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Messages - thausgt

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Author Craft / Re: Critque
« on: August 29, 2009, 05:26:03 AM »
Sometimes I use critiques to get around writer's block. The story flows from my head to the screen (or, occasionally, the notebook) up to a particular point, then stops. Sometimes I can't restart it, so I'll show it to my long-suffering fiancee or a few other friends and see what they make of it. Occasionally, they point out something missing or in the wrong order or whatnot, and that gets my creative juices flowing again.

In that context, the story is kind of like a literal program, 'hanging' because of an error. In other cases, they're able to ask questions that hadn't occurred to me, considering which helps me approach the block from a different perspective and therefore getting past it.

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Author Craft / Re: Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
« on: August 29, 2009, 05:21:00 AM »
Quote from: Darwinist on August 23, 2009, 12:14:57 PM
We like to run, it energizes us. Our lungs start to burn and our head gets a little foggy. Adrenaline rushes to our fingertips and the soles of our shoes protest with a numbing agony. The beat in our toes rattles up our spine and our fists pump with deliberation and anxiety. Predator on prey, salivating at the thought of our next meal. The thought drives us to the brink and then we push ourselves over.


First-person-plural tense for a viewpoint character is an interesting choice. Are you suggesting that the speaker is a non-human lifeform that lacks a cultural (or psychic) distinction between the individual and the collective? Are you suggesting that the speaker is a high-functioning multiple personality disorder? I admit that these paragraphs hook me, but the bait definitely sets up some significant expectations.

Quote from: Darwinist on August 23, 2009, 12:14:57 PM
Our name is Katon.

We are an ancient people and we are hungry.

Our prey is a small time hood, peddling drugs to school children. It matters not to us who they are or what they do, but to our employer. Interpol. It's amazing what we can get away with if we got a badge, a gun, and a general understanding of how to sidestep the rules.


Ah! A bit of explanation about why Katon does what they do. Interesting that they are involved with law-enforcement, rather than freelance.

Quote from: Darwinist on August 23, 2009, 12:14:57 PM
Here's our target, here's the paperwork. Dead or alive, sounds great to us, it does. Though our prey is usually more dead than alive when the night is through.

"it does" represents an interesting character quirk. Referring to night makes me think of vampires, though. I suggest tossing in more "this is not a vampire" hints. Rumor has it that the current writing market is oversaturated with vampire stories...

Quote from: Darwinist on August 23, 2009, 12:14:57 PM
But hey, what do us immortals have to fear in this age of bureaucracy. If we screw up, it goes through the hands of about thirty of our superiors before it ever reaches the desk of someone that matters. By then, the issue has blown over and whatever body bag's we left behind are yesterdays news. They just want results, and we gives them results.

*activate grammar check*
"What do we immortals" will get past the proofreaders, as will a question mark at the end of that sentence.
*deactivate grammar check*
I understand you're trying to give us a hint of the speaker's thought-style. Keep going, though, I want to see more of Katon.

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Author Craft / Re: Boingy boingy boingy
« on: August 29, 2009, 04:58:40 AM »
Quote from: NothingWicked on June 24, 2009, 05:39:02 AM
Gotta love Mat... anyways. I have to say I just can't really anything really explicit. It just gets annoying and kinda ooky for me. I guess I'm just old fashioned by I like the vague references and fill in you're own blacks scenes in my reading.

Gaiman wrote a preface for a recent reprint of "The Stars My Destination" pointing out that, had that venerable book been written in the past decade, there are several scenes that would have been written out completely, rather than allowing the reader to, as you say, "fill in their own blanks". I, too, subscribe to the theory that readers' own imagination can hook themselves rather effectively when the writer uses the technique properly. Unfortunately, if the story is in an anthology of erotic fiction, there isn't much room to use that dodge.

Quote from: NothingWicked on June 24, 2009, 05:39:02 AM
Although smut does make for some laughs. 

