I am looking between 720 and 750 pages right now.

Hello everyone,

I got this website from one of the back of one of Jim's audio books. I am in Iraq and I have been here since 2006. In my free time I write. So far I have started three different novels which will be the beginning of three different series.

I am posting a rough draft of the prologe from my first book so I can get your opinions on it. Over here there isn't many scifi/fantasy readers so I can not get much from their opinions. They also know me so I fear some bias might be taking place.

Names of people, spells, places, etc may change, however, the story remains the same. This is material has a copyright by me so please ask before sharing it.

I hope you enjoy it!

(book1 rough draft)

Deek was at a loss of what he should do next. It was forbidden for Wizards to have children with the Normals because their child's powers were extremly potent and very unstable. And with the rise of activity from the Xievous, Deek's unborn son would surley be killed along with Kali and himself. He shuddered at the thought. But he also knew how dangerous Bloodborn children were. He tried to remember the whole story he had been told so many years ago at Deyleeth's school for the Magikind. But could only recall bits and pieces of the Xievous beginnings.

He remembered that the Archmage of the WizPD council had had a Bloodborn child and tried to keep him a secret from the of the High Council and the Magikind. The mother passed away during the birthing which gave the Archmage an oppurtunity to take his child as an apprentice. He claimed the child was a Magikind with high potential for the protective arts so the High Council agreed to the apprenticeship. The rest of the story had been twisted over the years. What Deek remembered for sure was that the child had been as powerful as the Archmage himself at the age of eight, however his lust for power had also grown over the years. He invented new magics in offense as well as defense and believed he should be the next Archmage. At the age of 16 he requested to join the High Council, when his father and the council refused he went mad, claiming they were not strong enough to defend the Magikind. He destroyed his father and half of the high council, and had the others swear allegiance to him or suffer the same fate. Thus the Xievous was born.

Deek sighed.He had been one of the best Protectors of his time. He fought and destroyed many of the Xeivous' dark wizards and had been lucky enough to stay alive,though very scarred. Deek would rather fight a hundred, no, a thousand dark wizards then face what was coming next.
"Blast" said under his breath. Deek knew he wouldn't let his son die. He had to do something, but what?

Deek sighed again and sat underneath the huge oak in his back yard. At that moment he felt the aches of his age. With his short silvery white hair, a square chin, and broad shoulders he looked more of a Normal than a wizard. Kari always said he aged nicely, and it may be so on the outside, but the pain on the inside was unbearable at times.

"A 43 year old wizard should not feel like this" he said to himself.
But he knew he had been lucky to live this long. The Xievous had become more powerful and aggressive these past few months. and his last arrest almost cost him and his teams life. "what a way to live" deek thought

He groaned silently as he layed his head back against the massive oak. He had started to doze off when Karl walked through the back door.

He lifted his head and smiled as she approached.
Kari was beautiful, and being eight months pregnant only made him love her more.
She had red flowing hair, the face of an angel and eyes, that he could swear saw directly into his soul, with their brilliant green gaze. She was shorter than most women, but she had a fiery temper of a giant, wich Deek had only seen a few times.

Deek flashed back to when they first met. He had just had a grueling battle with three dark wizards wich cost him a deep scar on his back from shoulder to shoulder. The Xievous were trying to take ancient artifacts from a Normal museum which they thought had immense power. Deek passed out after the battle and woke up in a Normal hospital. Still groggy and in immense pain, he thought he was surely going to die. Thats when he saw an angel come to him. Her voice was soft and sweet and he knew he was about to depart this world, she woudl be his ecort. Deek sobered up quickly as the pain surged through his back. She rolled him on his stomach and applied a cool cloth to his wound. After the pain subsided he looked into her eyes and knew he was in love. Magikind or not she was perfect.

He started from his daze when she kissed his forhead.
"Deek, how are you feeling this evening?" she asked in a sympathetic voice.
"I'm still trying to figure it out sweetheart, but I can't think of any way we can escape our fate"
"No matter what happens Deek, know that I will always love you"
Deek blushed after 3 years she still had the power to put his stomach in butterflys.

"Help me up hun'" he said as he offered his hand.
Kari helped him to his feet, then stood pondering for a moment.
"There is only one thing we can do." Kari said suddenly. "We must give him to a family of my kind, of Normal kind."
Deek squirmed, this is what he was fearing. "I suppose your right Kari, trying to raise him in the Magikind world would be dangerous."
"Yes it would. Think what would happen if the Xievous recruited him." She said, "There hasn't been a Bloodborn since Archmage Merick's son Garrin, and thats what started this whole mess."
Deek looked at her sternly. "Our blood would never betray us like that never!" He bowed his head "I am sorry, your right its very dangerous. I will have Gregor find a family suitable for him. He know's the Normals better Than I and I trust him with my life."

