my players are requesting

[Theodore Rockwell]

They have been asking me to drop in the Cullens sparkle "vamps" for them to have fun with.  By fun I mean beat up.  They have stuck through a rather lengthy story that is getting close to over.  I am inclined to grant their wish as a light hearted break from the big story.  So my request is for some help stating up the Cullens since I have never read the books.  My players are at a 9 refresh level and as much as they want to steamroll and curb stomp the not vampires, I want them to learn not to underestimate things.

[Adin]

I envy you for never having read those books.  Sadly I have *shudder* and would be glad to help you.

Sadly a curb stomp won't be possible if you wish to portray them as the were portrayed in the books, they are rather notorious for being ludicrously overpowered in comparison to anything short of a god.  For most of them:  Blood Drinker, Feeding Dependency, Supernatural Strength, Speed, Toughness and Recovery.  Possibly mythic speed as some are described moving faster than human eyes can track.  Inhuman senses for sight, hearing and smell.  Picking up venomous claws is a good idea to represent the fangs and venom.  This venom incapacitates any mortal target with horrendous pain as it converts them into a vampire over three days or so.  Apparently, this can be stopped by sucking the venom out quickly enough. 

Additionally, most gain one extra superpower varying from useless to ludicrously overpowered (which they can apparently magnify even more if they just Believe in themselves hard enough, or if your vampire Mary Sue believes in herself hard enough.)  Such powers can include mind reading, emotion control, immunity to all magic, ability to perfectly see all possible futures, or superhuman compassion...

Just in case they weren't poorly written enough, they also have no weaknesses.  At all...  They do sparkle in sunlight which i would handle as an aspect compel on the off chance it inconveniences them.  Honestly, twilight vampires don't so much feel like vampires so much as generic super humans who drink blood but don't do anything else vampirey.

[synobal]

Don't do it man. Just don't do it...do not contaminate your game with such foul creatures. 

[UmbraLux]

@Adin - Wow.  I'm glad I haven't read the books just from your description.

@TR - If you don't care about trying to duplicate the book, you could just create a mob of mortal wanna-be vampires who throw stripper glitter around and drink blood.  Then give them a couple of stunts and beat up the PCs with tactics. 

[Adin]

As for actual members of the Cullen family, I'll be going by memory here so it may not be perfect, (it has been years since i read that atrocity to literature.)

All these characters have all the basic sparkle vamp powers from my last post.

Carlisle- the 'father,' a doctor of medicine, very high discipline, power of compassion or something.
Esme- his wife, very pointless character, has power of niceness?
Edward- stalker of bella, can read minds.
Jasper- low discipline, excellent physical combat skill, can incite or calm emotion in others.
Alice- Jasper's wife, can see all possible futures branching off of every choice.  perhaps the only character who even came close to interesting, (not saying much.)
Rosealie?- or possibly rosemary I can't remember.  May or may not have had a power, disliked the author avatar bella and so we the audience are supposed to dislike her.  Is pro life, and that's about it.
Bella Swan Cullen- The most infamous Mary Sue, author avatar in the history of modern literature, Is stalked and emotionally abused by Edward and therefore marries him right out of high school,  after she stops trying to kill herself so he will pay attention to her.  Manipulative and cunning with a high deceit skill, she is physically the most powerful of the family with all her powers at the mythic level.  and she is entirely immune to all psychic magic and can make anyone nearby her equally immune.  Should be used as a final boss.  (as the nostalgia critic put it, she would have made a great Shakespearean villain if her psychotic mindset were something the author had intended.)

There is also the werewolf Jacob who she strings along for awhile with powers similar to dresden verse werewolves only with most physical powers at the supernatural level minimum, toughness would be at inhuman.  At the end his werewolfness makes him fall madly in love with an infant dhampir followed by a suspiciously repeated denial by all the characters that the is anything pedophilic or wrong about this.

All and all, a crime against literature.  A nice slaughter is just what they need.  I recommend hunting them down one by one.  Getting progressively more challenging.  Start with Esme and Rosalie and end with Jasper, Alice, and finally Bella.

[Sanctaphrax]

I've read the first book. I didn't really like it, but it wasn't all that bad.

Adin's power breakdown sounds pretty good to me. Might add Living Dead, though. And I might stick to Inhuman powers...I certainly wouldn't give them Mythics.

I suggest that you give the vamps impressive Refresh levels to go with really low combat skills. Low skills ensure curbstomping, while high Refresh makes them look semi-credible.

Maybe throw in one competent vamp with Great to Superb skills as a nasty surprise for your players. Bonus points if the competent vamp is somehow more respect-worthy than the others.

[Adin]

Living dead is a good idea actually, or maybe a custom power without the rot issue.  They can survive being torn apart if someone puts them together again.  If I remember correctly, the only way to kill one was to tear into pieces and burn them.  Presumably the pieces can still attack you.  In the first book we don't see them do anything that couldn't be justified at the inhuman level.  The later books throw this out and mentions that a vampire could easily tear a tank in half, which is either supernatural or mythic strength.

