Pregenerated PCs for Convention Use, Please Critique!

[Sanctaphrax]

I don't seem to have explained myself very well. I'm not bothered by the fact that they are Chest Deep, I just think a little note saying "Chest Deep" in the first or ninth post would be helpful.

As for the stunts:

I suggest that you replace Tia's Human Spider stunt with the Spider Walk or Wings power. You'd have to change the animal form, so it would be significant change to the character, but those powers make the stunt look worthless.

Kristie Hoffman's Athletics stunts can be replaced with Supernatural Speed for the same cost and a vastly better effect.

Landon's Martial Artist stunt isn't all that useful with Average Fists. I recommend that you either ditch it or increase his Fists skill.

Fearless and Fireproof are highly situational, so either make sure they come up in the one-shot or get rid of them.

The four-of-eight aspect does make the spread of characters seem more reasonable. Nonetheless, there are a lot of character types not represented here, and some players might be disappointed by the absence of thaumaturgy and the lack of characters dedicated to either social or physical combat.

[bibliophile20]

I don't seem to have explained myself very well. I'm not bothered by the fact that they are Chest Deep, I just think a little note saying "Chest Deep" in the first or ninth post would be helpful.

Sorry, my bad.  I think I was trying to get them all posted and forgot in the rush.

As for the stunts:

I suggest that you replace Tia's Human Spider stunt with the Spider Walk or Wings power. You'd have to change the animal form, so it would be significant change to the character, but those powers make the stunt look worthless.

I considered it that when I was building the character, but the Human Spider stunt is there to indicate her skill at parkour in human form; if I were to do that, I'd have to do an almost complete rebuild of the character and concept.  I'm playtesting this tomorrow, so we'll see how well she works if she's picked.  

Kristie Hoffman's Athletics stunts can be replaced with Supernatural Speed for the same cost and a vastly better effect.

True, but I thought Changelings got the powers of their parents, and elves get Inhuman Speed, not Supernatural according to Our World.  It's actually what I wanted to do, but the template description gave me pause.  

Landon's Martial Artist stunt isn't all that useful with Average Fists. I recommend that you either ditch it or increase his Fists skill.

Swap it with Alertness?  I can see him have the "mostly dead to the world" type of situational awareness.  

Fearless and Fireproof are highly situational, so either make sure they come up in the one-shot or get rid of them.

Shouldn't be a problem--not when the premise of the module is a

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incipient gang war that they're trying to defuse; $50 bruisers and Molotov cocktails galore! 

The four-of-eight aspect does make the spread of characters seem more reasonable. Nonetheless, there are a lot of character types not represented here, and some players might be disappointed by the absence of thaumaturgy and the lack of characters dedicated to either social or physical combat.

I left out Thaumaturgy on purpose; with the average convention game having, realistically, four hours of game time at most, Thaumaturgy, especially to a newbie to the system, can be a massive time sink.

Note that most of the characters have most of the social skills, and and there's a good leavening of combat skills, but, yeah, you're right, I set out to avoid making tanks.  A couple of reasons there; again, the four-of-eight is one reason, but time management is, likewise again, another.  

[Fyrchick]

Meri Metzger, Firefighter Squad Leader

Meri is the daughter of a second-generation firefighter.  After her older brother was killed in a routine fire, she took up the torch and joined the squad, and found a home.  Moving her way up the ranks, she eventually became a squad leader for her unit, and one day, she and her team went to go put out a fire—and found a man in a grey cloak throwing fire at big… things.  As a result, Meri is clued-in and somewhat unhappy about it.

High Concept
Firefighter Squad Leader

Trouble:
My Job Is To Run Into Burning Buildings

Other Aspects
The Family Tradition
The Voice Of Authority
The Building Was On Fire And It Was All His Fault
Whizzing On Forest Fires
Steeled And Fiery Temper

Skills:
Great (+4): Presence
Good (+3): Athletics, Discipline, Endurance
Fair (+2): Investigation, Rapport, Empathy, Alertness, Contacts
Average (+1): Resources, Scholarship, Conviction, Might, Fists, Intimidation

Stunts:
No Pain, No Gain: You can take a bunch of punishment before it starts to add up. You may take one additional mild physical consequence (page 203).

