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McAnally's (The Community Pub) => Author Craft => Topic started by: seradhe on October 17, 2007, 04:47:17 PM

Title: The first line
Post by: seradhe on October 17, 2007, 04:47:17 PM
OK, something that has been bugging me since my creative writing class way back my first year of college. Figured I'd ask it here.


How much weight do you think the first line of a book carries?

Jims books have never failed to have a seriously awesome first line/paragraph that locks me into the book until it's done. and my Teacher in Creative Writing was practically a nazi regarding the first line (in fact the only reason I passed the class was she liked my first lines)

in the spirit of the topic, I subject a few the the first sentences from my stories....


"It is a little known fact that dragons like to snuggle."
"What the h#!! is it with Vampires and S&M clubs?!"
"At what point does the human mind break?"
"One would think magic coming back into the world would be a great thing."
"I would not think that, waking up this morning, that today would be the last day of my life on earth."

thoughts/suggestions? maybe toss a few of your first lines out?
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Dresden on October 17, 2007, 05:04:05 PM
I agree with your teacher. Because after the first line / paragraph I can always tell if I'm going to like the book or not.

Your first lines:-

"What the h#!! is it with Vampires and S&M clubs?!"
"At what point does the human mind break?"

I really like these first lines.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on October 17, 2007, 07:02:43 PM
I've always wanted a first line that was a hilarious play on bad literary clichés.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on October 17, 2007, 07:43:22 PM
Some people like hook beginnings.  And there are some great hook beginnings out there - my personal favourite is Iain Banks' The Crow Road, which opens with "It was the day my grandmother exploded."

On the other hand, a hook beginning needs to be followed up pretty solidly to justify it. And there are a lot of great hook lines that have books following them ranging from so-so to mediocre.  [ "You are reading this book for the wrong reasons" would be a great opening line if the book following it was actually any good at all, for example. ]

Myself, I like nets more than hooks.  I pretty much never put down a book unfinished, and I read fast, and I'd far rather have a first chapter or two give me lots of little things to like than gamble on one big hook and have it fail to work for the people to whom it clearly says "this is not my thing".
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on October 17, 2007, 07:45:54 PM
I agree with your teacher. Because after the first line / paragraph I can always tell if I'm going to like the book or not.

Well, if you're putting them down after the first para if you don't like the first para, that kind of biases the sampling method, no ?

Some stories want quiet starts that draw you in gradually.  It's not a flaw, whereas forcing a slam-bang hook on a story that does not want it is.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: SunPhoenix on October 17, 2007, 08:17:20 PM
Blood? My Blood? Why am I laying in a pool of my Blood?
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on October 18, 2007, 12:30:27 AM
One of my favorite first lines isn't even from a real book. It's from Jubal Harshaw's Stonebenders book that he's dictating in Heinlein's The Number of the Beast: "Uncle Tobias we kept in a bucket. He preferred it that way, of course."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Tasmin21 on October 18, 2007, 12:44:25 AM
Here's mine:

Quote
There’s a certain sound the human head makes when it hits the trunk of a tree. 
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: blgarver on October 18, 2007, 12:48:19 AM
I think opening lines are very important.  But I don't think they should always be hooks.

My favorite opening line of all time comes from Stephen King's first book of his Dark Tower series, The Gunslinger:

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."

Still gives me shivers.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: meg_evonne on October 18, 2007, 01:40:22 AM
Personally, I'm a blurb girl.   ;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Dresden on October 18, 2007, 06:34:28 AM
Well, if you're putting them down after the first para if you don't like the first para, that kind of biases the sampling method, no ?

Some stories want quiet starts that draw you in gradually.  It's not a flaw, whereas forcing a slam-bang hook on a story that does not want it is.

I do give a book more of a chance then the first line but I can usually know from the off if I'm going to enjoy it or not.  I usually give 100 pages and if I really dislike it then I stop reading.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: seradhe on October 18, 2007, 03:24:22 PM
I like the replies!  ;D

It seems there's a pretty even split between hooks and nets. So what are the thoughts on ending lines? same rules apply? if the entire book is good, then the last line can be "neh.." or does it have to be a good sendoff?

