The Elementals The Coming of the Storms

[tonto05]

Hey guys I'm trying to start my first book. Its going to be a series of 6 books. The story is there are 5 elements. Storm, Air, Fire, Earth, and Water. For each element there is one Elemental, a person who can control all aspects of the Element. There will be one book for each element and one final book where all 5 Elementals will join together to fight one final battle. I have 5 chapters so far I just want everyones opinion, no matter how brutally honest they may be. I need to know what to change or add. I would really LOVE it if Jim happened to give his opinion too lol. Chapters to be posted soon

[tonto05]

February 28th, 1995
A tall man in his forties wearing a long tan leather trench coat is walking down Mountain View Street with a basket in one hand and an umbrella in the other.  A light rain is falling but the thunder is rumbling loud enough that the windows of the houses are shaking. Lightning streaks across the dark sky illuminating the city of Altadena as well as the mid day sun. The weather was a fluke, the entire day had been calm and sunny. And now the thunder storm came from nowhere as if it was following the tall dark stranger.
He passes a tall victorian house and arrives at his destination. The wrought iron gate was tall, over 7 feet, and was made not to keep intruders out but to keep the occupants inside safe.
The building was old. One hundred and seven years old to be exact. It was founded as an orphanage but now it provided assistance to everyone from domestic violence victims to child foster care. The gate was always locked after hours and seeing as how it was 11:30 at night it should have been locked tight but as the stranger grabbed the handle to the gate it swung open as freely as if it was broad daylight. He walked up the sidewalk to the doorstep and gently set the basket down under the awning out of the rain. A small baby with black hair and blue eyes looked up at his father with an innocent smile. The man straightened and turned to walk back down sidewalk. He closed the gate behind him and the lock clicked shut. As he walked down the street back from the way he had come. The storm seemed to follow him out of the county of Los Angeles.
As he disappeared on the horizon a final streak of lightning and clash of thunder ran through the sky. The baby in the basket started crying as a woman opened the door. She looked down at the boy and reached to pick him up. As her skin brushed his a small pop of static electricity hit her hand. Startled she picked up the basket with him still in it and took him inside....

[tonto05]

I could see him up ahead in the darkness. He was walking away from me.
"Hey!" My voice echoed through the darkness. The man in the trench coat kept walking away like he didn't even hear me. I sprinted towards him, my shoes making a slapping echo with every step. I was gaining ground on the stranger when he turned and faced me. His cold grey steely eyes seemed to pierce through me. I could hear several noises now, my heart thumping against my chest, my labored breathing, and a woman's voice that kept calling my name.
"Johnny" I looked around and didn't see the woman.
"JOHNNY!" I woke with a start, an alarm buzzing on the night stand. I slapped the off button and rolled over. This was not a day I wanted to live through. "Johnny!" Maria was beating on the door now. "Get up! You should've been up an hour ago!"
"I'm up, I'm up. Jeez!" I heard the caretakers footsteps go down the hall. Maria was a nice enough lady, until you slept late that is. Today was supposedly a big day for me. I was getting adopted...... again. This was going to be the fifth family to try their luck with me. Its not my fault that every family that adopts me decides I'm to strange to keep around. Although strange things did tend to happen around me. I never knew how or why they happened but everyone always pointed their finger at me. I honestly had no idea how the parrot got fried. Sure I was the only one around and he was eating from my hand when it happened, but I didn't make it happen.
That's the last strange thing that happened. Mr. Newsome walked in and seen me standing at the birdcage and the bird laying on its back smoking. The vet said it was as if the parrot had stuck its beak in a power outlet.
There is always strange incidents around me, and now the Caines were going to try their luck with me. Maybe they won't have a goldfish pond like the Kimbrough family did. I was outside playing one day and I was hot so I splashed some water from the fish pond on my face. After the water dripped from my eyes I seen every one of Mrs. Kimbrough's goldfish floating belly up. At least that one wasn't blamed on me. The grounds keeper said the pump had shorted out and electrocuted all the fish. I knew somehow though that it was my fault. I hated water. In fact the most water I would allow myself in was the shower. We have a huge swimming pool in the courtyard here at the orphanage but I've never swam in it. I would hate to look up after diving in and seeing thirty people floating belly up around me.
I got up out of bed and looked over at my roommates bed. It was empty and had already been made up. For a deaf boy sam can always manage to get up on time. A feat I never can seem to accomplish, even with an alarm clock in my ear. Sam has been my roommate for as long as I can remember. He was one of the first deaf children Five Acres had taken in. He's been here as long as I have, which was now around fifteen and a half years.
Sam is incredibly smart, loves to read, but mostly stays to himself. I learned a little sign language so I could carry on a small conversation with him and I always kept a notebook handy so I could write notes when it came to words I didn't know. He's also an amazing artist. In fact that's what he spend most of his time doing. He's either in the art room painting a new masterpiece that would put Michelangelo to shame, or laying on his bed with a sketch pad drawing the visions in his head that he wants everyone to see. He hung a pretty detailed sketch of me over the headboard of my bed. He had done it one morning as I was over sleeping. The detail was amazing, he even got the drop of drool coming out of the corner of my mouth.
I gathered my best clothes and went to take a shower. I need to look respectable for the new family, or so Maria says. After I got cleaned and I'm back in my room dressing up Sam comes in.
Sam is a pale boy with blonde hair and a face full of freckles. We are roughly the same size. Tall and lanky. We are by no means athletic. He doesn't try sports after a kid screamed at him to get out of the way and Sam being deaf didn't hear and got hit on the head with a basketball. As for myself I just plain suck at sports. We did enjoy watching the intramural baseball games in the courtyard during the spring though.
"Are you leaving?" He signed. I nodded yes and pulled out my notepad.
"A new family is adopting me today" he looked at me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "Don't worry I'll still write, and Maria says that I will still be attending New Langston Hughes so we will still see each other there."
Sam nodded and started talking with his hands again, "Good because you will need help with your homework." We both laughed.
"And keep in mind," I wrote on my scrap paper, "the longest a family has been able to put up with me is four weeks, so I'll be back here in no time."
"Johnathan Sparks!" Maria was calling me from downstairs. I hated when she used my full name, it usually meant I was in trouble, now it meant that the Caines were here
I signed to Sam that it was time for me to leave. He signed back "Goodbye Sparky." He gave me a hug and I grabbed my bags and headed down the stairs to meet my new family.

