Author Topic: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread  (Read 103844 times)

Offline Blaze

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #60 on: January 14, 2009, 03:21:46 PM »
OMG --  I have to declare MSL the winner of this round!  I posted something too depressing.  *GONG*

Who shall choose the next theme?
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline One Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #61 on: January 14, 2009, 03:28:57 PM »
Can I choose?
Your Friendly Neighborhood God of Fertility, Master of Pheromones, and Lord of Aphrodisiacs

Absolute Tyrant of Madagascar!

Offline Lisa™

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #62 on: January 14, 2009, 03:35:24 PM »
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

I had a bad love,
I mean I loved  him, bad...
But he didn't notice.
Man it made me sad.

It was torture.  Torture and more.
To be ignored, by the man you adore.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

He was a senior guy.
I was a freshman.
He made me want to die.
He had red hair

Like the sun did rise.
He was gorgeous, he nearly hurt my eyes.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

Everyday, up the sun came .
Everyday the sun did rise.
Then bus came, just the same.
I was the first pick up, surprise

I had to wait for the sixth stop
Where my heart did drop.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

He had a brother.
They shared a seat
With each other
I looked at my feet.

Every day, just the same.
Ever knowing, he didn't know my name.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

I've  been married.
Since 1982.
Happily married.
So what can I do?

But explain bad love, and how
That bad love, even hurts right now.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

A year of sorrow, rejection, pain
A year of feeling, like I'd go insane.
A year of trying, to speak and fail,
A year of being wan and pale....

I but  have to say here, there was irony,
Cause the guy I married, felt that way about me....

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

*Laughs 'til she cries*
Quote from: CrazyGerbilLady
Full Assed FTW!

Quote from: Snowleopard
I have a friend who'd say: "That sounds vaguely obscene and if there's anything I can't stand it's vagueness!"

Offline Ms Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #63 on: January 14, 2009, 05:34:58 PM »
 i was trying to think of a response but that last poem wassssss toooooooo deeeeeeeeeep.

Oo
-

Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #64 on: January 14, 2009, 06:26:36 PM »
Yeah, That is why I gonged myself.  Like being asked to bring dessert to a party and bringing something made of whole grain.   :P

I have no problem with OE naming a theme, Hows abouts you MSL?

Lisa -- Thanks! My homage to Adventures in Baby Sitting!
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Ms Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #65 on: January 14, 2009, 07:10:11 PM »


one the offer of One Eye
no scoffer, no jest nor lie
he picks or loose
a joke to choose
id toffer he rhymed a try
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Ms Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #66 on: January 14, 2009, 10:55:51 PM »


so old bear, whats the chance ?
a murderous halfling ? perhaps romance ?
give us a hint, toss us a clue ?
whats the rhyme, a lonely ewe ?
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Ms Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #67 on: January 14, 2009, 10:57:57 PM »
yoooo hooo one eyyye !
you begged to voulnteer
now rhyme us a subject
or well stick in your rear !
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #68 on: January 15, 2009, 01:38:33 AM »
OE I poke-eth thee,
I poke-eth thee again..

Give to me the theme
Or be poke-ethed in the end.
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Katty

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #69 on: January 15, 2009, 01:47:48 AM »
I'm not OE, but I has an idea!

Poultry!  Since MSL is a duck, and I call Blaze a chicken on a regular basis....

 ;D
"No one gets to their heaven without a fight." - Neil Peart

"I'm going to hell for that bit.  And I'm taking all of you with me." - Denis Leary

Offline Blaze

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #70 on: January 15, 2009, 02:03:39 AM »
LOL  Poultry.  Hrm...

Mehmeht wanted for a wife,
To help him with the farm,
To bear him sons, share his life
and fill his life with charm.

Aya was sweet and lithe
The youngest girl of ten,
Her parents owed the yearly tithe
To tax collecting men.

Mehmeht said, "I'll barter
for your daughter's hand
Ten chickens is my starter
offering, these hens are grand."

Aya's parents pondered
Aya's family thought
Aya's eyes had wandered
at the farmer as they aught.

Om Aya said, "never shall I
Sell my daughter short."
Abba Aya said, "there's a guy
Offering more at port."

Mehmet said, "then a dozen.
A dozen laying hens
And a peacock from my cousin
And a goose who defends.

"The gander is protective
The peacock is selective
The hens are procreative
May I have her for my Mate-ive?"

Aya then got married,
Started a new life,
She found life quite harried
And she felt the strife.

"Mehmeht, undervalues me."
So she told her Mum.
"How else could it ever be?
"He got you for a poultry sum."





Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Ms Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #71 on: January 15, 2009, 02:42:12 AM »
AWESOME
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Ms Duck

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #72 on: January 15, 2009, 03:02:13 AM »

Once upon a rosy dawn
walked a naive duck chick
met upon a bragging swan
claimed he a mighty prick

"I was Leda's lust
she swoon neath my wing
I tasted virgins bust
sampled Ganymedes ring

I comforted fair Isodole
when the Lance was lost
she screamed on my pole
just like old man Faust

a legend is my mighty wand
no need to get tackey
been mentioned far and yond
even in Mercedes Lackey

It was I taught Anita Blake
to forget wolf and vamp
for my mighty members sake
shes no longer a tramp

So what say you
cute little missy duck
never will she rue
who tries me for a f_ck"

the little duck thought long
the little duck thought hard
would it be so truly wrong
to have a quick roll in yard ?

the duck spake "No, Dove
your brags are  but a test
after all those other loves
youve got herpes, at best "









Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #73 on: January 15, 2009, 04:03:11 AM »
*Stomps and whistles*  Hooray!
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Blaze

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Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #74 on: January 15, 2009, 05:43:45 AM »
I really know Poultry
My knowledge is quite deep
I can pluck and clean  them,
Almost in my sleep.

I can do six and hour,
Six and maybe more
Depending on the weather
the feathers and the gore.

I really know poultry,
Such knowledge do I keep
That I can tell a rooster
Even as a peep.

It's all in the wing feathers
Don't you laugh, it's true
Go ask a chicken sexer
That's what he will tell you.

I really know Poultry,
they come in shades (like gray)
they lay eggs like crazy
One each every day.

Chickens need no rooster
To pump out eggs most hale;
Only if its hatchlings
you want you need a male.

I really know poultry
With names like Araucana
Barnevelder, and  Crevecoeur,
Dominiker, Faverolles , Havana,

Jersey Giant and LeFleche
Minorca and New Hampshire,
Or Orpington, Penedesenca,
And the Redcap  Derbyshire.

I really know my Poultry,
and chicken love is swift,
Slam bam comes the rooster
then leaves the hens all miffed.

No stately peacock dances
No courtly crane cavorts
Their hit and run romances
End with partners out of sorts.

I really know my poultry
My parents had a farm,
I gathered eggs on weekends
It had a sort of charm.

I got to know the chickens,
They're cannibals, you see?
So I didn't mind when time came
To make them fricassee.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2009, 05:46:00 AM by Blaze »
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.