Author Topic: Opinions about Interesting Plot  (Read 3203 times)

Offline Liger

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Opinions about Interesting Plot
« on: May 21, 2010, 05:30:04 AM »
So I wanted some opinions on this idea for a story.  I'll try to keep it short and obscure so it doesn't break any rules.  The story is set in the current U.S. and there is currently a shadow war being fought by the 7 elemental clans.  Each clan can manipulate one element (water, wind, fire, earth, light, shadow, or time).  The main story is focus around a young man who getts caught up in the middle of it, after his parents are killed.  And yes I know that the parents thing is a bit cliche.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2010, 07:18:06 AM by Liger »

Offline Aakaakaak

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2010, 12:44:43 PM »
If it wasn't for "time" that would sound like a Magic: The Gathering novel....or Avatar. It sounds like a workable start....are you sure you want one clan to be time though? It can get awful sticky.

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Offline svb1972

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2010, 12:47:23 PM »
Why does the Clan in charge of Time not just crush and rule?
Would be my question.
Being able to See in Time, to manipulate Time is one of the most powerful abilities and can easily lead you into literary trouble as your readers go.

But, why didn't he just stop time, kill everyone, and start time again.  or.. wait, they can go back in time? How do they ever lose? Or.. Uh What that's a total paradox what the hell.


Offline Huginn

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2010, 01:37:34 PM »
I agree, messing with time can be sticky. If you use time I'd recommend putting some limits on the peoples' abilities, such as only being able to slow time around them in order to make them appear fast (think the Matrix bullet dodging scene). Traveling through it or stopping it altogether just makes for too many "Why didn't they..." scenarios such as the ones listed by svb.

That or have some dire consequences for using their abilities.

Offline the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2010, 03:20:00 PM »
I agree, messing with time can be sticky. If you use time I'd recommend putting some limits on the peoples' abilities, such as only being able to slow time around them in order to make them appear fast (think the Matrix bullet dodging scene). Traveling through it or stopping it altogether just makes for too many "Why didn't they..." scenarios such as the ones listed by svb.

They're playing with all the other clans for their own petty amusement, of course.
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Offline Liger

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2010, 05:11:40 PM »
Yeah, I would agree that Time is a bit tricky to work with.  However, the reason they don't go on a rampage is because part of what kicked off the shadow war was a major preemptive attack on the time clan.  This left the clan all but destroyed with the few remaining members left in hiding.  This happened years ago, so one one is really sure if any of the Time bloodline remains at all.  Furthermore, since time control is so powerful I put the most restrictions on it.  First of all, only the most experienced and powerful members of the Time clan were able to look into the future at all, however since the future is always changing based on people's free will anything that is too far in the future would be pretty much unknown, since it could change.  Therefore, most members of this clan could only slow the time around them a bit, so if they were in a fight they could move or respond quicker, and so on.  However doing this for extended periods of time would cause exhaustion and even death.  They can also look and see events that have already happened.  But once again using any of the elemental magics for extended periods of time would be incredibly taxing on the user.

Offline svb1972

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2010, 05:53:08 PM »
See

I have a problem with the concept of people who have access to Seers being ambushed and nearly wiped out to a man.  This does not work, unless they let it happen for a reason.  And yes, they can't see terribly far.  But the closer it gets to the moment, the easier it becomes.  Also, if they look far into the future and see 50 different futures, 40 of which involve them being ambushed.  Or even if it' just 12.  That's still a significant chance, and you take precautions.

also, if most of the members of the clan can slow time around them.  Basically giving them superspeed/reaction.  That is a formidable weapon in combat.  If all the clans got together to do this premptive strike, perhaps, but really they should have seen it coming and done something.  Unless they did see it coming, and saw that it was necessary for them to allow it, so that something more dangerous than the other Clans would think they were dead too.   And being able to go back and see events that have already happened is hugely powerful.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2010, 08:42:09 PM by svb1972 »

Offline Liger

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2010, 08:09:05 PM »
True enough, its still a work in progress and I haven't quite figured out all of the odds and ends.  I just wanted your guys opinions on it. :)  I have a possible idea on how to address the issue of the clan getting attacked when they could see it coming.  It mainly deals with their power source being weakened, but like I said its still a work in progress.  So I don't want to go too far into detail without sorting out some of the problems. 

Besides the whole Time clan issue was there anything else that occured to you guys?
« Last Edit: May 21, 2010, 08:19:46 PM by Liger »

Offline Aakaakaak

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2010, 08:21:26 PM »
How do you preempt masters of time? You would only need one to go back and warn the others.
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" - Clarke
"Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology." - Niven
"Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced." - Neurovore
"Sufficiently advanced technology my ass" - Dresden

Offline the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2010, 08:37:15 PM »
How do you preempt masters of time? You would only need one to go back and warn the others.

Overwrite their grandmothers.
Mildly OCD. Please do not troll.

"What do you mean, Lawful Silly isn't a valid alignment?"

kittensgame, Sandcastle Builder, Homestuck, Welcome to Night Vale, Civ III, lots of print genre SF, and old-school SATT gaming if I had the time.  Also Pandemic Legacy is the best game ever.

Offline svb1972

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Re: Opinions about Interesting Plot
« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2010, 08:44:41 PM »
Other than time?
No I think that the elemental ninja clans is cool :)
A modern day war being fought right under the noses of everyone.
Although, I would hope they have a reason for all being at war.

It seems like it can be cool, and the water, wind, fire, earth, light, shadow possible powers could be cool.