[tonto05]

Maria was standing in the doorway that lead to the courtyard. She was wearing a flowered dress that went really well with her tanned skin and long black hair, really beautiful to be thirty something. She waved her hand towards the door motioning me outside.
As I entered the courtyard I could see a couple standing in the middle of the five acre plot. They looked like tourists. He was in an expensive business looking business suit. He had blonde hair, and was wearing some sporty looking sun glasses. She was in a solid black dress that came to just below her knees and had dirty blonde hair that fell to just below her shoulders. She had sunglasses on that looked way to big for her eyes. The couple just stood there like they were in awe of the place. From the outside Five Acres looks like a giant school, so it gets a lot of surprised looks when visitors see its mostly a giant play ground.
To my left kids were racing back and forth along the length of the swimming pool. On my right some of the younger kids were starting a game of hide-and-seek. Up ahead at the other end of the courtyard the parents were in the middle of a softball game.
The couple did a three-sixty look around and stopped when the turned to me. Maria nudged me in the back and whispered so only I would hear "Go say hi dodo brain."
I stepped towards them as Maria introduced us "Johnny, this is David and Angela Caine." David extended his hand to me offering a hand shake. I just stared at it until Maria nudged me again. I stuck my hand out and David reached to shake it. When he came within a quarter of an inch to my hand a blue spark arced from my hand to his like a bolt of static electricity. It always happens when I'm angry or nervous. I didn't get the nickname Sparky for nothing. Its worse when I get angry. Maria says I have a temper equal to a lightning storm. Sam has told me I glow in my sleep. That's always on a night when I dream of the tall dark stranger.
David jerked his hand away rubbing the spot on his palm where he got popped. "I'm sorry," I said just looking at the ground, "I must be a little nervous."
Angela let out a small laugh. "Don't feel bad we are nervous too." She gave me a sincere smile as david pulled his sunglasses off and slipped them in his pocket. He reached down to pick up my suitcase. Now that I could see them, his eyes were a smokey grey color. My thoughts went back to my dreams and the strange man. This guy didn't match though. He was pale skinned not the tall and dark like the man in my dreams. But his eyes were still a bit unsettling. Angela cleared her throat to put a break in the awkward silence. David glanced at her and said "I guess we should get going." and he headed through the building and out the front door. Angela trailed just a few steps behind him. Maria put her hand on my shoulder and steered me to follow them. "Be nice to these people Sparky. They're a really nice couple, just give it time and they will open up to you." I gave her a half hearted smile. At least she was trying to help me feel better. We walked out the front door as Angela was sitting down in the passenger seat and David was closing the trunk lid. He stepped to the side of the car and opened the rear passenger door for me. Probably didn't want my fingerprints on his shiny new cadillac I thought to myself. Although it was a really beautiful car. Solid black, looked like it had just rolled off the assembly line. I even caught a whiff of the new car smell in the light summer breeze. I climbed in and buckled my seat belt and waved at Angela. David got in, started the car and we were off.
As we headed down the highway Angela turned around in her seat to look at me and asked, " So Johnny, where would you like to spend the rest of your summer?" I blinked just looking at her dumbfounded. I had never really had a vacation. A group of the adults at the orphanage had raised enough money one time to take all of the kids to the Grand Canyon for a weekend. That had been the furthest away from home I had ever been. "We will take you anywhere in the world you would like to go." She said noting the look of shock on my face. I had always wanted to travel the world but now that I could pick anywhere to go I felt lost. I guess the top place on my list had always been New Zealand. Mainly because that's where Lord of the Rings was filmed. It was my favorite book and movie of all time, so I thought I would try my luck.