.. and yes blgarver, "The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed" counts as an awesome last line too  :P

My favorite ending line in a book is "In the Dawn of a new world, Damien Vryce smiled". Mucho Brownie points to anyone who knows the book.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on October 18, 2007, 03:33:13 PM
One I've never seen used: "All this touchy-feely stuff was making my ass itch." If that doesn't catch your attention, nothing will. ;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: seradhe on October 18, 2007, 03:46:48 PM
One I've never seen used: "All this touchy-feely stuff was making my ass itch." If that doesn't catch your attention, nothing will. ;D

I would politely ask your permission, as the creative owner of that line, if I may write something starting with that line  ;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on October 18, 2007, 03:49:57 PM
I would politely ask your permission, as the creative owner of that line, if I may write something starting with that line  ;D

If you can stomach it, you can have it with my blessings. I simply exude that kind of junk. ;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: seradhe on October 18, 2007, 03:57:14 PM
If you can stomach it, you can have it with my blessings. I simply exude that kind of junk. ;D


Thanks!

Gotta love when inspiration hits you right between the eyes. *goes off and begins writing*
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Dresden on October 18, 2007, 03:59:08 PM
Personally the last line doesn't bother me as long as the book ties up everything in the story.  But that only applies if it's a stand alone novel.  If it's like The Dresden Files for example then I know what is covered in one book mightn't apply until further down the road.  So for your answer no it doesn't bother me if the last line is amazing or not.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on October 18, 2007, 06:35:19 PM
My favorite ending line in a book is "In the Dawn of a new world, Damien Vryce smiled". Mucho Brownie points to anyone who knows the book.

C.S. Friedman's Crown of Shadows, and how many Brownie points do I have to save up for a Brownie, or can I just keep collecting them and go straight for the Girl Scout ?
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on October 18, 2007, 06:37:23 PM
Personally the last line doesn't bother me as long as the book ties up everything in the story.

To each their own. I can't stand endings that are unrealistically neat; unless you kill everybody, some characters will be going on and having more to their lives, and it works a lot better for me if that's clearly a real life with real issues rather than a happily-ever-after now that everything's tied up.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: meg_evonne on October 18, 2007, 09:23:24 PM
First liners are for all readers and drop byers, but last lines....  Ahh last lines, however, are an author's cherished gift to his/her reader.  Those I expect to be incredible. 

First lines are appetizers---last lines are the perfect dab of chocolate or single spoonful of a mouth watering desert delight.  Those, I think an author should agonize over. 
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Ursiel on October 20, 2007, 08:17:25 PM
OK, something that has been bugging me since my creative writing class way back my first year of college. Figured I'd ask it here.


How much weight do you think the first line of a book carries?

Jims books have never failed to have a seriously awesome first line/paragraph that locks me into the book until it's done. and my Teacher in Creative Writing was practically a nazi regarding the first line (in fact the only reason I passed the class was she liked my first lines)

in the spirit of the topic, I subject a few the the first sentences from my stories....


"It is a little known fact that dragons like to snuggle."
"What the h#!! is it with Vampires and S&M clubs?!"
"At what point does the human mind break?"
"One would think magic coming back into the world would be a great thing."
"I would not think that, waking up this morning, that today would be the last day of my life on earth."

thoughts/suggestions? maybe toss a few of your first lines out?
I love the first line to Proven Guilty "Blood doesn't stain a warden's cloak" or whatever. I'm not really good in the first line department though...

Sample of my suckish talent: Who would've thought that pigs could fly.

Oh yeah, I jsut thought of that while I was typing. NEVER TOOK A CLASS IN MY LIFE :DDD XD I know I suck >_> But I guess it never fails to try.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Torvaldr on October 21, 2007, 03:11:09 AM
I've always liked, "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Ducking, running, dodging, and laughing my head off....

Really yes I liken the first line of a book to the first line of a song. If you don't like it you stop listening. Here are some of the first lines of my most popular songs. (I'm a self published singer/songwriter/storyteller)

"It's the second month of Viking, there's one more month to go."

"Young child, watching, do you understand?"

"Far o're this world I wandered, seen lands of ancient fame."

"The white rose stand for purity, it's petals brilliant white."

"From the shores of Jotenheim where giants walk the land."

"Sing to me oh cold north wind, of the lands that I know well."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: meg_evonne on October 21, 2007, 05:54:54 PM
The yellow rose says goodbye, its yellow petals tears of saddness of times that could have been.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Craz on November 05, 2007, 04:47:51 AM
I like to think that I can write an all-right first sentence. To me, it's not crucial, but I know I should spend more time on it.