To quote Mike Pondsmith: "By itself, sex just isn't funny enough, even if you are wearing a clown suit at the time. Frustration, on the other hand, can be hilarious." I'm probably missing a few details. Would anyone with a copy of the "Teenagers From Outer Space" RPG care to post the exact phrase?

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Author Craft / Re: Keeping track of characters...
« on: August 21, 2009, 03:45:30 AM »
Quote from: THETA on April 08, 2009, 07:39:32 PM
Admittedly i always start with a stereotype.  In classic literature they would have been called archetypes and they still are, but i use real world character bastardization slang.  For example...

Matt- angry teen
Marie- emo
Lobo- nervous guy

My character grows as i figure out ways on how to purvey their personality while writing or how i stagger the other characters understanding or finding out why that character is the way they are.   

This sort of things plays into an interesting psychological effect. In many cases, people who read a lot of fiction actually see the action playing out in their mind's eye, like a movie. Which means that they have to visualize the buildings, props, costumes... and actors. Authors' descriptions aside, readers still put their own details into their mental image of characters.

In your case, you probably know at least one "angry teen" in your real life. More likely, you have known several throughout your life, and the "angry teen" archetype in your head has elements from all of them. That personal archetype ties into the universal concept of "angry teen", but your personal elements will make the "archetype" into a unique character.
With a little work, of course.

Good luck!

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Author Craft / Re: Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
« on: August 21, 2009, 03:24:07 AM »
Quote from: Aludra on August 13, 2009, 02:44:56 PM
I'm with neurovore on that.  Also I want to know what the treehouse is, and what someone with the ability to experience multiple worlds would be like. Guess you hooked me.  I'd have kept reading, if I'd picked it up at the bookstore to browse (Which I frequently do).
 

"Treehouse" is the name that the other worldjumpers use to describe this particular parallel world. There are around two dozen of them on one side or the other (or neither side) of a cross-dimensional war. However, they all found this particular parallel world and declared it neutral ground. Sort of like maintaining diplomatic "back-channels" between the U.S. and Soviet Russia back in the bad old days. They settled on "Treehouse" to describe it based on various aesthetic elements (greater respect for nature, greater cultural preference for using wood in construction and artwork, etc.) and because everyone liked it better than "Manorhouse" or "Cosmic Switzerland".

Quote from: Aludra on August 13, 2009, 02:44:56 PM
I don't like the first two as much.

1. 'Federal' threw me off. It's too mundane and I can quickly get tired of authority protaganists.

Good point! The speaker is addressing the protagonist. I'll see about making that a little more obvious in the next draft.

Quote from: Aludra on August 13, 2009, 02:44:56 PM
2. I dislike it when the first sentence involves violence.  It sets the pace as too fast for my taste and usually implies that there will be little development of character.

If it helps any, earlier drafts of this scene were much longer and had more action. Basically, imagine the scene in "Blood Rites" where Harry & Co. are heading into the confrontation with Mavra's scourge. Now imagine that scene starting off the book as a flashback, and you'll have some idea of the structure with which I started.

Quote from: Aludra on August 13, 2009, 02:44:56 PM
These are just personal opinions, so don't act on them necessarily.  I'm only one potential audience member.

Never fear, I'm thickening my skin as best I can. All feedback that doesn't descend into impugning the author's genetics and hygiene has at least some merit. Thanks, everybody!

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Author Craft / Re: Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
« on: August 21, 2009, 03:12:04 AM »
Quote from: LizW65 on August 13, 2009, 01:18:22 PM
I would definitely cut the words "in this particular parallel world."  First, how would the narrator know he/she is in a parallel world, and second, I think it would be more interesting to show that gradually instead of stating it right off the bat.  Otherwise, #3 has my attention.