Leadership: When you talk, people listen. When using Presence to command a group (page 137), gain +1 on the effort. Further, your efforts to coordinate a group are efficient, moving one time increment (page 315) faster than normal.

Fireproof: You are incredibly resistant to fire and extreme heat in general. You have a natural armor score of 2 against fire.

Encouraging Leadership: People feel braver with your support. When leading a group in a social situation you may have your Presence skill complement that of your group.


Stress:   
Physical ○○○○
Mental ○○○
Social ○○○○
Armor:2 vs fire/heat   

Consequences: (P/M/S)
Mild:_________________
Mild (P):_________________
Moderate: _____________
Severe: ________________
Extreme: _______________


Total Refresh Cost: -4 (Pure Mortal)
Available Refresh: 6

I'n not sure how accurate you need or want your characters to be but I can offer a couple things.

There's not really a 'squad leader' in terms of fire depts. Generally each shift (usually 3 or four rotating shifts) has a Captain and Lt.  and the rest of the firefighters are either just Privates (or maybe just Firefighter).  If you want her to be involved in actual firefighting and be 'on the knob' then make her a Lt. is she is more command then make her a Captain.

Resources/contacts: I'd up the resources and/or contacts skill. Firefighting is a family, so she can call on the Family for just about anything, in any city. Just having a union sticker on your car will at least get you free parking at fire stations everywhere, for example. Not to mention on off days many FF work at another job or trade, so she can call on those resources as well. Its more of a options and support/networking resource than financial.

Trouble aspect: I'm not exactly sure why her job is a trouble per se. If you intend for it to be that she is impulsive and occasionally arrogant about her job that might be a little more accurate   There is a lot of "I'm a firefighter so I am right and you are wrong" personalities out there, and that has a lot of potential to compel (or use as an aspect, either way.)

Fireproof: Fire gear will protect for a long time in average interior firefighting conditions. But you need to have it on-this includes SCBA. If you run her as pure mortal then there is no way she can go into fire without it. Otherwise she'd need some supernatural element.  Maybe you can up the stunt to MAX of +2 if she has all her gear, otherwise its a +1 with just one part of the gear OR give her a time limit for the stunt for each scene.

The fearless thing... I don't think you need to change it. It can tie into her Trouble aspect.

I'm assuming the scholarship skill refers to being an EMT. If it doesn't I'd consider it.

Other ideas: add mental toughness (female AND shift leader? Yeah, she has to be tough.)
                   clarify fists?

Other than that she's remarkably similar to another character I have been working on...
                   

[bibliophile20]

I'n not sure how accurate you need or want your characters to be but I can offer a couple things.

There's not really a 'squad leader' in terms of fire depts. Generally each shift (usually 3 or four rotating shifts) has a Captain and Lt.  and the rest of the firefighters are either just Privates (or maybe just Firefighter).  If you want her to be involved in actual firefighting and be 'on the knob' then make her a Lt. is she is more command then make her a Captain.

  Lt. it is then.

Resources/contacts: I'd up the resources and/or contacts skill. Firefighting is a family, so she can call on the Family for just about anything, in any city. Just having a union sticker on your car will at least get you free parking at fire stations everywhere, for example. Not to mention on off days many FF work at another job or trade, so she can call on those resources as well. Its more of a options and support/networking resource than financial.

Nice.  I'll keep the skills where they are right now, but I'll keep that in mind. 

Trouble aspect: I'm not exactly sure why her job is a trouble per se. If you intend for it to be that she is impulsive and occasionally arrogant about her job that might be a little more accurate   There is a lot of "I'm a firefighter so I am right and you are wrong" personalities out there, and that has a lot of potential to compel (or use as an aspect, either way.)