Having them at low skills except for one or two is a great idea, allows it to be more stompy.


Then again, who cares about their powers being accurate to the books?  Just pick a power level that will allow your players to have the refreshing curb stomp they want!


Edit: also http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/Twilight

[Richard_Chilton]

You could have then as something from the Never-never - or infected by something by the Never-never.  A bit like the first the White Court Vampire, but bonded to something that feeds off of blood mixed with teenaged angst.  The sparkly bit could be a shared aspect, perhaps one tied to the high concept.

Richard

[grimward]

So glad I clicked on this thread. Been chuckling since I started reading it. Love the hate.

All I know about Twilight is what I've picked up from my 14 year old sister. They sparkle in the sun, and they have skin like marble. Also, Bella's mind is apparently unreadable. The Cullen family are supposed to be "vegetarian" vampires, in the sense that they don't drink human blood (I think, I'd stopped really listening to her after the words "twilight" and "good" came out of her mouth in the same sentence). You could do something like give them all these phenomenal powers, but not allow them to use any because they refuse to feed.

[Blackblade]

You could have then as something from the Never-never - or infected by something by the Never-never.  A bit like the first the White Court Vampire, but bonded to something that feeds off of blood mixed with teenaged angst.  The sparkly bit could be a shared aspect, perhaps one tied to the high concept.

Richard

Expanding upon the nevernever concept, the PCs could encounter them when they accidentally wandering through a teenage girl's dreamsscape.

[Richard_Chilton]

I've never read them, but I have read the reviews.  The Twilight series is basically a series of romance novels with "safe boys".  When reading the books, girls can experience a bad boy who is basically good, a rebel with the wisdom of years, with an obstacle (undeath) that keeps the lovers apart in an explainable way - so sex doesn't complicate the relationship until it is well established.

Calling them "vampire novels" is mislabeling them.  They are basically "schoolgirl meets boy she is destined for type" Harlequin Romances with a supernatural twist.  The "vampire" factor is just something to make them "bad boy/special" and girls love reading about sparkly things.  Since the vampire stuff is just the twist none of the fans cares about how the novels misuse an elements of the vampire tropes - they are reading a love story, not a horror novel.

There are a number of other "supernatural romances" out there - but most are aimed at an older audience and get to the sex in the first book.  Few of them try to keep unrequited chemistry between  the characters for more than half a book.  Many of them are porn masquerading as romance.

And few of them are good vampire (or werewolf, sorcerer, whatever) novels, because they aren't designed to be.  They are plotted out to be romances and nothing more.

Richard

[Aminar]

My first session villain was a Twilight Fangirl Black Court Vampire tricked into being infected by a white court Vampire. Because then she could be a sexy vampire like Bella.  She wasn't very happy when the rotting started to kick in. 

[Wookinstien]

Make them as nasty as possible.  Let the Cullens handout an asswhoopin', then let the players know hat there is one weapon guaranteed to destroy the Cullens once and for all....


The Holy Shotgun of Good Taste....

 

[CottbusFiles]

I still think those books have been commissioned by the white court to make hunting on teenage girls even easier.

[Viatos]

I've never read them, but I have read the reviews.  The Twilight series is basically a series of romance novels with "safe boys".  When reading the books, girls can experience a bad boy who is basically good, a rebel with the wisdom of years, with an obstacle (undeath) that keeps the lovers apart in an explainable way - so sex doesn't complicate the relationship until it is well established.

The problem with this assessment is that Edward watches Bella sleep, has a deep physical urge to murder her, and the first time they DO have sex it's described in a manner similar to a beatdown by a golem made out of freezing cold stone. All the people he knows - the only friends she makes, with one exception - are, like him, violent and inhuman creatures. These are the kind of things that a young, impressionable girl who reads the series is going to take away as markers of True Love. There are problems with this.

The one exception is a werewolf, and a pedophile as has been touched on - a pedophile who, after an infinite amount of time friendzoned by Bella, realizes he's destined to bang her daughter, who grows up unnaturally fast. Hey, what's that thing parents are always saying? "They grow up so fast"? I bet a friendzoned guy has never transferred frustrated affections from mother to daughter before ever, so this is probably just harmless fun. Jacob never asked or expected to be a pedophile - instead, he's apparently the victim of a phenomenon where werewolves instantly fall in love with one person FOREVER. They're expected to then groom this person to be their FOREVERLOVE.

So it's stuffed full of legitimately dangerous ideas like this, and - literary value aside - it's an incredibly powerful and appealing romance that achieved pandemic cultural influence. Don't hate the generation that's growing up on Twilight - weep for them. Their coming of age will have more then its share of ugly tragedies.

Play off that! If you haven't introduced the White Court, now's a great time to start with the concept of ruinous predators that masquerade as beautiful things. Hit players through any Aspects they have describing NPCs. Insert some embarrassing social conflicts against long odds for anyone not specializing in that. Feed their hatred to a fever-pitch, and make the fights as hard as they should be. Make 'em work for it.