Here's the first one I've done, for a Star Trek series I write.

Quote
Captain Jason M. Craz, on a normal day, would have completely tolerated the gossips of his friend Olis Neemar.

And then there's a work-in-progress piece I have that's, well, a tribute to Butcher and the Dresdenites I know.

Quote
As I watched as the first black ball of hellfire streak by me, my first reaction was to wish I’d believed in something with a happy afterlife.[/i]
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: pj on November 06, 2007, 05:23:35 AM
Here's one from a mystery I just finished:

Quote
Maybe, at some point before all this, I’d wanted to be the kind of reporter who toppled corrupt governments.  Back there in the long ago when I’d been bushy haired and thought my couple of inches in the campus rag would change the world.

And another.

Quote
A big fat vampire wanted to hire me, and who was I to disagree?

Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Dante Inferno on December 25, 2007, 07:03:57 AM
Please, God, do serial killers drive Fords after midnight?
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: seradhe on December 25, 2007, 07:45:23 AM
Please, God, do serial killers drive Fords after midnight?

Just when you think the thread's gonna die...
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: THETA on January 01, 2008, 10:16:19 PM
Lines 3 and 4 are wonderful, but 5 is really cliche.  Cliche in the bad way too, not classic, but overused in a sense that too many crap writers use it, thus making it something less than desirable for an audience even if it is a good writer.

For the one story i've been actually developing is...

"Kill them!"

Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Guardian 452 on January 03, 2008, 03:16:37 AM
For me, a good first line is a bonus, but it isn't a hundred percent necessary.  Mind you, a bad first line can kill things right off!

Oh, and for favourite first lines, why hasn't this one appeared yet?

"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: seradhe on January 03, 2008, 02:29:51 PM
Oh, and for favourite first lines, why hasn't this one appeared yet?

"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."

I think because we're all on the same page that Dresden Files books all have great opening lines. though that one does rock.

Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Guardian 452 on January 03, 2008, 03:04:32 PM
You're probably right, but I had to add that one.  I've hooked three readers on Dresden with that line!

Keith
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: 13x13 on January 05, 2008, 12:56:39 AM
Thinking of one of these for the opening line for my book

I really regret not running over the lawyer when I had a chance.

Beware of lawyers bearing inheritances.

Title: Re: The first line
Post by: seradhe on January 06, 2008, 12:34:00 AM
Thinking of one of these for the opening line for my book

I really regret not running over the lawyer when I had a chance.

Beware of lawyers bearing inheritances.



I love the first one for the comedy of it. though the second gives us a nice foreshadowing into the rest of your story
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shep on January 10, 2008, 03:00:28 PM
First lines can be great attention grabbers.

Unfortunately, I personally suck at writing them. :(
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Quantus on January 14, 2008, 01:54:54 PM
It may not be for everyone, but I sometimes enjoy the books that start with a few lines of verse (song/poem), excerpt of imaginary quotes from some character, etc.  Sometimes it can set the mood of the world without having to leap right into the action or characters. 

What I hate are series' such as Wheel of Time (loved the books but hated the openings)  that start the same every time "the wheel turns and ages come and go and this wasn't the beginning but it was a beginning and I think ill just skip the first paragraph.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on January 16, 2008, 07:33:40 PM
It may not be for everyone, but I sometimes enjoy the books that start with a few lines of verse (song/poem), excerpt of imaginary quotes from some character, etc.  Sometimes it can set the mood of the world without having to leap right into the action or characters. 

What I hate are series' such as Wheel of Time (loved the books but hated the openings)  that start the same every time "the wheel turns and ages come and go and this wasn't the beginning but it was a beginning and I think ill just skip the first paragraph.

