2) Would you(Jim) please clarify exactly who the Faerie Queens can personally kill and who they can't? At various times in Summer Knight and in the rest of the series, we've been told or seen evidence that:

-- The Sidhe Knights are the only ones allowed to act in matters not directly related to the Faerie Courts. (SK, Ch. 10)
-- The Queens are not allowed to kill anyone who isn't a member of their own Court. (SK, Ch. 10)

And yet:

-- We've seen fae servants of the Faerie Queens kill and attempt to kill mortals many times.
-- Aurora was able to try to kill Harry just fine, but was unable to harm Murphy. (SK, Ch. 20-21)
-- When Harry is preparing to deal with Mab to become the Winter Knight, he thinks to himself that Mab can't kill a mortal, only make them wish they were dead. The implication seems to include the Winter Knight. (Changes, Ch. 30)

So which mortals can the Faerie Queens kill? Bob tells us one thing, but evidence in the books indicates something else.

Re: Your three points:
-- We've seen the fae wreaking mayhem on multiple occasions, but the only real bodycount was in PG, where they were acting via Mollys' choice. It was, essentially, Molly's decision to indulge in black magic that opened the way for the horror movie fetches to go wild at the convention, while at Arctis Tor, anyone present had clearly chosen to involve themselves in the events, I. E. become involved in matters directly related to the dealings of the court.
-- In Summer Knight, Harry as Winter Emissary was an open target, since he was - temporarily, to hear him tell it - a part of Winter, while Murphy was, as a vanilla mortal who happened to be standing nearby, not a legitimate target, and therefore the Chlorofiend had to pull its punches.
-- Take 1 part wishful thinking, 2 parts assisted delusion via [GS thing], and 1 part not-thinking-straight-due-to-having-just-been-permanently-injured. Garnish with inaccurate phrasing and unreliable narrator to taste.

I present, a brief lament for my favorite beverage:

Alack a day
Oh, woe is me
For Knudsen changed
Their recipe...