Good call, sir.

Hi all, this is my first post but I have been perusing the forum for a couple of weeks. I have my first DFRPG game starting soon and I couldn't help but make a character concept ahead of time.

I'm looking for constructive criticism of concept, aspects, skill, powers, stunts, w/e.

It's still a work in progress but I'm trying not to be too powergamey because that's a trap I often fall into and just try to make an interesting character to play for hopefully some time.

Power Level: Submerged.
Name: Kenny Powers.
High Concept: Hall-of-Famer Kinetomancer.
Template: Focused Practitioner.
Other Aspects:    Gradually, Cautiously, Cluing-In.
                      When the Bases are Loaded; Swing Hard.
                      Everyone Knows I’ve Got a Lot of Dough.
                      I Never Asked for Any of This.

Description:    -Heavily bearded man in his mid forties.
                                -Has been an athlete his whole life and has a strong and fit build, despite some softening in the middle.
                                -Never seen without a baseball cap covering his balding head.
                                -Easy going and quick with a joke, usually self-depreciating.
Skills:   +5   Athletics
                   +4   Conviction, Resources, Presence
                   +3   Discipline, Weapons, Endurance
                   +2   Alertness, Craftsmanship, Rapport
                   +1   Lore, Might, Survival
Skill notes: His career as an athlete makes it his pinnacle skill. His confidence in his abilities is represented by the high conviction with resources and presence being the obvious by-products of a sport star life. His skill with a bat and throwing a ball indicates a good weapons skill with endurance and discipline coming from a life of training. He has plenty to money for hobbies and time for social and charity events and this is reflected by his craftsmanship and rapport. He is still discovering the supernatural world and so has low lore.

Powers:   Channelling: Spirit -2

Stunts:      Famous -1
                      Lush Lifestyle -1
                      Weapon Focus: Baseball Bat -1
   Total: -5   Remaining: 5

Stress:   Physical    OOO
                   Mental      OOOO      
                   Social      OOOO

Notable Gear:   -Stainless Steel Baseball Bat. Kenny had this custom made for extra strength. It’s heavy, but it hits really hard. Still weapon:2. Also focus +1 offensive control.
                           -Lucky Baseball Cap. This is Kenny’s other Focus. +1 defensive Control.
                           -Always Carries a Baseball.
                           -Some kind of sweet, expensive,  black SUV

Trouble: Kenny always thought he was just naturally gifted at baseball, and the fact that he was improving with age when most players decline was a testament to his training and experience. It wasn’t until his final innings as a Pro that he realised he was abnormal. His World-Series-winning grand slam on the last ball of the ninth innings was heard well beyond the confines of the stadium. The fans phsyically felt the shockwave.  For 45 years, Kenny had lived, as most humans do, blissfully unaware of the supernatural world around him. His gradual discovery is scary and often traumatic.
   Aspect: Gradually, Cautiously, Cluing-In.
   Invoke: When discovering things supernatural, When things seem ‘off’, When ignorance is a benefit.
   Compel: When surprised by the unknown, When ignorance is a hindrance, When hesitation is unwise.

Background: Kenny will always be remembered as one of the all time greats of the sport. His on field feats as a pitcher and batter rewrote the record books and will remain unsurpassed likely for many years. Despite his ignorance, Kenny’s power has slowly developed over the course of his career. His subtle control over the element of spirit helped him to hit more balls and strike out more batters each season. The peak of his unknown power coincided with his last ball in Major League. The winning ball was never found, hit well out of the park. The aluminium bat with which he hit it, literally, shattered into thousands of tiny fragments. Sadly, the brunt of the explosive shrapnel was worn by the opposition pitcher who later died in hospital of his injuries. Kenny  retired that day, he couldn’t risk facing another ball.
   Aspect: When the Bases are Loaded; Swing Hard.
   Invoke: In high pressure situations, When maximum force is barely enough, When it’s all up to Kenny.
   Compel: When subtlety is required, In high pressure situations (haunted by incident), When it would be dangerous to go all out.

First Adventure: Finding out what was happening to him and how to control it became Kenny’s first priority. Still naive to the ways of the supernatural, He didn’t know where to start. He decided to reply to a ‘looking for work’ ad from a ‘supernatural PI.’ It didn’t take long for the PI to realise firstly, that his client had no idea what he was doing and secondly that he was a wealthy sport star. He greedily led Kenny on for weeks, with each ‘breakthrough’ and ‘lead’ just a few hundred dollars further away each time and each time proving fruitless. After some time, Kenny cottoned on to the con and terminated the PI’s employment just before blowing out every window in his office.
   Aspect: Everyone Knows I’ve Got a Lot of Dough.
   Invoke: When socially advantageous, When buying/sourcing/investigating/bribing things/people.
   Compel: When being conned, When socially disadvantageous, Trying to trust people.

Rising Conflict: Kenny seems to find more questions than answers. More people that need his help than people willing to help him. Often his abilities attract desperate people in need of desperate measures and they make him feel obligated to help by leveraging guilt against his privileged life.
   Aspect: I Never Asked for Any of This.
   Invoke: Whenever he uses his considerable reputation or supernatural talent, When being modest.
   Compel: Whenever someone wants him to do something, When being different is inconvenient.

Rote Spells:      -Bean Ball. (Opening move.)
                          4 Shift Attack, Single Target.
                          Causes 1 mental stress to me.

Other Common Spells:   -Increments on Bean Ball (with rolls for Discipline, of course.) Failed discipline usually directed to fallout.

                                        -Blow the Room! (When the bases are loaded; swing hard.)
                          10 Shift Attack. (8 to Power, 2 to Zone-Wide if multiple targets)
                          Causes 6 mental stress to me, usually 4 stress hit +1 minor mental consequence.
                          5 Controlled, 5 Fallout (or 2-3 tags required.)

Future Advancement:     -Increase Lore over time to reflect gaining knowledge of my abilities and the world around me thus allowing upgrade to number of rote spells and better foci.
                 -Increased refresh probably towards Refinements for better foci.



Sorry if the formatting is a little wonky.

NB:Edited after feedback