"Could we go to New Zealand?" Angela pulled her sunglasses off and eyed me over, looking to see if I was serious I guess. Her eyes were the same smokey grey color of her husbands. They had the look of age and wisdom in them which didn't really fit the age of the rest of her body.
"If New Zealand is where you want to go then that's where we will go." Wow I thought to myself. I had heard rumors that this family was loaded, but to not bat an eye at loading up and flying halfway around the world at the whim of a kid, that was more money than they knew what to do with.
She turned around and sat back down in her seat as David reached and turned the radio on. Some guy was singing something about his IPod being stuck on replay. This wasn't really the kind of music I liked. I listened to older music that was made with actual instruments instead of computers. David, as if reading my mind, hit the seek button and told me, "Yell when you hear music that you like." The radio stopped on a song with a beautiful flute intro and a country rhythm  to the lyrics. I motioned for him to stop. The band was one that I listened to a lot. "Always something greener on the other side of that hill." The singers voice came from the speakers. David drummed his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel and his lips moved with the words to the song. As the chorus started and he "heard it in a love song" I saw David's hands tighten on the steering wheel as he shouted "Hold on!"
Next thing I know I see a blinding red flash and feel a searing heat. The front of the car comes to a grinding halt as the rear comes up off the pavement. I shut my eyes and all of a sudden I feel like I'm flying. I open one eye as I crash into the grass. I tumble a bit and come to a stop. I stand, amazed at the fact that I'm able to, and look back towards the car. The wreckage is now just a giant fireball, the front was smashed flat as if a giant fist came down on it and stopped the car where it sat. I look down at the ground where I'm standing and see two black strips that I realize had once been my seat belt. Behind me I find a chunk of metal that looks like it had come from the roof of the car. As I look more closely I notice a light blue sphere surrounding me. As the tall blades of grass blow in the breeze against my blue bubble electricity sparks pop and crack onto the grass. I look back to the car thinking that this family didn't last near as long as the last one when another blinding red glow hits me from behind. I fly towards the car and land beside a post that was once a road sign. I stand back up a little dazed and look back to the source of the red light and see a woman. At least I thought it was a woman, she had the figure of a woman but she was glowing red. As she started walking towards me I realized she was actually made of rock. It put me in mind of a female version of The Thing from the Fantastic 4. Wherever there were cracks between the rocks glowed red like lava. She held a hand up and a red fireball appeared in her palm. She took a pose like a major league baseball pitcher on the mound and hurled the fireball at my face. I ducked just in time for it to skim the top of my blue bubble and fly off into the wild blue. That seemed to just make her mad. She started running towards me, faster than I had ever seen a normal person run. I grabbed the closest thing I could reach and came up with the sign post. As my grip tightened around it the electric sphere disappeared from around me and the post lit up like a light saber. When the she-devil got within swinging distance I swung the post as hard as I could and caught the creature below the right armpit and sliced down to her hip. Electricity arced across her entire body. She freezes with a look of shock (no pun intended) on her face and let's out a shrill scream as the flames go out and she turns to stone. When all the glow was gone from the torch girls body it collapses into a pile of rubble. I drop the sign post and look at the car burning to my left about ten feet away. It was now totally engulfed in an inferno. There was no way my new family could have survived. Suddenly weariness attacked me and I felt like I hadn't slept in weeks. I collapsed from exhaustion on the road side.

