I can do whatever I want with it! I can include all the random pieces of information I adore, without predjudice!

and I simply love it.

wicked cool idea!!!
now...please don't hate me. 
The first paragraph...nice opening sentence. The problem in the beginning, I think, is so much information in only three sentences. I had to go back and re-read it before I could put all the facts in order. Actually, as far as I could see, that was your main problem. You can be patient with your information....the most important (and this is perhaps totally wrong of me) information seems to be who Caleb is, what he does, and his contemplation of what is to come. The beginning, where you say "death is only the beggining" and talk about Bevon and Bualla and the War..this seems interesting, but you just suddenly drop it. If that information is really important, I would suggest either using it to lead into Caleb's contempation of the small town or take it out from the begging and indroduce it later at a time you can devote specifically to that.
Oh...should the tapestry be capitalized? I just noticed you capitalized the Weave, and then used tapestry to further explain the "greater currents and events".
Yeah....and what I said before: i think you should just be patient with your information. Don't rush to include everything as soon as possible. It can confuse, and sometimes even bore, the reader.
All in all though...I'm really curious as to what the actual story is about! Caleb seems like a cool character, and the whole idea seems neat.
I hope I helped a little...
Good Luck!!

I'm probably completely useless, but I'm willing to try and help

My real name sucks. So I write under TL Kincaid.

Kincaid? Like on purpose!?!

My name's ridiculously long, and I've never been uber comfortable with my first name, so my plan was to use my mother's maiden name. Then my initails would be E.G. rather then D.D. (which is a plus)

I've got some ideas rolling around in that mysterious noggin of mine....

goooooo

If anyone cares, the current opening lines to my NIPP (Novel In Perpetual Progress) are:

Hammer-shaped warships tore across the throbbing crimson sky, louder than thunder.

Almost loud enough to drown out the screams.  

 

I usually read a few pages in order to judge whether or not I'll give it a chance, but if the first few lines/paragraphs absolutely captivate me, it's likely the rest of the story will too.
Terroja- I am captivably curious! What's your NIPP (mines the same way) about?

(Okay, so captivably is probably invented by moi, but is it not an amazing word?)

I was thinking about it today, and you know, it would be really easy to set up a blog or livejournal as a writers group. Say it was a livejournal....the group could set it up as private, then each story is a journal entry (all the members would be given the password and share the username) then the critiques could be comments. It would be really easy, and more importantly...FREE! I haven't actually participated in a writers group yet, but I thought it might work. I developed the same basic idea last year for my english class (book reviews/other comments on the book...my teacher ended up using the idea for a questions/answer blog that we were graded on).
If anyone's interested, I could set it up?
Or anyone else is perfectly free to just use the idea for themselves.
okay....later then.
-danielle

Dom- ACTUALLY..while my last name starts with D (oh the horror that has been wraught with the initals DD  ) ...it actually means "of the Gardens" in French. Coincidence? I think..so. But amusing nonetheless.  I'll make sure to keep the name foreign for the shelves