Kari kissed his forhead again, "It's ok, I am sure Gregor will find the perfect family for our little angel." she smiled
"It's time for supper," Deek said as he reached for her hand."Remember your eating for 2 now, got to keep you in good health darling"
"When will you talk to Gregor?" Kari asked as the headed for the door.
"I will speak with him tommorow." Replied Deek "I will invite him for supper, I can not ask him in the WizPD hall"
They walked inside for their evening meal.

*****
The baby came right on schedule. Kari and Deek were both in tears when while they where holding thier baby boy.
"Aye he is a handsome lad." Stated Gregor. "But we can't stay here to long, the boys presence will be know soon and we have to get a move on."
Gregor paused, "Have you thought of a name for the little one?" He asked in his thick scottish accent.
Kari looked at the baby for a second then stared at Deek. "Delcius." She said "Delcius Xander"
"Aye." Said Gregor, "Thats a strong name, I am sure the boy will live a long and happy life. We must be going now."
"So you have found a family for him gregor?" Deek asked
"No, not yet." Replied Gregor, "A family is easy to find, but a perfect family is difficult. Though I wouldn't settl for less. No the young lad will stay with me for a few day while I search. I can hide him from both the council and the Xevious"
"Very well." Said Deek as he reached down to gather Delcius.

At that very moment Their was a crash through the window and the door blew open.
"Xievous!" Gregor yelled.
Deek reacted instantly. His hands began glowing a brilliant white as he summoned his energy.
Gregor reacted also his started glowing a deep blue and his eyes turned the same color. Five Xievous dark wizards came rushing into the house.
"The boy," Said one of the Xievous in a scratchy voice. " Give us the boy and we will spare you."

Kari Screamed as Deek blasted th Xievous square in the chest. "INCARNUM!" deek yelled
The remaing four Xievous hands and eyes started glowing black and red. One looked at Kari and pointed his palms at her chest. "RESTRICTOR!" He yelled.
Without thinking Deek tried to block the blast. "INTRACEPT!" He yelled. A white bolt flew from his palms chcing the red bolt the Xievous just released. It missed by a hair. Deeks blast smashed aganst the wall splintering it from the force, the Xievous blast continued toward Kari.
Kari put a pillow over Delcius just in time and she and Deek watched in slow motion as the blast hurtled towards her. It hit her square in the chest and had enough force to knock the bed back against the wall. Kari went put her arm around the pillow covering Delcius and slipped away.

"KAR!," Deek screamed, " No N-NO Please no. Kari."
Gregor blasted two more before Deek turned back around.
Deeks hands glowed a pure white and he blasted the other two Xievous without speaking the spell. The blast hit them both with enough force to blow them through the wall of the house to the edge of the lawn.

Gregor returned to normal and headed for Delcius. He knew Kari was gone. He cradled Delcius and turned to see Deeks hands still glowing at full force.
"I must get him out of here Deek. The Xievous know and the council will know soon."
Deek didn't respond for a moment then said." Take the boy and get out of here. More will be-."
15 more Xievous entered the house hands alsready glowing.
"Get the boy and get out!!" Bellowed Deek. "I will take care of them."
"Oh really" hissed a Xievous. " I can't wait to see this" He grinned evily.
"They are bloxking the exits Deek" gregor stated rather calmly. "I fear the worst."
This was enough to set Deek off again. For the first time since the stories of Garin Deek had passed the breaking point. Not only where his hands glowing white, but his whole body whas engulfed in a brilliant white fire-like glow. "SUSPENDICA!!"
A White Orb grew and blasted through the whole house. All the Xievous were frozen where they stood.

Gregor stood open jawed, then collected himself. "We must seal the boys powers first, we must make him as much like a Normal as possible."
Deek stood for a moment then nodded. "We will do it together, he has more power in him then either of us"
Together the began casting a spell to seal Delcius' power so he could live normally. The casting reduced the strenth of the suspension spell and one of the Xievous began stirring.

Deek stopped casting and Turned to Gregor. The sight of Deek was making Gregors eyes begin to ache. "Get him out now." Deek said calmly "And keep him safe."

Gregor knew what Deek was going to do. "Aye, I will"
Gregor cradled Delcius closer and headed out the door. When he got outside he was relieved to see his horse still alive. He mounted her and set off to the west.

Deek was concentrating hard on keeping the Xievous frozen. One of them started moving. "Where's the boy." it said in a raspy voice.
Deek did not reply, he was concentrating on what he was about to do. With all his energy he cast one last spell. The one spell any wizard can only cast once. It required no words pure thought. The house started creaking and a moment later there was a huge blast that incenerated everything in and around the house. Deek cast the spell "The last Sacrifice". His last thoughts were of Kari and his son Delcius. Then Deek vanished with the Xievous, the house, and Kari.

Gregor turned as he heard the blast, only to see a white globe where the house had been. He knew what Deek had done and he knew it was the only way to hide if the boys survival.

"I must get this boy to the Normal land. I must protect him" Gregor thought to himself. He had a sinking feeling as he rode on. For today was the last time he would ever perform magic.
"Get him out and get him safe!" Deek barked at Gregor.