[tonto05]

I hate dreams. Especially the weird ones. You know what I mean, like the ones where you've got a light saber and you're fighting the Emperor while some tall guy in a trench coat is watching you with those eerie grey eyes. Then when the Emperor shocks you it wakes you up and you lay there and wonder "what the heck?"
Or am I the only one who has that kind of dream?
I woke up feeling dizzy. Either from the exhaustion or the slide down the tunnel in Cloud City. I'm going to go with exhaustion. I looked around at my surroundings. I was on an army cot in what looked like a small hut that you would see in a National Geographic magazine. I half expected a half naked man to walk in with white paint all over his body grunting something about how to cook me in a language that I didn't understand. Instead Angela came in wearing khakis and a button up shirt like you'd see the guy in the outback wearing. She had a passion fruit flower in her hair. No, I'm not gay before you say anything, its just once you've seen a flower like that you don't forget what it is or what it looks like. She looked down at me and said "It's about time you woke up. You've been out for nearly two days." I blink and look around at the hut. There was nothing on the walls, no clock, calender, picture or anything. I look at my wrist where my watch should've been but it wasn't there. Then I realized that I was completely naked under the covers. I felt my face burning red. "Don't worry. I'm not the one who stripped you down, David is, so I didn't see anything." She said laughing at my blood red face.
"Where are we?" I asked while trying to get over the embarrassment.
"Brazil. I know its not New Zealand but we had to make a stop here with your condition. At least now its starting to look better." She had a look of relief on her face.
Memories started flooding back into my head. The rock girl, thing, whatever it was. The sign post sword I had used to kill it. Everything. "What happened back there? How did I do that? How did you guys live? What was that thing?" I looked at her waiting on answers.
"Hold on there Sparky, one question at a time. First off we was attacked by an Atronach. I'm guessing your power awakened in the danger. We survived much the same way that you did, David was knocked unconscious and I was pinned in the car. I believe that answers them all, right?" She looked at me with a smirk. She could tell that I only had more questions, not answers.
"The bubble, or shield, whatever it was. How did I do that? And what about the sign post?"
She just shook her head. "I answered that one already, your power was awakened." She stared at me as if that was supposed to explain everything.
The door opened and David walked in dressed in a clean suit with the sunglasses on acting as if nothing had happened. Now that I looked at him closely he had that arrogance about him that only the really rich people have because they know that money can buy them whatever they want, no matter the price. Before the door closed I could here men outside talking in a language I didn't understand.
I looked from David to Angela and asked aloud so both of them could hear "what is happening to me? Why does she keep telling me my power is awake? What is she talking about?"
David smiled and grabbed a short wooden stool that stood at the end of the bed and sat down. He looked thoughtfully at the thatched roof of the hut as if wondering where to begin. "First off Johnathan, we are working on finding out who your parents are. They are the reason you are what you are."
"And what is that exactly?"
"You're one of the Elementals, humans that can control a single element. There are five elements all together. You control lightning, and then there's fire, water, air, and earth. Yours is the strongest of the five."
"Wait. So you're saying I can control lightning?"
"Well in a sense. You need to master it first. You have already controlled it twice, first with your shield and second with the sword. Once you master it you will be able to shoot lightning from your fingertips, but it takes a lot of training."
"How do my parents fit into all of this?" My curiosity was growing now.
"They are the ones that passed their power on to you. In the face of danger it awakened to come to your aid. I'm sure you'll find that no matter how hard you try right now you could shock me no worse than a pop of static electricity. This camp that we are at now will help you with your training. There are no other lightning Elementals left. Just teachers who have the job of teaching you how to control yourself."
"Wait I thought you guys could use the power too? Angela said that you two survived the same way I did."
"And we did. You put a bubble around both of us. We are just the Searchers. Our job was to find you and bring you here to be trained."
"So you guys didn't really adopt me?" Just when I thought I had a family turns out they was faking it.
"Sparky," Angela spoke now, "we're not even married. David is my brother. But we are still family. Everyone in this camp is considered a family and now you are part of it."
I stared in disbelief. Now that she said it I could see the resemblance between the two. "So what kind of training do I go through?"
"I thought you would never ask." David said smiling as he got up. "Here," he tossed some clothes on my bed, "get dressed and come out. Its almost supper time." And with that David and Angela walked out the door.
I got up and threw my clothes on hurriedly not even realizing till after I got it on that my shirt was backwards. I turned it around and put my shoes on and ran to the door. When I opened it outside was a village. Over a dozen tiny huts with thatched roofs. Two small children, a boy and a girl, ran by me. The girl screaming as the boy was chasing her. The huts were lined up six in front of me and six opposite the others on the side I was standing on. To my right at the end of the rows of huts was a giant pavilion with tables underneath. To my left was a hut twice the size as all the others and David and Angela were headed inside. I took off running towards the hut when my feet came out from under me and I landed face first in the mud. I jumped up to hear the village people laughing at me. No none of them had a hard hat or a police uniform on. I looked around to see what had tripped me and found a small thin rope at my feet. I followed the rope with my eyes and found an old toothless man sitting with the end in his hand. He looked like he was in his nineties, with smokey grey hair and grey eyes. He was like all the people living in the village, having really dark skin, yet as old as he looked his face was barely wrinkled. He was practically rolling with laughter at the trick he had just pulled on me.
I hesitated, contemplating walking over to the old man and tying him up with his piece of rope, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked behind me to find David standing there. He shook his head and motioned for me to follow him to the big hut. The old man stopped laughing suddenly and jumped straight up to his feet. He started speaking gibberish in a language I didn't understand. All of the villagers quit laughing and look straight at me. They slowly moved away from me as David steered me to the hut where Angela was waiting by the door. "What was he screaming?" I asked David. He shook his head, "Not now, wait till we're inside."
We reached the door and Angela held it open for me. I stepped inside and turned around to look at David.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"What did he say?" My voice was getting louder now.
"He was giving you your name. He said you are to be called 'The Bringer of Storms.'"

