Author Topic: The first line  (Read 26754 times)

Offline Dusty Black

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Re: The first line
« Reply #60 on: March 24, 2008, 08:41:07 PM »
I'm a little late to this party, but here's something I started off with.

“Prepare to accept my seed, pitiful Earth female!” The foam rubber monster bellowed with his tentacles flailing wildly, “You will be the mother of an invincible race of super soldiers!”
   
“Uhm… Okay!” the vacuous blonde giggled and chirped. Her overly ample breasts bounced ridiculously as the monster chased her around a laboratory set so old that it probably predated film.  As they practiced their alien foreplay, both the blonde and the monster were blissfully unaware that the boom mic dropped down into the scene from time to time as if to say “hi”.

Offline LizW65

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Re: The first line
« Reply #61 on: March 24, 2008, 10:48:20 PM »
With good reason - I think Good Omens may be the funniest novel I've ever read. Combine that with Jim-style snark and it's just what I want to grow up to be. ;)

I'll second that!  ;D
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Offline Cyclone Jack

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Re: The first line
« Reply #62 on: March 28, 2008, 12:15:29 AM »

I'm much more a last line guy. A lot of times, overtly elaborate hooks can feel artificial -- especially since, as first lines, they have to work before the reader knows anything about the fictional world. IMO, a good first line is three things: Informative about the story or character, promises conflict, and reads smoothly.
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Offline Shecky

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Re: The first line
« Reply #63 on: March 28, 2008, 03:27:10 PM »
I'm much more a last line guy. A lot of times, overtly elaborate hooks can feel artificial -- especially since, as first lines, they have to work before the reader knows anything about the fictional world. IMO, a good first line is three things: Informative about the story or character, promises conflict, and reads smoothly.

It really depends on whether the writer/editor/agent/publisher/etc. is hanging the whole shebang on one thing. Want to get 'em to buy and read the book? You need a good first line/paragraph. But if you want 'em to pick up the NEXT book by the same author, that opener needs to be followed by an equally good body AND finisher.

So unless the writer wants to be a one-shot, the whole damn thing has to be good... rendering all of this moot. Still, there are plenty of people out there who do not depend on reviews, synopses, blurbs and the like, who just pick the book up and look at the first page; they're a large-enough segment of the population to make a good opener a strong strategy.

... that being said, I also think the final bit determines the lasting impression the reader retains, so it needs to be a step above the rest of the book, just like the opener. Closing the circle, raising new interest, answering the question, etc. - all valid as long as they hit that satisfaction button in the reader's mind. F'r'instance, that opener I whipped out should be bookended by the character finally getting to have a nice, quiet sit-down... in the same bathroom (if the story is intended to be "hero wins it all and ties everything up nicely à la Hollywood"), in another roughly the same (if it's "hero wins but at a cost that's tough yet acceptable") or in an outhouse (if it's "hero just barely escapes in the end and reprioritizes to appreciate simply being alive"). ;)
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Offline the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh

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Re: The first line
« Reply #64 on: March 28, 2008, 05:25:25 PM »
It really depends on whether the writer/editor/agent/publisher/etc. is hanging the whole shebang on one thing. Want to get 'em to buy and read the book? You need a good first line/paragraph.

This is really not necessarily true; or at least, of the agents and editors I've talked to about this, the consensus is, if it's worth picking up in the first place, it's worth reading the first chapter/thirty-to-forty pages of, specifically because not every shape of story starts with a hook or wants to.
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Offline Shecky

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Re: The first line
« Reply #65 on: March 28, 2008, 05:42:51 PM »
This is really not necessarily true; or at least, of the agents and editors I've talked to about this, the consensus is, if it's worth picking up in the first place, it's worth reading the first chapter/thirty-to-forty pages of, specifically because not every shape of story starts with a hook or wants to.

But you're saying precisely what I was saying, just from the other side of the same coin - I was speaking of readers more than of agents/editors, since it's the reader's attention that matters in the end. The sector of the reading population that DOES open a book in the store and look at the first page (a sizeable sector) can be sold or turned off by that first page alone; once they've seen that opener, only THEN does the rest of the book matter. In the end, however, as I said, the whole book must live up to that opener or there won't be any RETURN business by that sector.

I specifically did not mention "hook" - there's a difference between a hook and a good opener. A good opener does not necessarily grab the reader, but it DOES pique his interest, whereas a pure-and-simple hook runs the risk of incurring a "Yeah, and?" from the reader.
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Offline Fantasie117

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Re: The first line
« Reply #66 on: April 05, 2008, 03:41:07 AM »
I'm good at starting pieces, but man, I can't finish a long story for anything. When I'm at work, I see a lot of books on how to start a story. The whole idea of the "hook" and how important the first few pages are to getting the reader's attention. I can do that. A good ending, though. That's skill.

During my senior year of college, I had to write two stories, 75-100 pages each. One in the fall, and one in the spring. They both sort of just stopped because I'd run out of time and the semester was over. The fall semester's opening was: "I light a cigarette as the shack burns." I'm in the process of rewriting the story, but I kind of like that opening.

I've written more nonfiction pieces, mostly newspaper articles, and I really enjoyed writing leads. While most of my classmates hated leads, I had a lot of fun with them. It's the same idea as fiction. One or two sentences to grab the reader. One time, I wrote a piece on traveling to London, and the lead was: "London is calling." The follow-up began with: "London called. I answered. And it was good."

Offline Tempus Corvus

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Re: The first line
« Reply #67 on: April 13, 2008, 09:45:12 PM »
This isn't a first line of a book, just of a chapter.

"Clink-clink-clink-clink. I didn’t know how Alketh had obtained a tin cup, given that our captors had made sure we had no metal accessible, but that was beside the point. The point was, I was dangerously close to taking it and bludgeoning him with it."