This is one of several story-fragments I built around a particular character that I designed for a GURPS: Infinite Worlds campaign.
(For non-GURPS fans: this is an RPG scenario in which cross-dimensional travel is as safe and commonplace as internal-combustion engines are in our world. Most people have to use vehicles or "projectors" to travel across the dimensions, but a double-dozen "worldjumpers" can do so through sheer force of will.)
The character himself ("Zed Starbrucker") is a respected professional worldjumper who is taking a 24-hour leave in a place where his bosses absolutely cannot interrupt him.
The rest of the story-fragment explains that the action takes place in a parallel universe where certain fundamental laws of physics operate differently, creating a dimension that cannot be accessed except by worldjumpers.
Good points in your critique, though; explaining all of this in the first paragraph would require too much jargon. I'll see about adjusting that in another draft.

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Author Craft / Re: Writing Reference: What's on your bookshelf?
« on: August 13, 2009, 04:21:44 AM »
Aside from several reference books already mentioned, I've got a couple dozen GURPS books. They're a rich mine of ideas for pretty much everything you need: characters, plots, locations, and so on. They are also designed to be highly adaptable to any imaginable need. In addition, the sections on advice to the game master adapt very easily to writing suggestions. I'll personally recommend the "Mage" line from White Wolf (both Ascension and Awakening, though the latter is more refined than the former). The advice therein assumes a primary setting rather similar to the Dresdenverse (21st century America, supernatural exists but 'behind the scenes', etc.) but can be adapted with some effort.

I also have a couple of miscellaneous guidebooks, just in case. An older edition of the Boy Scout Handbook for characters lost in the woods, "The Action Hero's Handbook" for miscellaneous action sequences, etc.

You might also consider the "Crime Scene" series of d20 supplements from Greywood Publishing. Six different volumes on crime and the law and how they interact in entertainment. Bonus: one of the six specifically deals with investigating supernatural crimes from a law enforcement point of view.

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Author Craft / Re: Just starting... again
« on: August 13, 2009, 04:09:59 AM »
Quote from: belial.1980 on August 07, 2009, 12:06:14 AM
Meg and Starbeam turned me on to the following podcast: http://www.writingexcuses.com/ (Thank you guys!)

It's full of good advice. And it's pretty entertaining too. Three guys who're relatively new authors give advice in 15 minute episodes to aspiring writers. You should check it out.

Seconded! I recommend going through the archives of all the old episodes and, if you happen to have the hard-drive space, the bandwidth and the patience, download as many episodes as you can. Every one of them has at least something you can use, even if it's just the writing prompts.

In response to your overall question, you seem to be what the "Writing Excuses" crew call a "discovery writer". This means that your writing style is to essentially take dictation from your muse, rather like how Mozart used to hear entire symphonies in his head. In light of that, you might consider just letting your writing go where it will. Be advised that you will end up with sentences, characters, scenes, and even entire chapters that you may or may not be able to use in the story you intend to submit for publication, but that doesn't mean that you should banish such fragments completely. Keep them in your writing files, for when your muse gets around to giving you the stories into which they fit better.

Good luck!

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Author Craft / Re: Opinions requested
« on: August 13, 2009, 04:00:02 AM »
Quote from: belial.1980 on August 12, 2009, 03:01:21 AM
Oh, trust me. You don't want that, heh heh.  ;)

Haven't thought up a hybrid oddball yet, but it could be fun. I'll add it to my big ole stack of ideas. I totally agree on the progression of ideas you mentioned. I think as you practice writing (and reading critically) you get more ideas, better ideas, and you get better at developing them.

Right. If your writing style and psychology will allow it, you might even consider working with what Joss Whedon calls "the stuff behind the stuff".
What would a hybrid wizard-slash-shapeshifter, as a character, symbolize? Do his limitations symbolize anything?