[tonto05]

"So what does that mean?" I asked looking from David to Angela.
"It means that you will either be the death of us all, or our hero." I jumped from surprise at the voice behind me and turned around to find a young boy behind me. He was a ghostly white child. About nine years old and shaved completely bald. He was wearing a brown leather loin cloth and a vest made from the same material. A dainty silver crown was on top of his head. The front of the crown had a lightning bolt made from a deep blue gem. Probably Aquamarine. I know I'm a sucker for useless knowledge, but it was the stone that fit. Legends say that Aquamarine can endow the wearer with foresight, courage, and happiness. It is said to increase intelligence and make one youthful. Although I could not figure out any reason why this little boy would be wearing it. His eyes were the same grey as the man from my dream. He gave me a once over, looked me in the eyes and asked, "So when was the last dream you had about your father?"
"How did you? Wait what do you mean, my father?" I turned to my foster parents, "What is he talking about?!" I asked practically screaming.
The boy cleared his throat and I turned to him. He pointed to a small leather chair that looked completely out of place with its surroundings. His throne maybe? "Take a seat and I will answer any questions you have." I sat down putting myself nearly eye level with the child. "Now ask away and I will answer them to the best of my abilities."
"Who are you?"
"My name is J'aret." He pronounced it like Jared. "I am the ruler of this village. And before you ask, no, I'm not to young. My knowledge of the Storms surpass anyone alive."
"Why is it that nearly everyone I come into contact with here lately has grey eyes?" I asked waving my hand from him to David and Angela."
The king just laughed and pointed to a mirror. A man stepped out from the shadows, a servant supposedly, and took the mirror from the wall. He brought it in front of me. I looked at the king confused and he just motioned to the mirror. I looked at my reflection and saw my surprised face staring back. My eyes had turned a smokey grey color. Almost the color of a dark storm cloud on the horizon. " What happened? Why did my eyes change color?" I couldn't look away from the mirror.
"Your powers have awakened." He looked at me as if that should have been the only answer I needed.
"So I'm some kind of lightning dude that dreams about a father he doesn't remember?" I looked at the faces staring back at me.
"Well if you want a simple watered down version, then yes that's you." J'aret motioned for the servant to hang the mirror back up. After he was finished he melted into the shadows waiting for his masters next call.
"Why am I dreaming about my father? I never knew him.  I don't even know what he looks like."
"That's not entirely true. You know what he looks like from your dreams. As to why he is creeping into your dreams. The only thing we can figure is a reason is the fact that his power is getting weak and he wants to find you before he dies. There can only be one Elemental for each element at any given time."
"Wait. So my father is dying because of me? What about you people? You all have grey eyes. Doesn't that mean your power has awakened too?"
"We all have certain parts of the Element we can control. David and Angela can only control enough to use for protection. I can use my part of the Element to read the coming storms and peoples thoughts. You will be able to control all aspects of the Storms when you are fully trained."
"Why me? Why will I be able to control them all?" I asked, just getting more confused.
"Because your father is the Storm Elemental. That is how he can get into your dreams. Once he dies you will take over his power." Thunder rolled in the distance. J'aret looked toward the west in the direction of the sound and lowered his head. "Something is coming, and he is coming for you." He pointed a finger at me.
"So are we in danger?" Angela asked.
"Johnny is, you all must leave now. His father is coming." J'aret said with a note of panic in his voice. I looked up when he said that.
"Why do I have to leave? I thought my father was looking for me before he dies?"
"He is Johnny, but he is going to kill you, that is why you must leave. If he kills you he will stay alive. Immortal even. That's a benefit of being an Elemental, you can't die without a child to take over the power. So if he kills you he continues to live on as if nothing happened."
"So what do I have to do?" It was hard to take in. My father wants me dead and he doesn't even know me.
"You must run. We will hold him off for as long as we can. David, take him to Persephone. She can train him to block his mind. Johnny you must learn to control your thoughts and block out intruders in your mind. That's how your father will find you. When you have learned that then you can begin the other aspects. After you are totally trained you can face your father." He was pushing me out the door and pulling Angela behind him. "Hurry he will be here in thirty minutes!"
Up ahead I saw a small truck with a big toothless guy driving. David sprinted ahead of us to the drivers window and talked to him before jumping over the side into the bed of the truck. He motioned for us to hurry. The thunder loomed louder above us and I stole a glance to the sky. Dark grey, almost black, clouds were rolling overhead. Behind us lightening streaked from cloud to cloud. Crackling and popping. Suddenly a crash of thunder so loud we had to cover our ears roared across the village and the winds blew a smaller hut over revealing the family huddled inside seeking shelter. We reached the tailgate of the truck and jumped in. David slapped the side twice and the driver took off across the country side. There was an airstrip across the plain and a small private jet was rolling out of the hangar. Behind us the clouds formed a wall moving over the village. Older men all gathered around the king and raised their hands towards the sky. Lightening struck one man and he flew backwards landing in a crumpled heap. The rest of the men had blue energy gathered around their hands and were starting to form a shield above the village. Lightening struck at the blue bubble as it grew bigger. We made it to the airstrip and David picked me up and jumped out of the still rolling pickup. He ran to the plane as the engines were starting. We got inside and he sat me down in a seat and dashed to the cockpit to tell the pilots to take off. As the plane started rolling Angela jumped in and pulled the door shut. Out the window I could see the Storm attacking the small shielded village. On the outside edge of the shield looking towards the airstrip stood a man in a long leather trench coat.

