Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do

[MijRai]

Harry Dresden is no longer allowed to show the Eldest Gruff the Happy Tree Friends ever again.
1) Even if he laughed himself silly over it the last time.

Perfect.

Harry is no longer allowed to

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have 'dreams' about Molly. At least for two decades. He got a bit of a show already.

[Mira]

 Sell ice cubes to Mab..

[thausgt]

I am not allowed to give Murphy a pair of elevator shoes for Christmas....I do not want to have a broken leg over the holidays...

I am ESPECIALLY not allowed to get Murphy a set of these things:
http://www.powerskip.de/mainpage.html

I am SUPER-ESPECIALLY not allowed to sign Thomas up for parkour classes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQfFYO9xJBY
... mostly because he doesn't NEED them; I'll save the fees to sign Murphy up...

[KINCAID ex cursori]

I will not sing "who's afraid of the big bad wolf" in front of the Alpha's.
a) unless I want to be eaten

I will not challenge Kincaid to a duel over Murphy:
a) I won't challenge the Merlin, either
b) Both would kill me

I will not play practical jokes on medical students by replacing bob with a skull on a replica skeleton;
a) Bob would enjoy it to much
b) Who knows what could happen

I will not play with matches;
a) i can already torch things, who needs sticks to help/

I will not apply to be in any new shows concerning magic;
I have enough already not dying

I will not find a way to use magic to fly to the moon, and leave the world to rot;
a) its just, saving the world is what i do
b) I would probably tick off the aliens

I will not refer to Cowl as "He who shall not be named"
a) or kincaid

I will not call ancient mai "old mayonnaise"
a)she could probably kill me

[

[Kris_W]

* snip *

I will not challenge Kincaid to a duel over Murphy:
a) I won't challenge the Merlin, either
b) Both would kill me

And after they each killed me Murphy would step in and kill me again. Probably twice.

[logarithm.and.blues]

I am not allowed to bestow sapience on a chest and enchant it to get up on a hundred feet and follow me around all day.
a) Mouse would get angry.
b) Mister would too.

I am also not to give in to Bob's wheedling and make a boob job potion for Molly/Murphy.

I am also not allowed to mail Mavra a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula for my own personal amusement.
a) that would be bad judgment.

I also will not do a reenactment of the last scene of "The Last Samurai" with Fidelacchius.

I am also not allowed to refer to Cowl as George A. Romero.
a) mainly in the event that he tries to

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pull another Kemmler

.

Before using my blasting rod to throw around fire, I will not shout, "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER!"

I am not allowed to buy a "Bad Mother F*cker" wallet for Ramirez.
a) that would only make him more confident at making jokes at my expense
b) or for anyone on the Council, for that matter.

I am not allowed to refer to any Denarian with tentacles as "Dr. Octagonapus."

I am not to try and run over Marcone with the Blue Beetle after he sees me and says "Motherf*cker" (thinly veiled reference to the scene from Pulp Fiction where (spoilers for Pulp Fiction)

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Marsellus sees Butch while he's crossing the street after Butch won the fight and says "Motherf*cker" before Butch hits him with his car.

).
a) Hendricks would kick my arse.

[KINCAID ex cursori]

I will not use magic to awe little kids
a) in disneyland
b) near Morgan

I will likewise not let Bob out near the Haunted mansion;
a) or any other ghosts

I will not show thomas off to any goth kids:
a) he'd probably try and eat them
b) i'd stop him
c) he'd enjoy the attention
d)i'm a spoilsport

KINCAID ex cursori

[KINCAID ex cursori]

I will not;

Hire Toot toot out to Disneyland and make $ while paying them in Pizza
A. probably breaking the laws of magic
B. toot toot would probably stay in there forever, and i do mean forever.

won't use toot toot or the Za-lords guard as
A. an extermination service
B.a way to annoy my rivals- as seen in TC when he ruins the PI.'s car.

Won't challenge Merlin to a dance off.
A. couldn't stand it if he won
B. If he won- imagine a couple 100 year old discoing (uggh)
C. Like wise- none of the senior council is invited
D. Molly and her friends are though...

[KINCAID ex cursori]

I will not;

Audition for the next Harry potter movie.
A. I'd make a GREAT harry- darn Radcliffe
B. I don't need no stinkin wand 4  magic.
C. Old Voldy is nothing compared to HE Who Walks Behind

Ditch P.I.'ing And audition as a vampire slayer

[FFGANDALF]

I'm under no circumstances to revel to Murphy that I know that she "likes" me.

[GWPfark]

I'm under no circumstances to revel to Murphy that I know that she "likes" me.

Or that she likes girls too.

[j3nnee]

I will not:

1) buy a Ghost Busters suit and say: "Let's go bust some ghosts!"
2) recreate Mickey's magician's assistant scene again as I did in Storm Front
3) place Bob's skull on my shoulder and joke "two heads are better than one."
4) sing to Lash: "Me and my shadow..."
5) make a potion to enhance that certain part of the ... well you know the ads.

[nthnclls]

I will not pickpocket Rudolph or Greene using magic, not matter how awesome it would be.

[j3nnee]

Harry should not sing these songs:

1) The Impossible Dream - from Man of La Mancha
2) My Way - Frank Sinatra
3) For once in my life - Tony Bennett
4) Play that funky music, white boy
5) You can do magic - America
6) Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band
7) Mama Told me not to come - Three Dog night

[SmartAlec]

Humming while the Merlin is talking during Council meetings is frowned upon. Humming the scores of Disney's The Sword in the Stone or Fantasia while the Merlin is talking is punishable by death.