Yes

Tell us why you think your 1st is choppy. Maybe you want to post a couple chapters of the 'choppy' version for us to ponder on?

Well, post it somewhere else, then put the link here.  I think, but I could be mistaken, we're not allowed to actually post our own work here directly. 

I saw Stan Lee in a similar discussion over 30 years ago. I hope this will be as fun and interesting.

Aren't you only 33? 

Do the names have to be in English?  Do they only have one "name" for each race?

The way I see it is that they could have several names.  One in the language that the Humans would use, for simplistic sake we can call that English.  Then they could have one name for themselves in their own language and then a third name in the native tongue of the other race.

For example, say we just use your basic terms:

Human tongue - Orc
Orc tongue - Hu'chi Bu'chi - Loosely translated means "Life's Children"
Vampire Elf tongue - Sa La My - Loosely translated means "Primative" (now I'm not saying they view each other as hostile, but you never know)

Human tongue - Human
Orc tongue - Snu'chi Bu'chi - translated means "Time's Children"
Vampire Elf tongue - Pa Stra Mee - translated means "Weaklings"

Human tongue - Vampire Elf
Orc tongue - Smoo'chi Bu'chi - translated means "Death's Children"
Vampire Elf tongue - Bo Lo Nee - translated "Lords of All"

Just my spin on things as I would love to help.  Just wondering what you've been thinking of so far.  And don't forget that you can create your own words out of fake languages you want to make up yourself.  Tolkien did that.

I don't see exactly how gender matters as long as the story is entertaining and well written.

I am interested in your greatness

I like it. I think intention would probably play a big role too. A necromancer directing zombies to pull children out of a burning orphanage is a lot different than said necromancer directing zombies to terrorize a town.

A couple things you may want to consider: how will society meet necromancers? Are they common or does the average person have no idea they exist. will necromancers ever be met with prejudice? People might automatically assume they're evil (or good) based on their practices.

They will be an underground faction.  The religion and politics of the world have the populace of the world believing in them as evil and thought to be wiped out.  Used by parents to scare their kids at night.  Basically the Necromancers were thought to be wiped out during a previous war and as the victors write history the Necromancers got painted as evil.  They would start working in secret, at night, where they can hide their appearance easier then finally rise up from their underground and secret city (yes, I know, cliché) and form an army to free the people.

What kind of zombies will they raise?  Do the undead minions retain any memories, skills, or personality from their former life?  What about decomposition? Will the bodies degrade or will the magic halt decomposition?

They will basically be souls placed back into their own bodies which are held together and repaired by magic.  In a sense, think of the crew of the Black Pearl from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie as a basis as each "zombie" will have their personality and memories intact, etc.  For the most part they are followers of a particular religion/philosophy/belief in this world.  One which the general public disagrees with.

But if they have some kind of will or memory that could make things more complicated. That could be really interesting and raise a lot of moral questions.

That will come into play actually.  As the necromancers have the ability to trap the souls of those who die (and who they kill) this will be dealt with in the world.  I would say more but then that is part of the concept and I don't want to give too much of the idea away.  But they would be able to "reanimate" their opponents if they wished.  They cannot reanimate just anything or anyone.  They can only reanimate something with a soul that they have captured.

Are they limited to humans? It might be cool for said necromancer to ride an undead mount. Maybe made of all bones. There's an interesting fairy tale witch I read about that rode a headless horse. The necromancer could raise all kinds of animals for useful purposes. Can they build their own undead chimera by mixing and matching body parts from dead animals? (Try a google search for the Tupilek, a creature from Native American folklore. Pretty cool, and might offer some inspiration.)

I hadn't really thought of that as of yet.  The only real sentient species on this world are humans who are broken into a bunch of different factions/beliefs/philosophies.  I guess the animation of animals and other critters/beasts would actually be a good idea and would certainly add bulk and flavour to their side and their atmosphere.  As for constructs, I'm not yet sure.  I will take a look at this Tupilek that you suggested.  But basically each faction has its own little "spin" to make them unique in that world.

I am currently in the middle of "world building" and was thinking of putting a spin on things by having the necromancers (and their zombies) actually be the good guys for the change.

Thanks all again for the information as you've certainly helped.