I've heard over and over that this is helpful, but never took it seriously...mostly because I'm bashful about reading aloud - especially to myself.  But I've been working in the tv business for the better part of a decade and have to read voice overs all the time and sometimes be on camera.  So I might be prepared to read my stuff aloud.  I think desire to become a better writer has outweighed my stupid apprehension.

I will use my girlfriend as my listener.  This is going to be good.

Keep after it.  If you want it bad enough, it'll happen for you.  But even if it doesn't click this time, you'll still have a lot of fun along the way!


The Deposed king

Thanks for the encouragement!  I just walked in from work...and I was talking through story bits the whole way.  And what do you know, I'm pretty dang excited to get the stuff off the recorder and onto the page.  Wee!  Funny how a little passion will turn your day around.

I am trying to get into the habit of doing both.  Handwriting for brainstorming/prewriting/outlining (whatever you want to call it), then typing what I've learned from that pen-and-paper exploration.  That doesn't mean, to any degree, that what I type is the final version.  I'm still discovering as I type, but I have a much better feel for what I'm trying to do.  It's sort of like looking at a map before you visit a new place.

I also learned from my counselor that the physical act of handwriting activates the part of the brain that controls the ability to express thoughts via written word.  So today's lack of pen-and-paper writing is allegedly causing people to struggle with writing in general.  I have not done my own research into this, but I thought that was interesting.  I tend to believe her, too.  Just look at any thread of comments on Youtube...

Thanks Quantus! Kestral has a decent ring to it!

Anyone played the indie game FTL (Faster than Light)?  The starter ship is The Kestrel.  You can rename it to anything you want, but Kestrel is the given name when you begin.

Okay, here's what I came up with.  Out of context, I know, but it is within the first few pages of the book, so the reader won't know a lot at this point anyway.  I think I like it.  I'm still considering the distance/passage-of-time thing, but for first draft purposes I think I'm happy.

---

Ansel wished he had something clever to say.  He wondered what she was thinking.  Probably something clever.  He was glad she hadn't been there to see his lame attempt to skip stones.  Ansel wondered how far Leeva's stone would have skipped had it not been blocked by the shore.
   He turned to her and blurted,  "You're good at throwing rocks."
   Leeva giggled.  "Thanks, I guess."
   Ansel nodded, grinning haplessly.  She grinned back.  They kept walking.  Leeva turned her eyes back to the road.  Ansel's grin fell away, and he looked at his feet, watching his boots.  Throwing rocks? He thought.  She's good at throwing rocks?  He'd known Leeva since he could remember.  In Crookhollow, it was hard not to know someone.  But he was a boy and she was a girl, and their paths as youngsters rarely crossed.
   "So, how's the banner going?"  He asked her, grabbing at anything to move on from the stone-throwing comment.
   Leeva shrugged.  "Okay I guess.  It's just a banner.  Same as every year."
   "Well, I bet it will be better than last year's."
   She laughed.  It was a loud, bright, unfettered sound.  "Oh, that's saying a lot.  How do you misspell the name of your own town, anyway?"
   "Mrs. Bogda is an outsider, you know."  Ansel said.  "Crookhollow's not really her town."
   "I guess."  Leeva watched a butterfly as it passed in front of her, her blue eyes bobbing with the creature's movement.  "She's been here long enough that it shouldn't matter, though."
   Ansel nodded.  "Crookhollow, Crackhollow.  Same difference, really."

---

Any thoughts?  I'm tough, so don't hold back.

Thanks for the input!

BLG

It's been forever since I've been on the forum, so...hey guys.  Glad to be back.

The topic at hand is this:  an awkward lull in a conversation between two characters.

In the scene I'm working on, the MC and his love interest (at least for now) are walking together back to town.  He tries to make conversation and says something stupid, bla bla bla.  Kind of typical young love sort of dynamic.

Is there a better technique to convey the awkward lull after the MC's lame comment other than "And then there was an awkward lull."?  I really don't like to Tell when I can avoid it.  Is it too heavy-handed to go into the MC's head for some observational World Building as he flails inwardly?  Because that's where my instinct keeps leading me.

Any input is appreciated...I'm gonna stare at the white space and dose myself with coffee until I can get through this part.

Thanks!

BLG

Wow, actually that is exactly the type of advice I was hoping for.  Thank you!  This will help me out a lot!  Can't wait til I get off work this evening to take a nother whack at it.  Thanks!  I'll let you know if I produce anything worthwhile.

BLG

So I found a program called MasterWriter 2.0.  I haven't used it much yet, but I think I'll have a chance tonight to get back to the grind.  It looks to be a very powerful songwriting tool with a ridiculous rhyming and syllabic search engine.  Pretty in depth. 

Hopefully this will help with my first attempt at songwriting.