Author Topic: thoughts/comments?  (Read 3991 times)

Offline seradhe

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 241
  • insert witty cliche here
    • View Profile
    • Where I write things
thoughts/comments?
« on: November 07, 2007, 07:58:42 PM »
a kind of "prelude of things to come" writing I did (on the back of a deposit envelope at work no less  ::) ) felt like sharing it.

Mankind is Naive.

Sure, they're advanced, their culture civilized to a degree. but it's all based old, archaic ideals. Generations of teachers, leaders, philosophers, inventors, doctors... all living an illusion.

They think they know evil, can give it a label. since their ancestors first huddled around fires, they strained to peer into the darkness and give a name to what hid there. even with candles, lamps, lightbulps, and flashlights. People gazed just beyond the lights reach. Their minds gave it names. "Cthulhu, Lilith, Kubera, the devil". They prided themselves on making names for these things, and calling them evil, feeling superior. Even though "evil" has been around long before any smaller race had given it a name.

Mankind lives on, blind behind their names and labels. These create assumptions, and errors.

They would see a book, bound in flesh and written in blood, and label it evil. Yet no one would think twice of the light blue spiral notebook with the odd stain on the corner...



May actually make a story off of this later on, I like it
I think it's painfully obvious why my pants are gone.

Offline blgarver

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 543
  • There are three things all wise men fear...
    • View Profile
    • Video Samples
Re: thoughts/comments?
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2007, 03:19:46 PM »
Oooo, I like.

I'd keep reading if this was the opening to something.

Nice work! ;D

BLG
I'm a videographer by trade.  Check out my work if you're a writer that needs to procrastinate.  Not as good as Rhett and Link, but I do what I can.
http://vimeo.com/user1855060/videos

Offline fivestyle

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 2009
  • I like Coke and cold showers!
    • View Profile
Re: thoughts/comments?
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2007, 03:47:30 PM »
One question though, It is supposed to be a humorus story correct?

Offline seradhe

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 241
  • insert witty cliche here
    • View Profile
    • Where I write things
Re: thoughts/comments?
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2007, 01:39:03 AM »
One question though, It is supposed to be a humorus story correct?

well, I am sort of writing it like the narrator is watching events with a sort of mild amusement.

.. or do you mean humorous like haha funny?
I think it's painfully obvious why my pants are gone.

Offline fivestyle

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 2009
  • I like Coke and cold showers!
    • View Profile
Re: thoughts/comments?
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2007, 04:14:07 PM »
I got sort of the vibe of a Weaonesque kind of story. Comedy mixed into a little horror/drama. A little lighthearted.

Offline seradhe

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 241
  • insert witty cliche here
    • View Profile
    • Where I write things
Re: thoughts/comments?
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2007, 12:30:54 AM »
it could end up that way. truth be told I have no clue how my stories will read until about two weeks after I finish writing them. I'll read it again and be like "wow..."


.. of course this discussion inspires me to link such..

http://seradhe.deviantart.com/art/Impressionable-children-45549960

I think it's painfully obvious why my pants are gone.

Offline Lisa™

  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13327
    • View Profile
Re: thoughts/comments?
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2007, 01:09:15 AM »
I'd keep reading if this was the opening to something.

I second that.  You've got me interested now.  D*mn it.  You're evil.   ;)
Quote from: CrazyGerbilLady
Full Assed FTW!

Quote from: Snowleopard
I have a friend who'd say: "That sounds vaguely obscene and if there's anything I can't stand it's vagueness!"