On the Utter Drek we write and Show verus Tell

[Paynesgrey]

Caught myself falling into the "Tell Instead of Show" trap just now.  Current project is first person, and the character's narration is on the zesty, chattish sort of thing.  Problem is, I realized that I've been neglecting everyone else's dialogue.  So my narrator is telling rather than showing, so to speak.  I couldn't put my finger on what my most recent section was lacking until just now. 

[LDWriter2]

Caught myself falling into the "Tell Instead of Show" trap just now.  Current project is first person, and the character's narration is on the zesty, chattish sort of thing.  Problem is, I realized that I've been neglecting everyone else's dialogue.  So my narrator is telling rather than showing, so to speak.  I couldn't put my finger on what my most recent section was lacking until just now.

Hmm, Here is a link to a discussion on this subject on another forum. The first post is by a Sam Hidaka, the first note on the page. He is a pro editor and I believe a writer so he has some experience with this. This is a very short discussion of Tell and Show.

 I tried to link it to just his post but evidently I can't but you should be able to read it without having to register for that forum.

http://forum.writersofthefuture.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=1165&start=30#p36231

[Paynesgrey]

I had no trouble reading them.  Thanks for the link.  I'm going to have to give this a serious read tomorrow when I've got more brain cells lined up.  What I really realized I was doing was missing the opportunity to bring secondary characters to life by "talking about the conversation rather than actually portraying the conversation with the narrator's reactions mixed in.  I couldn't figure out why the secondary character didn't feel like she mattered, and I realized it was because I wasn't letting her speak directly to the main character.  Silliest damn thing to do, but it serves as a handy reminder that if we want our secondary characters to engage the reader, we have to let them speak rather than just telling about what they said. 

On the upside, I'm following Jim's approach... write lean, and then I go back and add more atmospheric detail and description, more secondary dialogue, etc.  And it's a big old reminder of just how much I've got to learn. 

[The Deposed King]

You can do it PG.  I am a firm believer in the fact that if you just do and keep doing it again and again, you will succeed.

Your head will become a hammer that eventually smashes through the wall.


The Deposed King

[Paynesgrey]

Yup.  Been chugging along happily the last couple days.  Just glad I spotted some things that just didn't sing before I tried sending it out to my betas, I know what parts didn't work, I figured out why, and I know how to fix 'em.  And that's turning out to be fun as well I find. 

As always, I gotta say "thanks for the encouraging words."