Slightly less literary-critic questions: If he lives in a world that is hidden behind the mundane reality we all see outside our windows, what kind of life does he have in the non-supernatural world? If he has none, why not? If he lives in a completely different reality, what (if anything) links it to the aforementioned mundane world? Who are his friends? Why do they hang around with him? Who are his specific enemies (as opposed to cultural and ideological opposition to his existence)? Has he done anything to these specific enemies to earn the enmity? What can he do without his powers? Does he have any hobbies? What does he look like? What kind of clothes does he wear?

I'll freely admit to dropping the ball on those last two myself in a lot of my writing; my viewpoint characters forget to describe themselves but will build up very clear pictures of everyone else in the story...

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Author Craft / Re: Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
« on: August 13, 2009, 03:47:41 AM »
These stories are from the vaults. Haven't really worked on either of them in years, but I'd love to hear some opinions:

“Floyd Marlin, are you aware that the Federal law which you have been accused of breaking carries a mandatory death-sentence if you are found guilty?”

"The evil wizard spat a blob of slime, hate and magick directly into my left eye, and another in my right."

“'Welcome to the Treehouse,'” the stranger said, in slightly accented 21st century English, settling himself down in the seat across from me as I set down my pint of rich, amber-hued cider. As the language had been subsumed by Dutch more than two centuries ago in this particular parallel world, he had my full attention. I had never seen him before, so he would also have my pint in his face if he didn't explain himself. Quickly."

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Author Craft / Re: weapon advice--writers or not...
« on: August 13, 2009, 03:28:15 AM »
Quote from: meg_evonne on August 12, 2009, 04:05:44 AM
But I fear you lost me on the "pivot point of the blade's swing"  - wouldn't the pivot point be the person's wrist or elbow?  Or do I need to go more 3d here rather than the simple thrust.  The pivot point would shift to a section of the blade if the wrist or elbow is thrusting forward, but also spinning it somewhat? Can't seem to picture that.  I admit my fighting skills are based from fencing classes in college----years ago. 

May I suggest this site:
http://www.thearma.org/
... assuming that the ghoul in question is using Western European sword techniques. On the other hand, this might be a good starting point for other 'traditional' techniques, such as those that Saladin's forces used against the Crusaders.

I can't address your original question (parry a scimitar with a not-quite-Bowie knife) with any authority. All I can calculate is that, with magical boosting of speed and stamina, the character MIGHT be able to do a borderline-cinematic move. The image in my head borrows several frames from Neo's first bullet-dodge and assumes that the ghoul's strike is a nearly-horizontal cut more like a baseball swing, aimed at your character's waist. The character presents the flat of her knife to make contact with the ghoul's strike and guides it slightly upward, while she does the best limbo move in her life to get the ghoul's target under the plane of the strike.

The practical upshot is that she's not 'parrying the strike' so much as she is dropping under it. It's borderline-cinematic because a non-magically-augmented fighter might not be able to move fast enough to drop under a full-speed sword strike, and an all-out attack with a sword marks the ghoul as something other than a trained fighter, as well. I can only invoke the "Rule of Cool" to justify the suggestion at all.

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Author Craft / Re: Author In Progress
« on: August 13, 2009, 02:55:27 AM »
Quote from: Flintlock on August 06, 2009, 08:32:34 PM
oh dear lord, yes. i got one of those damn ideas watching tv and drinking Kool-aid (completely unrelated) and it's one of those ideas that put on a wrestler's leotard and puts your brain in a full nelson until you write it all down (which was probably 3 hours later)

Exactly! If you look around carefully enough, you might track down a copy of the original "Buckaroo Banzai" novel, in which the author (Earl Mac Raouch, as the spine of the book four feet from my chair tells me) points out that Dr. Banzai has gotten his most nifty ideas in the Bathroom, the Bedroom and on the Bus. (something about the prevalence of negatively-ionized air in those areas...) Therefore, notebooks and writing implements are always close to hand in all three of these critical areas. Of course, this was before the advent of cell phones with sound-recorder capacity, so you could just dictate into that (and try your luck with crappy sound quality).