I was going more for the interpretation that "I run into dangerous situations that others flee from for their good."  I've had problems in games before, even at conventions, where one person basically went "I want to have the spotlight, so you're all going to have to convince my character why he should go risk his neck with the rest of you."  So all of the characters have an Aspect that I can tag saying "this is why you care."

Fireproof: Fire gear will protect for a long time in average interior firefighting conditions. But you need to have it on-this includes SCBA. If you run her as pure mortal then there is no way she can go into fire without it. Otherwise she'd need some supernatural element.  Maybe you can up the stunt to MAX of +2 if she has all her gear, otherwise its a +1 with just one part of the gear OR give her a time limit for the stunt for each scene.

I figure she's just resistant to heat; a two shift stress is basically a mild consequence-level intensity.  So she's the kind of person who doesn't have to bother with more than thin oven mitts. 

The fearless thing... I don't think you need to change it. It can tie into her Trouble aspect.

Indeed.  Double compels for the win!

I'm assuming the scholarship skill refers to being an EMT. If it doesn't I'd consider it.

Pretty much.

Other ideas: add mental toughness (female AND shift leader? Yeah, she has to be tough.)
                   clarify fists?

I'm not going to give the mental toughness powers, but her Presence is high.  And at another's suggestion, I'm swapping the Fists for Weapons--she's handy with a fire axe. 

Other than that she's remarkably similar to another character I have been working on...

 
Oh?  Do tell.                  



[/quote]

[Sanctaphrax]

About Thaumaturgy: Good point. I hadn't thought about the restrictions imposed by the convention format.

About Kristie Hoffman: You really shouldn't let a minor detail of the template mess up a character idea like that. Just say that her father's an elf Sidhe with improved powers and give her Supernatural Speed.

About Landon: sure, Alertness works as well as anything. Fair Fists is a whole lot more respectable than Average.

About the module: Sounds like you won't have any problem making those stunts relevant. I just hope there isn't too much combat, because these guys will have trouble even with dimestore thugs. The geomancer and the crafter are the only ones with any real firepower.

About tanks: I don't see why tanks would have trouble with time and the four of eight system. I still think you need one, because I still think someone will want to play one. Besides, this group could use more muscle.

[bibliophile20]

Alright; I didn't and still don't want to design a specialist that needs to be included, but, yeah, they are a little underpowered in the punching department.  So, making the following changes:

Daren: Bumping Fists to Good and getting rid of Deceit to free up the points; he's blunt and honest as a brick.

Jim: Swapping Burglary to Average and Guns to Good; his first Investigate stunt allows him to loosen up on skills like that.  

Kristie: Getting rid of those two stunts, bumping Inhuman Speed to Supernatural, getting rid of Driving, using the point to bump Fists to Good and changing out Boys Can't Catch Me, But Best Of Luck, which I wasn't very happy with to begin with, to Cannonball Right Hook.  Considering giving her a stunt that either allows her Athletics to complement her Fists, or give a bonus to Fists if she moves at least one zone before attacking.  

Landon: Swapped up the skills mentioned above, considering giving another Fists stunt; any suggestions?

Meri: Considered getting rid of Might to boost Weapons to Fair, but I remembered how much stuff a firefighter carries; Average Might is a given.  Then again, she should be spending her combats setting up Maneuvers with her Presence and Leadership stunts.

Renee: The closest thing the group has to a social tank; probably needs a slightly better stunt mix to make it work.  Suggestions?

Steve: Getting rid of Might, bumping Endurance to Good with the point. Swapping out Rapport for Weapons so he can use that hammer at all.  

Tia: Keeping as is for the moment, although I might give her were-form claws.  

[Sanctaphrax]

Daren: I actually like the lack of Deceit, and a good Fists skill is always a plus. But he didn't really need help, what with his Channeling, his Endurance and his stunts.

