These are %@#!ing hilarious!

[LizW65]

http://misssnark.blogspot.com/2006/01/crapometer-got-you-feeling-bruised-and.html

Apparently they're taken from actual submissions to Issac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine.  Enjoy!
-Liz

[Dom]

OMG.  <3

Weston was known for the firm but genital hold he had on his men. It was one of the reasons he was chosen for this mission over six other equally qualified men.

Miles looked deep into those clear blue eyes who's debts were infinite.

Yeah, that's what genetic surgery does to ya - lots of debts!

::is dying of laughter::

[Donna]

Instinctively, without thinking about it, he grabbed the woman and hugged her and then gave her breasts a couple of playful pinches. "Commander please," she said as she blushed and began yodeling.

This is why Swiss erotic fiction never found a market.

[Wolfie]

Whaha, I love this one:

On Nov. 29, 2083 the object wold hit. It's antimatter would interact with ordinary matter on Earth and there would be an explosion with the incredible force of 1000 megatons. New York City is doomed!

Quickly, get out of NY. We'll be save....right? 

Ye God's I'm a geek sometimes.

[CarolM]

Whaha, I love this one:

On Nov. 29, 2083 the object wold hit. It's antimatter would interact with ordinary matter on Earth and there would be an explosion with the incredible force of 1000 megatons. New York City is doomed!

Quickly, get out of NY. We'll be save....right? 

Ye God's I'm a geek sometimes.

I think I can safely say I'll be safe from the explosion, as I will either be 131 years old or the more likely option already dead. The chances for my children or their children in England might not be so good though. The equivalent of a nuclear winter seems likely. Might counteract the global warming perhaps? 

[Wolfie]

Whaha, I love this one:

On Nov. 29, 2083 the object wold hit. It's antimatter would interact with ordinary matter on Earth and there would be an explosion with the incredible force of 1000 megatons. New York City is doomed!

Quickly, get out of NY. We'll be save....right? 

Ye God's I'm a geek sometimes.

I think I can safely say I'll be safe from the explosion, as I will either be 131 years old or the more likely option already dead. The chances for my children or their children in England might not be so good though. The equivalent of a nuclear winter seems likely. Might counteract the global warming perhaps? 

I'm not quite sure about this, but isn't a thousand megatons in a single spot about enough to detroy earth or at least send is spinning out of orbit?

[CarolM]

Whaha, I love this one:

On Nov. 29, 2083 the object wold hit. It's antimatter would interact with ordinary matter on Earth and there would be an explosion with the incredible force of 1000 megatons. New York City is doomed!

Quickly, get out of NY. We'll be save....right? 

Ye God's I'm a geek sometimes.

I think I can safely say I'll be safe from the explosion, as I will either be 131 years old or the more likely option already dead. The chances for my children or their children in England might not be so good though. The equivalent of a nuclear winter seems likely. Might counteract the global warming perhaps? 

I'm not quite sure about this, but isn't a thousand megatons in a single spot about enough to detroy earth or at least send is spinning out of orbit?

Are we debating which would be a better or more likely way for the World to end here? (Not with a Bang, but a Whimper?) Do you know of someone or something that has produced enough anti matter to produce such an explosion? If so then I'll worry more about how it would kill us all. Totally blown to smithereens or at the least losing the atmosphere. I only calculate the odds if I'm seriously contemplating the destruction of Life as we know it (Jim).

[Wolfie]

On Nov. 29, 2083 the object wold hit. It's antimatter would interact with ordinary matter on Earth and there would be an explosion with the incredible force of 1000 megatons. New York City is doomed!

Actually I was more thinking along the lines of... Just New York City??? That kind of blast would wipe out the rest of the world as well. The last addition of "New York city was doomed" seems a bit silly.  Nobody ever said writing was easy.

[Kali]

I couldn't get past the sphere containing antimatter.  The rest of it was just gravy on top of that steaming pile of literary poo.

[Paige]

...Breathing a sigh of relief....
None of them were mine. ~Whew!~