But the WoT books always start with a quote, a verse or a prologue, well before "The Wheel of Time turns..."
*scratches head*
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Quantus on January 16, 2008, 08:21:27 PM
But the WoT books always start with a quote, a verse or a prologue, well before "The Wheel of Time turns..."
*scratches head*

True true, and I read every long winded word of those books, loving every minute.  But that opening bit got real old real quick for me *shrugs*
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on January 16, 2008, 08:26:50 PM
True true, and I read every long winded word of those books, loving every minute.  But that opening bit got real old real quick for me *shrugs*

*shrugs right back* I dunno; that never bothered me, especially how he would slip in that little bit about where the wind was coming from to set up the chapter. The man could write like nobody's business; it takes someone like Jim, writing equally well in a totally different style, to catch my readerly interest so much.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Quantus on January 16, 2008, 08:53:46 PM
*shrugs right back* I dunno; that never bothered me, especially how he would slip in that little bit about where the wind was coming from to set up the chapter. The man could write like nobody's business; it takes someone like Jim, writing equally well in a totally different style, to catch my readerly interest so much.
Never said it makes sense or anything, it was just a little pet peeve of mine i guess. 

As to Robert Jordan himself,  I miss him, all the great things he could have written *hangs head in silence for a moment*   :'(
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: OZ on February 03, 2008, 08:39:11 AM
I am more a believer in the net. Unless I am reading something critically I don't tend to read line by line anyway. I like something in the first few pages that captures my interest though. Mystery writer Harlan Coben is probably the best I have read at doing this. He's not my favorite mystery writer (although he does rank in the top ten) but he consistenty writes some of the best opening chapters of any writer I have read in any genre. ( That is best at netting you into the mystery)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: KevinEvans on March 07, 2008, 01:11:48 AM
BTW, as a side note,
A friend of ours Brandon Sanderson ("Elantris", the "Mistborn" trilogy and "Alcatraz vs the Evil Librarians" has received the contract to finish the last book (12), he says it will be out Dec. 09.
Regards,
Kevin


Never said it makes sense or anything, it was just a little pet peeve of mine i guess. 

As to Robert Jordan himself,  I miss him, all the great things he could have written *hangs head in silence for a moment*   :'(
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: OZ on March 09, 2008, 05:12:23 AM
"My best friend when I was twelve was inflatable."

 This is the first line in Joe Hill's short story "Pop Art". It remains one of my favorite opening lines to a story. (And the short story it starts is one of the best I have read in a long time.)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Darklost76 on March 09, 2008, 04:57:31 PM
Here's one the first lines (or two) to something I wrote WAY back in high school (well over a decade ago)::

"For a while there, I thought life had a meaning. That obviously was when I was young and naive...and before the change."


And in amongst all of that high school writing stuff, I found this random, unrelated blurb that never went anywhere:

"Every coin has a light side and a dark side. Unfortunately, so do you. And the best part of the whole deal? The coin that decides the fate or your soul is constantly in motion. One moment, you are the perfect angel (literally)...and the next, you are the devil incarnate. (And everyone though that a woman with PMS had mood swings...?)"

Why that last little parenthetical thought got included, I don't know...



Ah...and here's one of those paragraphs that never got beyond that point:

"Life started off simple for you. Money. Power. Greed. You had complete access to it all. You had want of nothing. You already owned everything. That was...until Camille came into town. She had the look that would go perfectly with your power. The press would love this story. The only thing is...she snubbed your every attempt of seduction and flirtation. The flower arrangements were sent back...and the jewelry, as well. Nothing could persuade her to come to your side. Yet, the night came when she gave in and invited you over for dinner. That would be the night you will never forget.

She won't let you...."


Hrm...and here's another first sentence (or two)::

"I remember that first look into your eyes...standing there so quiet, so mysterious...and seemingly so alone. So lonely from the inside out...."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Kristine on March 12, 2008, 04:25:59 AM
How about some classics - some of these wouldn't of hooked me...
Famous First Lines:
   1. Call me Ishmael
   2.Marley was dead, to begin with.
   3.All children, except one, grow up.
   4. For a long time I used to go to bed early.
   5.Alice was beginning to tire of sitting by her sister on the bank.
   6.Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
   7.Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress.
   8.It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
   9.Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and razor lay crossed.
  10.When he was thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow.
  11.In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
  12.Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically.
  13.It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
  14.As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect.
  15.Mother died today. 

List of Authors:
      A)   James Joyce, Ulysses
      B)   Herman Melville, Moby Dick
      C)   Jane Austen, Pride and Predjudice
      D)   Marcel Proust, Swann’s Way
      E)   Charles Dickens, Christmas Carol
      F)   George Eliot, MiddleMarch
      G)   Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
      H)   F. Scott Fitzgerald, Great Gatsby           
      I)    Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
      J)    Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
      K)   D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover
      L)   George Orwell, 1984
      M)  Albert Camus, The Stranger
      N)   Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis
      O)   J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Answers:
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LizW65 on March 12, 2008, 01:00:35 PM
"Hell!" said the Duchess.

