That was a lot of reading!!  I was intrigued to see that the first line was a hook for some, and others it didn't even phase them.  I guess it depends on the type of book your picking up to read.  Like someone had said, I give it to the first 100 pages, and then go from there.  As always, my opener remains locked up. 

^^^^^^^

I hear ya there!!  Maybe add to it.  Readers may experience a point in time, when other people will not understand their mumbling. 

A small un-edited rough edition of the hit on Don Bravatta. 


     My gym bag was packed to the hilt.  Mostly with sandwiches, and snacks.  Hey I didn't know how long I was going to be here.  I moved the cup cakes out of the way, and tossed the slim jims to the same side of the bag.  You ever had one of those moments when you get caught.  Like when your walking around your place naked and someone unexpected walks in and catches you.  Another example.  The roof door opens wide spilling light onto my position, me and all my snack garbage.  From the look I got, even the informant was surprised at how much junk I ate.  After the light hit it, so was I. My cold fingers felt the little nine mm  Uzi in the gym bag.  I just froze feigning the deer in the head lights look.  He really had me dead to rights.  His gun looked like a field cannon aimed at my head, even though it was only a three fifty seven.  The barrel looked like a tunnel along a dark road, abruptly ending at a dead end.  Except if he did shoot me, most likely I would be back with in an hour or two, and just kill him even slower then I had planned. 

I have been laughing so hard at that whole situation.  You would think eventually, someone would say, "I don't think she is planning anything boss."  Then leave.  Thumbs up guys, you can follow me to school, parents, and then home to sleep. 

I will post a small part of the story tomorrow. 

HI...I feel like I am at a support group.  My name is________ and I have writers cramp.  Group then says "HI ______" 

I have been writing many many little stories.  Most were one pagers, and some were a few chapters long.  I am now in the process of finishing up chapter 15 in my book.  I know, go figure.  It seems that I enjoy writing about something that is half angel and half demon.  Poor thing wakes up arguing with it's self, and has problems keeping the good guys and the bad guys straight.  Being half and half, he ends up resorting to guns and being a hitman for who ever.  In this one I have him going after the pope.  should strike a chord with a few...