BEWARE: SmF spoilers in post!

I am not to urge people to use my shower in the hopes someone else will bathe naked in front of me.
a) Because with my luck, 9 times out of 10 it will be a man.  An extremely unattractive man.
b) And when Molly uses my shower, Charity kicks my ass.

When Thomas asks to borrow my alarm clock, I am not to give him Mouse.
a) Even if his apartment security will ask him, "How's the baby doing?"

I will not allow Ivy to pet Mab's fuzzy kitty.
a) It is also probably not a good idea to convince Mister to make friends with said kitty.  The Za-Lord's guard has enough problems protecting the brownies as it is.

I will not publish my own book of faerie tales; kids like the cute version of the Billy Goats Gruff better.
a) Me too.
b) Except when I get doughnuts.

I am no longer permitted to brandish both Fidelacchias and Amoracchias before the Merlin shouting, "Who's the real Merlin now, sucka?!"

It is not okay to make up imaginary friends to replace Lash.
a) My subconscious is scary enough without giving him more people to chat with.

I am not to go around assaulting random janitors demanding they take their possessed copy of "The Two Towers" back.

It is not okay to go around hexing the cell phones of people chatting on them in their cars.
a) With my luck, I will screw up their cars instead of the phones.
b) And Helsinki, while it might sound funny, is not the secret wizard name for Chicago.

I am not to don glasses and paint a scar upon my forehead.
a) Or tell people I had my name legally changed from Potter to Dresden to avoid the paparazzi.

Didn't know where to post this, but member "tramq0193" just spammed the Book Club board:

http://www.jim-butcher.com/bb/index.php/topic,824.msg14974.html#msg14974

sometimes, though, just saying "said" can make a scene that much more simple to read...always using super fancy words and directions can get confusing and take away from the dialogue..

Oh boy.  Yeah, that's one you want to watch out for.  In school, kids are told to stay away from "said", that it's a boring tag.  As a result, you get these horrible over-verbed fragments that keep distracting the reader from the actual dialogue and making them look at the fancy words.  Most people just read over the word "said" without noticing it anyway, registering it so well that it flows into the story.

That's not saying every second dialogue piece should use "said".  Rule of thumb I use is to use something different when the speaker is inflecting some kind of emotion into their speech.  Examples: murmured, snarled, sobbed, etc.

Another problem people have with dialogue is that they write too much.  Sometimes if you go back and cut out a couple of lines, the fragment reads smoother and more naturally, and the characters usually look like they're interacting better.

Have you ever had a book suck you in from the very first paragraph?  The first sentence?  Some people think beginnings are the most important part of a book--the difference between hooking a reader and letting them get away.

I tend to agree with this idea.  Many books that I've looked at were set right back down just because I didn't like the starting paragraph or it didn't interest me.  But some I've read anyway.  A big example for me was Harry Potter, when it first came out.  I read the first page and found myself yawning, and as a result didn't pick the book up again until the hype began.  Thus, the opposite question: does a poor beginning ruin the reading experience?

I've heard that beginnings are "make or break" for a story, and I just wanted to know what people around here have to say about it.  Jim's books usually begin with fantastic first paragraphs, for example.  Can you think of any others?

One of the things I've noticed as a beginning writer is the temptation of fanfiction--writing stories in a previously created universe.  It seems to be pretty popular among the teen crowd, and especially in the sci-fi/fantasy genre.  I guess it's hard not to want to extend a favorite author's work, or alter it to what you think is the better story.

My question: Is fanfiction helpful to aspiring writers, or does it hurt?  I've heard people vehemently opposed to the very idea, and those who gush over their latest masterpieces.  What do you think?  I suppose my opinion is that originality is always better, but fanfiction will help you in the way that any writing helps you: practice, practice, practice.

(And I know we're supposed to avoid actual fanfiction within earshot of Jim on the forums, but I figured a discussion about its uses couldn't hurt.)

FAQs are wonderful things.  Thanks for taking the time to start them up!

I also tried NaNoWriMo for the first time last year, and got about 2/3 of the way before a semester project for one of my classes threw me out of whack.  But I'm rarin' to go this year.  I'm not sure about the screenwriting, though.  Not really my style.