Tengu Sponsored Magic

[Lavecki121]

One of my players made a character with this magic and we just wanted to flesh it out a little more. I know there are a few people here who are experienced with Sponsored magics and the balances there in so here is the magic at this point in time:

TENGU MAGIC [-4]

Description: Drawing on the power of the Tengu Court , you're able to cast spells that fit its essential nature: wind, illusions, stealth,and mischief. These magics are under the sway and watch of the Tengu King Sojobo; making use of them will inevitably catch his notice.
Sponsor: The Tengu King and his Dai Tengu Nobles.
Agenda: The finding of worthy opponents and engaging them in general combat or in a one on one duel. The safekeeping of forests and mountains  from both mortal and supernatural destruction, taking vengeance for insults and perceived wrongs and the destruction or subjugation of opposing Youkai clans and courts.

Evocation:  Tengu Magic evocations take the form of various ninjutsu involving elements of powerful gusts of wind, realistic illusions, and subtle warfare involving poison and deadly misdirection.

Thaumaturgy: Tengu Magic rituals may be used to cast mischievous disfiguring curses or horrific transformations upon a target using biomancy. However crafting powerful enchanted items or possessing a person is easily within the realm of possibility.

Evothaum: When used in combat or vengeful mischief to mortals who have made an enemy of the Tengu in some fashion particularly priestly figures, rituals can be cast with Evocation's speed and methods using Tengu Magic.

Extra Benefits: The user is granted the telepathic communication the Tengu are famed for (Treat as Pack Instincts) and may converse with whomever they desire at the cost of minor mental stress, provided it is in brief sentences. This does not however grant the ability to read minds, though the user may fool the gullible into thinking so. If used to communicate with a Tengu, they may do so in full sentences, but the overall effect is still the same.

[Sanctaphrax]

Looks usable.

But it could be improved. Some of the evocation effects sound more like thaumaturgy, and the "communicate by spending mental stress" thing has no real mechanics. Plus the thaumaturgy is a bit vague, and the grammar is a bit muddled in the evothaum section.

If I were you I'd expand the evothaum to include the poison, illusion, and non-Pack telepathy. And I'd nail down the thaumaturgy a bit more.

All that aside, I'll add this to the list next time it updates. Unless you object, of course.

[Lavecki121]

I have no objections. The credit for it goes to Jebm though. I was looking for improvements though, if you have any or have time to do your own write up of it I would appreciate it very much.

[Sanctaphrax]

Oh, really?

I knew Jebm did some Tengu stuff, but I didn't think he had a full Sponsored Magic.

Anyway, here's my take. I'm not completely happy with the wording, but I think it's usable.

TENGU MAGIC [-4]
Description: Drawing on the power of the Tengu Court , you're able to cast spells that fit its essential nature: wind, illusions, stealth,and mischief. These magics are under the sway and watch of the Tengu King Sojobo; making use of them will inevitably catch his notice.
Sponsor: The Tengu King and his Dai Tengu Nobles.
Agenda: Finding of worthy opponents and engaging them in a one on one duel or in general combat. Protecting forests and mountains from both mortal and supernatural destruction, taking vengeance for insults and perceived wrongs, and  destroying or subjugating opposing Youkai clans and courts.
Evocation: Tengu Magic evocations take the form of various ninjutsu involving veils and powerful gusts of wind.
Thaumaturgy: Tengu Magic rituals may be used to curse people, especially with disfigurement. Poisons, illusions, possession, telepathy, item creation, and general mischief are also possible.
Evothaum: Tengu Magic rituals can be cast with Evocation's speed and methods if they create illusions, allow telepathic communication, inflict poisons, or target mortals who are enemies of the tengu.
Extra Benefits: A character with Tengu Magic receives the Pack Instincts Power for free, with the tengu as their pack.

[Jebm]

I like it , I like it a lot. Thanks Sanctaphrax for the update and Lavecki for making an individual thread for it.

[Mrmdubois]

What's the problem with the wording Sanctaphrax?

[Sanctaphrax]

Nothing major. Just not thrilled with how the sentences sound. I think they're a little bit clunky, not aesthetically pleasing.