(No idea what that's from, but I like it.)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Noey on March 12, 2008, 01:06:06 PM
I like all of them except three, because it just doesn't seem specific enough.

I'm not bad at starting stories. It's just finishing them I have trouble with. Some of my favorites from my own stuff are:


From my untitled urban fantasy -
What I don't get is why I can swing a hammer at my orc friend's bare head and he's all down with it, but fling a paperclip at him unprepared and all of a sudden he's Mr. Surly.

These are lines I'm still toying with to start my epic, which I've written pieces of but still don't know how to start -
It's one thing to suspect I'm fate's bitch, but it wasn't encouraging when Fate herself confirmed it.

Sometimes, even godlike beings of unparallelled power just want a taste of cold beer and a foot rub. (I'm really eh on this one)

It wasn't hard for evil to feel confident when the apprentice to all things good launched herself out of an armchair, across five universes and a minor pocket dimension, only to land herself in a flurry of falling leaves among the upper branches of an oak tree somewhere in Michigan.

When time ceases to have any meaning, and the end of everything is ready to begin, it all came down to them: The pretty boy and the street rat, down by the lake.

And my favorite of all, from my short story Devilish:
The six damned souls sat in blue plastic chairs arranged in a semi-circle.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on March 12, 2008, 02:38:00 PM
"You're not going to believe this, but it was a dark and stormy night."

As things currently stand, the chapter that opens with that is no longer the first chapter - the book in question is a many-POV monster and one part of getting it right is shifting chapters around for pacing reasons - but I like it anyway.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LizW65 on March 12, 2008, 03:31:02 PM
"It was a stark and dormy night at Miskatonic U."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Noey on March 12, 2008, 03:44:20 PM
"It was a stark and dormy night at Miskatonic U."

Awesome. This gives me a great big gift basket full of demonic happy. I wanna read the rest of that story, Liz.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Quantus on March 12, 2008, 03:50:04 PM
"It was a stark and dormy night at Miskatonic U."
;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LizW65 on March 12, 2008, 04:53:06 PM
Awesome. This gives me a great big gift basket full of demonic happy. I wanna read the rest of that story, Liz.

There's no "rest" as of yet, but you're welcome to write it if you like. :)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on March 12, 2008, 06:27:41 PM
"It was a stark and dormy night at Miskatonic U."

Go 'Pods !!!
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LizW65 on March 12, 2008, 11:41:25 PM
"Hamsters make indifferent pets, and even worse grenades."

"Lady Victoria Templeton stretched langourously on the blue silk cushions of her fainting couch, and waited for the 'shrooms to kick in."

I know, I know, I'm just being silly now.

(And it's off topic, but I want to give a nod to my favorite exit line of all time, from my favorite play:  "I'll be reveng'd on the whole pack of you.")
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Starbeam on March 13, 2008, 01:19:22 AM
One opening line that's stayed with me since I read it was: "Death drove a green Lamborghini."  It's from a Dean Koontz book, but hell if I remember which one.  Which goes to show that a book can have a great catching first line, but that the book doesn't hold up to it. 

What gets me to read a book comes in steps.  First I'll read titles, look at the artwork, then read the blurb.  If the blurb sounds interesting, I'll read the first line.  If I like the first line, I'll skim the first paragraph/page.  Then if it still sounds interesting, I'll likely buy it and bring it home, and annoy my b/f because he says I devour books.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: meg_evonne on March 17, 2008, 06:41:00 PM
having just seen an adaptation of Tale for Two Cities in children's theater....

"It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times."  for openers and
for closing:  "It is a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done before."

Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on March 18, 2008, 02:21:23 PM
It was a beautiful, starry night, and whoever was in charge of Meteorological Omens needed an old-fashioned ass-kicking. I mean, if you can't rely on the weather for classic dramatic clichés telling you to get it in gear, it's too easy to get caught with your metaphorical pants around your figurative ankles.