[jeno]

Oh, dude, be careful. Don't repost everything you have to a public internet forum - there's a bunch of sticky issues involved, even if you only ever post five chapters.

[tonto05]

5 is all I'm posting
I've got what I've wrote so far copywrited so nobody can steal it but I do know to be careful. I'm just wanting opinions on how what I have posted is so far.

[svb1972]

Actually re-read the rules for posting on the forum.
You're not allowed to post original ideas on the forum.  Ever.  You are allowed to post links though.

http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/index.php/topic,15778.0.html

We've had a sudden rash of people posting their original artistic works in this forum. Due to legalities (this is Jim's official board), this is not allowed. If you guys want to start another board (we used to do that) and have folks post stuff there, that's fine! It just can't be here.

We understand that the type of folks that would come to an author's board are going to be of a creative nature.
However, for everyone's safety, there's a rule about no story ideas.
The reason is simple: If Jim happens to see something he was planning to do on these boards, he can no longer do it, because he can't prove he didn't get the idea from the poster.*
This also extends to story ideas outside of what Jim normally writes, as not only could certain elements be lifted from on genre to another, but after Alera, Jim will be turning to a new series, and we don't know the genre as yet.

Besides, it's dangerous for you, the author, to post your ideas in a public forum where others to could steal them. Remember, more people come in here than posters....


*This does not extend to logical outcomes of situations already published, or no one could discuss the books

[meg_evonne]

ditto everyone else's concerns.  

But on the ease of reading side, I see all that dark space and cringe.  The only way I could read it would be to cut and paste and you really don't want to encourage that!  LOL  If you are going to break the rules and have someone read it, I'd separate your paragraphs at least.

There are threads you can search here in the forum with excellent discussions of author's rights.  C.T.Adams even contributed.  You can't protect your ideas--and with a first draft that is all you really have. A first (through 25th :-) or more) draft is a disastrous thing and so far away from publication standards that any rights you think you have are non-existent.

Caution here.