Belatedly . . .

“I approached the Merlin, catching him unawares, kissing him long and hard.”

How . . . how did we get . . . how are we here? 

“Shagnasty, well that speaks for itself

WOMP.

We will see murphy in memory form in Twelve Months I do not doubt like we have Malcolm, very likely to see her physically in Mirror, Mirror.

I hope so!!!

I wish there was a tag that made things invisible to Jim . . . ? <no-see-jim>My new biggest fear is that, if Harry does end up running around Battle Ground again via time travel, he will have to ensure that Murphy does die for some aggravating greater-good preserve-the-timeline reason.

I'm not saying I expect that (too much of a Susan do-over) . . . but I fear it immensely.</no-see-jim>

So no job, losing step to the supernatural group, no powerup to work with, there really wasn't a place for [Murphy] anymore that was in the main part of the story. She was just slowing Harry down.

Now, I'm a big Care Bear, but I don't necessarily need Murphy "in the action" to have a valid place "in the story." As I see it, she has a unique relationship to Harry: She loves him (but has never idolized him)--she fully trusts him (after enough rounds of the broken/repaired-trust dance) but she's not afraid to call him out when he is wrong--and she really knows him (from back when he was "human" with way fewer asterisks). Especially while he's grappling with the mantle, that makes Murphy a key early-warning person who can say, "Hey, does Harry seem off?" or "Harry, stop!" That's a major loss.

Plus--she doesn't have any competing loyalties to people or causes (outside general protection of the innocent). Like, sure, Michael, Butters, Thomas will show up for Harry, but he's not first with them (they have families, lovers). And others who help Harry (Mab, Lara) are doing so for their own purposes. But Harry's pretty much first with Murphy, and that's because she loves him--and he knows that.

So that's an even more major loss--especially for someone with Harry's past and his need to attach/anchor. (I've always loved the scene where Murphy says to him something like "and you could never do [a] casual [relationship]."--because she's recognizing this very essential, frankly vulnerable aspect of Harry, but without knocking it.)

Anyway I found their relationship interesting of itself, and I was super invested in seeing it continue to evolve as they dealt with Murphy's disability, Harry's still newly-minted fatherhood, winter mantle, etc., in addition to world-saving and any number of stressors/surprises.

And . . . I haven't totally given up yet . . . !

I started reading these books in my late teens, and I felt like it was one of the first times I'd seen my own anger and struggles with trust reflected in a character I could both admire and relate to so closely.

Hi friend! I'm right there with you (all the struggles with trust . . .). You put everything way better than I could have! I hope the blues let up. I was really obsessing for a few days there . . . like, seriously, I had already come down a few notches by the time I wrote my original rant! Both the death and the online commentary on the character (and her merits relative to the other women) feel so personal to me.

I did find this which cheered me up a bit . . . 
https://twitter.com/swarddraws/status/1283149254857547784

I think there are more of us out there. I'm so glad you commented!

Please pardon my rather disconnected thoughts--I figured this is the best place to let them out, even though I'll surely be repeating others . . .

AUUUUUUUGH!
So, yeah. I may be an outlier, but Karrin Murphy is actually the character I pretend to *be* when I read the books. So this one hurt!! And I've been mulling pretty strongly as follows . . .

A DEFENSE
Murphy definitely belonged in the fight. This was an all-hands-on-deck situation. Murphy sheltering at Mac's while civilian conscripts learned to shoot on the job was never going to happen. And--stating the obvious--she saved Harry twice, so by extension she saved (what remains of) Chicago. Murphy has a LONG TRACK RECORD of saving Harry, and by extension Chicago. You do not bench that person in an apocalypse! C'mon Harry.

SOME IRONY
Harry worried that Murphy would be a liability, why? Bad leg, bad shoulder. But all she ultimately needed in the way of help was something Harry can usually do in his sleep--a shield. And why couldn't he cast a shield? Bad shoulder! So who's the liability . . . ?

ON TROPES
Sure, the love interest always dies--but I was disappointed to see it play out so quickly, here. I thought their unfolding dynamic was SUPER interesting. On the other hand, I always suspected that losing Murphy would be the thing that flips Harry "dark"--and yes, he freaked out, but no, (with an assist) he didn't flip. That was a refreshing anti-trope. Of course Rudolph's still out there . . .

A MOMENT OF SILENCE, PLEASE?
On my first read, Murphy's death and Harry's response, as well as the memorial service, felt REALLY . . . rushed? Unexplored? I understand Harry couldn't stop to process, but we can hear his whole internal monologue, and thoughts of Murphy seemed to fade away almost insultingly soon after she herself did. Especially when Harry said, "it would hurt, but I would heal"--I get the stoicism, but that just felt SO abrupt and rather out of character? I'm quite worried about the "chilling effect" of Winter on Harry . . .

THAT SAID, rereading key scenes, I caught a couple lines like "and then I went blind for about a minute." Harry also zones out while talking to Molly, and reports that the memorial is a blur in his memory. He may actually be blacking out--PTSD or similar. It's a taut way to write about grief. Still, I wouldn't have minded more spilled ink. We've met Murphy's family . . . know her backstory . . . been to her house . . . read a short story from her POV! I need to mourn!!

SOME FUZZY FEMINISM
So . . . Lara and Molly. Now, Harry in a forced-marriage predicament is a surprising and weirdly interesting choice. Usually that's more the realm of damsels than tough-guy heavy-hitters. But, after teasing Harry and Murphy for 15 books--and then finally delivering a relationship between those two--who respect, understand, exasperate, challenge, and improve each other--the quick pivot to the marriage plotline stung a LOT.

Because: Lara (the gorgeous sexpot vampire) and Molly (the kink-positive well-endowed recent teenager) both chasing/drooling over Harry is such . . . a teen boy's wet dream. And to pivot from a really well-developed relationship with regular-woman Murphy to Lara-versus-Molly . . . with some early indication it will be played FOR LAUGHS . . . just felt like salt in a stab wound in the back. (And I actually like Lara, overall! Just--timing, augh!)

ALL THAT TO SAY
I had a lot of complicated feelings about this one--and that's probably exactly what Jim was going for. Plus I hope (I'm sure?) we'll get more of Karrin in future books, even if flashbacks only. (Strangely, I'm not rooting for any of the "easy" fixes--but I'd love a well-laid twist and I know an author who excels at those . . .)

Also, I don't mean to sound complain-y . . . a quibble with my favorite books is like an argument with my best friend. That I care this much--says something!

I have a suggestion for Harry that I haven't been able to get OUT of my head, since it got IN: What about Jake Johnson (aka Nick on New Girl)?



He's 5'10" which I realize isn't ideal, but I would count on movie magic to fix that.  He's sarcastic, he's the quintessential everyman, and he's from Chicago!  So long as he can play a character a bit less goofy than Nick, I think he could be gold.

New Girl is odd for me now because I just see Harry when I watch.