Jim: Excellent choice. I wholeheartedly approve. His defenses still suck, but I actually like how that'll force him to be careful.

Kristie: I also like these changes. I mean, what does a girl that fast need a car for anyway? And a stunt that lets her inflict extra stress when she moves before attacking would fit quite well in my opinion. She's already a quite respectable combatant, though, with Fantastic defences, perfect initiative, and Good attacks.

Landon: How about a stunt that lets him inflict +2 stress whenever he invokes an aspect to attack? You could call it Lucky Punch. But before you worry about combat stunts, I recommend you give him a combat-appropriate aspect.

Meri: She can defend herself, but she can't hit back. As you say, she'll spend most of her actions on maneuvers. She could be a pretty capable social combatant with the right stunt, like one that lets you attack with Presence.

Renee: At the moment, her only real social talent is Empathy reading. There's a possibly-broken power in Our World that lets you use Lore as a social and physical defence for a cost of one refresh. That, combined with the Master Of Riddles stunt (which allows social attacks with Scholarship), would make her survivable in physical combat and capable in social combat.

Steve: Good Endurance seems like a good idea to me. He doesn't really need Weapons, though, since Discipline is already the default skill for using enchanted items.

Tia: The best thing you can do for her combat-wise is to increase her Fists skill while she is in animal form. She's already very tough to hurt, but her attacks are only Fair.

[Tsunami]

Regarding the Enchanter

I see some problems with the enchanted items.
Please don't take this the wrong way but it seems to me that you have either somehow fundamentally misunderstood the Enchanted items rules, or are intentionally ignoring them.

I'll comment on the items you made for him, and give some suggestions on how to fix them, if possible. If you wan't any more help, let me know.

Pocketknife: 2 times per session, adds +2 to Craftsmanship
- This item is not possible as such. But you can get a similar effect: have it create an aspect and tag it. That means a 3 shift Maneuver to get the aspect, and trading one shift for another use. The Aspect would be fragile, and so would have to be tagged immediately or it would go away again.
-> Takes up 1 Enchanted Item Slot

WD-50: Potion.  2 units of Strength 2 lubricant; applies temporary aspect of “Lubricated and Loosened” to object.
- Building this one would be the same as with the pocketknife. 3 Shift Maneuver, creating a fragile Aspect. Trading 1 shift of power for another use. Again, the Aspect would only be around for 1 exchange.
-> Takes up 1 Enchanted Item Slot

Duct-Tape: Potion-treated duct-tape.  4 units of Strength 2 duct tape, two slots.
- I assume Duct Tape would be a Block. So, 2 shifts to get to Block:2, trading 2 more shifts to get more uses and we are at Block:2/3 uses. If we add another slot for uses we get to 5 uses. you could shuffle around shifts to get to 4 uses, but would end up with a Block:3. The Block would be around for 1 exchange for each use.
In any case, you don't get to Block:2 /4 Uses.
-> Takes up 1 (Block:2/3 times) or 2 (Block:2/5 times) Enchanted Item Slots

Hammer: Enhanced to have always on Weapon:3
There is no such thing as an "always on" item. Enchanted items always have uses. With Craftsmanship at +4 A Weapon:3 item would have 2 uses, by trading one shift of strength for a second use.
-> Takes up 1 Enchanted Item Slot (Weapon:3/2 uses)

Toolbelt: Always on, grants +1 bonus to Might for carrying limits.
Again: there is no "always on". Items have uses. Also, items do not add to existing skills, they can either replace a skill roll completely, or add aspects that can be tagged.
-> this item is simply impossible... no slots used *g*

Goggles: Grants the Sight for 1 exchange 4 times per session; the metaphor is material related.
granting powers is sorta complicated, and takes fate points to do. I'd propose to change this item into providing a magical Lore assessment. Item Power would then define the shift strength of the assessment.
Goggles: +4 Lore Assessment, 1 time per session.
-> The original version is simply not possible, the new version would take up 1 Slot.