Or, in my case, literal pants around actual ankles. Not a dignified position in which to start Armageddon, even a baby Armageddon. In a way, though, it was awfully convenient, because seeing Gabriel himself getting bitch-slapped through your very own, previously-unentered-by-supernatural-beings bathroom window is fairly likely to cause a reaction that makes having a toilet right there a very good thing. A very good thing.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Quantus on March 18, 2008, 02:23:11 PM
It was a beautiful, starry night, and whoever was in charge of Meteorological Omens needed an old-fashioned ass-kicking. I mean, if you can't rely on the weather for classic dramatic clichés telling you to get it in gear, it's too easy to get caught with your metaphorical pants around your figurative ankles.

Or, in my case, literal pants around actual ankles. Not a dignified position in which to start Armageddon, even a baby Armageddon. In a way, though, it was awfully convenient, because seeing Gabriel himself getting bitch-slapped through your very own, previously-unentered-by-supernatural-beings bathroom window is fairly likely to cause a reaction that makes having a toilet right there a very good thing. A very good thing.

For the Win!    ;D

Is there more of that story?
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on March 18, 2008, 02:24:29 PM
For the Win!    ;D

Is there more of that story?

Nope. That one just popped into my head and I thought I'd share.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Starbeam on March 18, 2008, 09:31:13 PM
It sorta reminds me of Good Omens.  Same sense of humor.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on March 19, 2008, 01:30:35 PM
With good reason - I think Good Omens may be the funniest novel I've ever read. Combine that with Jim-style snark and it's just what I want to grow up to be. ;)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Dusty Black on March 24, 2008, 08:41:07 PM
I'm a little late to this party, but here's something I started off with.

“Prepare to accept my seed, pitiful Earth female!” The foam rubber monster bellowed with his tentacles flailing wildly, “You will be the mother of an invincible race of super soldiers!”
   
“Uhm… Okay!” the vacuous blonde giggled and chirped. Her overly ample breasts bounced ridiculously as the monster chased her around a laboratory set so old that it probably predated film.  As they practiced their alien foreplay, both the blonde and the monster were blissfully unaware that the boom mic dropped down into the scene from time to time as if to say “hi”.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LizW65 on March 24, 2008, 10:48:20 PM
With good reason - I think Good Omens may be the funniest novel I've ever read. Combine that with Jim-style snark and it's just what I want to grow up to be. ;)

I'll second that!  ;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Cyclone Jack on March 28, 2008, 12:15:29 AM

I'm much more a last line guy. A lot of times, overtly elaborate hooks can feel artificial -- especially since, as first lines, they have to work before the reader knows anything about the fictional world. IMO, a good first line is three things: Informative about the story or character, promises conflict, and reads smoothly.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on March 28, 2008, 03:27:10 PM
I'm much more a last line guy. A lot of times, overtly elaborate hooks can feel artificial -- especially since, as first lines, they have to work before the reader knows anything about the fictional world. IMO, a good first line is three things: Informative about the story or character, promises conflict, and reads smoothly.

It really depends on whether the writer/editor/agent/publisher/etc. is hanging the whole shebang on one thing. Want to get 'em to buy and read the book? You need a good first line/paragraph. But if you want 'em to pick up the NEXT book by the same author, that opener needs to be followed by an equally good body AND finisher.

So unless the writer wants to be a one-shot, the whole damn thing has to be good... rendering all of this moot. Still, there are plenty of people out there who do not depend on reviews, synopses, blurbs and the like, who just pick the book up and look at the first page; they're a large-enough segment of the population to make a good opener a strong strategy.

... that being said, I also think the final bit determines the lasting impression the reader retains, so it needs to be a step above the rest of the book, just like the opener. Closing the circle, raising new interest, answering the question, etc. - all valid as long as they hit that satisfaction button in the reader's mind. F'r'instance, that opener I whipped out should be bookended by the character finally getting to have a nice, quiet sit-down... in the same bathroom (if the story is intended to be "hero wins it all and ties everything up nicely à la Hollywood"), in another roughly the same (if it's "hero wins but at a cost that's tough yet acceptable") or in an outhouse (if it's "hero just barely escapes in the end and reprioritizes to appreciate simply being alive"). ;)
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on March 28, 2008, 05:25:25 PM
It really depends on whether the writer/editor/agent/publisher/etc. is hanging the whole shebang on one thing. Want to get 'em to buy and read the book? You need a good first line/paragraph.