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Offline LizW65

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Re: The first line
« Reply #68 on: April 14, 2008, 12:01:31 PM »
Here's my first line:

"Eighteen months ago, Jerry Straight left his Times Square office to get three corned beef sandwiches and a pack of Chesterfields, and vanished off the face of the earth."
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Offline terioncalling

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Re: The first line
« Reply #69 on: April 21, 2008, 10:20:07 PM »
Behold, the beginning lines and/or paragraphs from a handful of my stories and drabbles...

Medi Varnl, Book 1: Feloinain

Horac swung his fist at Tristol, knuckles connecting solidly with the younger boy’s cheek. The slightly taller fifteen-year-old was slung to the ground by the fierce blow and landed face down in the trampled grass and dirt beneath their feet. As he fell the cap he’d been wearing flew off, letting loose a curtain of shoulder length dark hair and a pair of furry ears that were far from human.

Black Chaos

I had no childhood; at least, not any that I remember. Any memories before my thirteenth year just don’t exist anywhere in my head. Not lost.  Gone.

Cleave

Handcuffs are number one on the list of things uncomfortable to wear.

Bones, a Love Story of Sorts

Birds chirped, a cool breeze rustled the leaves, and all seemed to be well around Sothan to Kalya. The young woman that had just passed into her twentieth year a few days ago turned where she stood and frowned at the jungles that seemed every year to get closer and closer.

Vampire Dust, Book 1: In the Darkness All Alone

Waking up with the scent of blood in your nose, I’ve discovered, is no fun way to wake up. Especially if you’re not exactly sure why you can smell it at all.

Medi Varnl, Book 2: Whekai

I am Julienka Moldrenke-Whebon. Though I would more gladly claim the name Bailn to be mine as that is the name of the man I gave my heart and body to. But it cannot be so.

Medi Varnl, Book 5: Pirate

Jumping off a ship in the middle of the ocean wearing nothing but a pair of ragged cloth pants that have seen many better days and some hastily put on bandages made from the remains of an equally ragged shirt is not the brightest idea. But when you’ve been captured by pirates that you know for certain kill anyone they take captive from a ship they’ve raided after they ply them for information…jumping into the ocean doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

A Magical Burden

Paper rustled and dark leather gloves carefully held the wanted poster as frightened hazel eyes stared at it.  There was a rustle of claws then and a rough voice growled, “Looks like they’ve upped the bounty.”

Unnamed

The world isn’t as nice as some might think.

Drabble: Eyesight to the Blind

“Mistletoe,” murmured the woman as she crouched next to the corpse, using a pencil to lift his hand.  The green springs and red berries stared back at her and she cursed, dropping her head into her non-gloved hand.  “Shit, he was a practitioner.”

Drabble: Hit the Ground

“Just make sure you hit the ground on your feet,” my Dad used to say.  “So long as you land upright, you’ll do fine.  Land on your back and there’ll be trouble coming to you.”

Drabble: Meant to Live

So, thought Terrence as he glanced around, this is it.  Death.

Drabble: People Are Strange

“You are strange,” commented Varin as he gave Ziggy a sideways glance.  He was still trying to figure out just why she was called that as nothing about her zigged.  Or zagged.  Or anything else with a ‘z’.
"If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I will write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always. I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you." - Henry Rollins

Offline bleet08

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Re: The first line
« Reply #70 on: April 22, 2008, 01:40:35 AM »
That was a lot of reading!!  I was intrigued to see that the first line was a hook for some, and others it didn't even phase them.  I guess it depends on the type of book your picking up to read.  Like someone had said, I give it to the first 100 pages, and then go from there.  As always, my opener remains locked up.  ;D
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Offline Spectacular Sameth

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Re: The first line
« Reply #71 on: April 22, 2008, 06:14:55 PM »
Stone the Apprentice
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Stone the Summoner
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I gritted my teeth as the sludgy water drew up around my mid thighs.

Both of them are narrated by the girl in my avatar.

Offline LogicMouse

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Re: The first line
« Reply #72 on: April 23, 2008, 03:32:44 AM »
From Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash: No one I've ever handed this book to has been able to read the first paragraph and then set it down. 

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      The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory.  He's got esprit up to here.  Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night.  His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air.  A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest.  Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.


From a short story I wrote a few months ago and will never publish (Can't, it's the dreaded fanfic):

     "I awoke from an old dream of my teeth meeting in a man's throat, and for a moment my mouth was again filled with the taste of hot blood and lingering darkness." 
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Re: The first line
« Reply #73 on: April 24, 2008, 03:13:37 AM »
Back in the day, when I bought my books in a brick and mortar store, I had a rather consistent pattern for deciding if a book of fiction was worth buying.

A novel I bought had to a) have a catchy title that stuck out on the shelf, b) have a back cover description that actually presented an idea of what the story was about, c) pass the reading of page 1 test where checked to see if the author’s writing and style caught my interest, and d) have a page count justifying the price.

The bookstore had a policy preventing people from standing at the rack reading magazines or books in any detail. They were of the opinion that if you wanted to read it buy it so I was limited in what I could do.

How important was the first sentence alone? Sometimes very, sometimes not, but something had to catch my interest rather than leaving me feeling like I should buy another book instead. Why not give your best shot at catching a reader’s interest at the first opportunity if you can?  It’s a bit different with me now that I buy most all of my books online.

Offline the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh

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Re: The first line
« Reply #74 on: April 24, 2008, 04:09:02 PM »
How important was the first sentence alone? Sometimes very, sometimes not, but something had to catch my interest rather than leaving me feeling like I should buy another book instead. Why not give your best shot at catching a reader’s interest at the first opportunity if you can?

Because not all stories work that way.  Forcing a hook on a story that wants a slow, measured opening does nobody any favours.
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