Take a tip from Buckaroo, kids: keep paper and pen or a recorder handy whenever possible! The story idea you save could be the one that catapults you to wealth and fame! Or at least into the next higher tax bracket...

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DFRPG / Re: What next?
« on: July 17, 2009, 03:06:55 AM »
I vote for the Primer, but would also like to see a few monsters later on.
Monsters, y'see, are ten-a-penny, as they say. Aside from the library of books detailing monsters in RPG contexts already crowding game stores' shelves, there are also uncountable numbers of things available online. Yes, it could be a chore to translate the creatures' stats into FATE terms, but the basic materials for the task are freely available even as we... uh, read? Type? Whatever...
Settings, ironically, are much harder to come by. Not every game setting has *cough* their own private Chicago, and each of those are rather easy to tell apart. Shadowrun's version versus White Wolf's? No problem: Harry could take his morning jog through the White Wolf version of Chicago and probably only notice the difference if he was paying close attention, but the subtle and disturbing differences would start mounting after an hour or so. Shadowrun's version (aside from being set fifty-odd years in the future) has been quarantined by the military because it's been overrun by a dozen or more different tribes of anthropomorphic, man-sized insects.
I'm very interested in seeing how the Dresdenverse version of Chicago differs from the one I can visit by hopping on a plane, as well as how it differs from all the other alternate Chicagos out there...

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Author Craft / Re: New Storyline... authors wanted
« on: July 07, 2009, 03:46:42 AM »
What the boy had taken to be a large bundle of rags in a long-sealed doorway shifted, then released a yawn. The man levered himself up to a sitting position. The lengths of dirty grey hairs escaping from the tea-cosy he wore as a hat flopped as the man turned his head, first facing the boy, then the still-forming apparition, then back at the boy.

"The surest shield is impeccable manners," the man said, in a rich, creaking voice from the wiry tangle of a beard. "In this world and most all the others." He raised a warning finger. "But the sharpest sword is a rapier wit."

The boy stared at him. "I'm pretty sure you're speaking the King's English," he said after a moment. "But I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."

The man tilted his head a fraction, allowing a stray bit of sunlight to fall across his eyes. Slowly, they rolled upward, around to the side, then back to match the boy's gaze. He let out a sigh, then nodded his head at the... being. "Perhaps you should claim to be ill? 'Tis a bad year for the flu, you know."

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Author Craft / Re: Chapter Titles yes or no?
« on: July 07, 2009, 03:27:56 AM »
Quote from: neurovore on July 06, 2009, 11:41:25 PM
Readers who have a problem with that really to my mind fall into the 'wanting to be spoon-fed everything" category, and I prefer my entertainment to actually engage my brain.

I agree, with one addition: I approve of situations where the confusion is a deliberate choice on the part of the author in service to the story, and disapprove of situations where the confusion is lack of skill on the author's part and/or it does not serve the story.

For example, consider Niven & Barnes' "The Barsoom Project", in which the murderer gets a few lines and made significant changes to the plot in an early chapter; the authors included that scene to explain what happened later as well as in service to the story (the context of the murderer's actions caught the hero's attention; "That's not supposed to happen in this Game!") without revealing who the murderer was until an appropriate point in the story.

Quote from: neurovore on July 06, 2009, 11:41:25 PM
Jarring is not inherently bad.  Sometimes it is exactly the effect the author wants.

Exactly I agree, and that is precisely why I personally take issue with the "technique" when it's actually bad writing. Another example is in Alfred Bester's "The Computer Connection", when the story switches from first-person-narration to third-person halfway thrugh the book, then back again. The story flow is not only not interrupted, but enhanced by both transitions. This would be a mark of a lesser writer and a soon-to-be-fired editor, but because it serves the story, the technique works.

Truth to tell, I can't have an educated opinion on Jordan's work, as I never managed to get past the first book. And my tendency to forget "bad" writing means that I can't remember any other examples to illustrate what I mean by that. So it goes...

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