It's less about whether or not I expected them to change and more about whether or not I would get a mental reset and be able to deal with it for longer. Burnout is fun.
Bad coworkers are a pain in the derrière.
Can you tell, what it is, that's so bad about them? Sometimes it helps to say it aloud or write it down.
Are they lazy?
Do they work against you or against each other?
Is it all of them or are there exceptions?
Sometimes it is enough that there are one or two arseholes and the rest is to scared to say or do anything and some join them in doing arseholy things just to be on their good side.
Did you ever talk about the problems?
Does anyone talk about the problems?
What needs to be changed?
Sometimes it gets a bit better just to honestly say something about the situation and one's feelings about it with everyone present. That tells them "We see you. We know who you are. We see what you do. We have been nice about it before, but there is a line that has been crossed and we won't tolerate that any more." No need to say any names. The ones you mean will know it is them.
I've done that. I said I had enough. I told them we don't have to like each other, but I want people I can trust with work related stuff. We don't have to see each other in private. But would you please behave like adults and just do your job.
After that I thought now I am persona non grata until one if us leaves. And they do look at me with other eyes now. More careful. As if they were afraid to piss me off. And they should be. To be honest, I'm done with being pushed around. And I made that clear.
They are still bullying others but not when they think I might see or hear about that. And I did tell them, that everyone talked to me. EVERYONE!
I never used a threatening voice or said it in threatening words. But I think they understood how angry I was.
It's just two or three out of 20, but they can ruin the whole atmosphere.
I think they were impressed, because I didn't say something for myself but for two others I noticed have been bullied for a long time. And as long as no one says anything they do whatever they want with you, because they can.
I don't need them to like me. They can even hate me. I don't care, as long as they keep their personal stuff out of work. And I do the same.
I want to cite an old woman I had a talk about arrogant people. Those who try to make you feel inferior, because they supposedly have a better life, a better job, more money, are more beautiful, raise their kids better and so on. Everyone knows such people.
The woman told me: "I don't feel inferior anymore. I told myself, that I am somebody, too."
And she was right. Everyone is somebody. If you feel the need to look down on others, then I pity you. Then you don't understand that the person you are looking down at is somebody, too. Just somebody else.