This is really not necessarily true; or at least, of the agents and editors I've talked to about this, the consensus is, if it's worth picking up in the first place, it's worth reading the first chapter/thirty-to-forty pages of, specifically because not every shape of story starts with a hook or wants to.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Shecky on March 28, 2008, 05:42:51 PM
This is really not necessarily true; or at least, of the agents and editors I've talked to about this, the consensus is, if it's worth picking up in the first place, it's worth reading the first chapter/thirty-to-forty pages of, specifically because not every shape of story starts with a hook or wants to.

But you're saying precisely what I was saying, just from the other side of the same coin - I was speaking of readers more than of agents/editors, since it's the reader's attention that matters in the end. The sector of the reading population that DOES open a book in the store and look at the first page (a sizeable sector) can be sold or turned off by that first page alone; once they've seen that opener, only THEN does the rest of the book matter. In the end, however, as I said, the whole book must live up to that opener or there won't be any RETURN business by that sector.

I specifically did not mention "hook" - there's a difference between a hook and a good opener. A good opener does not necessarily grab the reader, but it DOES pique his interest, whereas a pure-and-simple hook runs the risk of incurring a "Yeah, and?" from the reader.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Fantasie117 on April 05, 2008, 03:41:07 AM
I'm good at starting pieces, but man, I can't finish a long story for anything. When I'm at work, I see a lot of books on how to start a story. The whole idea of the "hook" and how important the first few pages are to getting the reader's attention. I can do that. A good ending, though. That's skill.

During my senior year of college, I had to write two stories, 75-100 pages each. One in the fall, and one in the spring. They both sort of just stopped because I'd run out of time and the semester was over. The fall semester's opening was: "I light a cigarette as the shack burns." I'm in the process of rewriting the story, but I kind of like that opening.

I've written more nonfiction pieces, mostly newspaper articles, and I really enjoyed writing leads. While most of my classmates hated leads, I had a lot of fun with them. It's the same idea as fiction. One or two sentences to grab the reader. One time, I wrote a piece on traveling to London, and the lead was: "London is calling." The follow-up began with: "London called. I answered. And it was good."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Tempus Corvus on April 13, 2008, 09:45:12 PM
This isn't a first line of a book, just of a chapter.

"Clink-clink-clink-clink. I didn’t know how Alketh had obtained a tin cup, given that our captors had made sure we had no metal accessible, but that was beside the point. The point was, I was dangerously close to taking it and bludgeoning him with it."

Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LizW65 on April 14, 2008, 12:01:31 PM
Here's my first line:

"Eighteen months ago, Jerry Straight left his Times Square office to get three corned beef sandwiches and a pack of Chesterfields, and vanished off the face of the earth."
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: terioncalling on April 21, 2008, 10:20:07 PM
Behold, the beginning lines and/or paragraphs from a handful of my stories and drabbles...

Medi Varnl, Book 1: Feloinain

Horac swung his fist at Tristol, knuckles connecting solidly with the younger boy’s cheek. The slightly taller fifteen-year-old was slung to the ground by the fierce blow and landed face down in the trampled grass and dirt beneath their feet. As he fell the cap he’d been wearing flew off, letting loose a curtain of shoulder length dark hair and a pair of furry ears that were far from human.

Black Chaos

I had no childhood; at least, not any that I remember. Any memories before my thirteenth year just don’t exist anywhere in my head. Not lost.  Gone.

Cleave

Handcuffs are number one on the list of things uncomfortable to wear.

Bones, a Love Story of Sorts

Birds chirped, a cool breeze rustled the leaves, and all seemed to be well around Sothan to Kalya. The young woman that had just passed into her twentieth year a few days ago turned where she stood and frowned at the jungles that seemed every year to get closer and closer.

Vampire Dust, Book 1: In the Darkness All Alone

Waking up with the scent of blood in your nose, I’ve discovered, is no fun way to wake up. Especially if you’re not exactly sure why you can smell it at all.

Medi Varnl, Book 2: Whekai

I am Julienka Moldrenke-Whebon. Though I would more gladly claim the name Bailn to be mine as that is the name of the man I gave my heart and body to. But it cannot be so.

Medi Varnl, Book 5: Pirate

Jumping off a ship in the middle of the ocean wearing nothing but a pair of ragged cloth pants that have seen many better days and some hastily put on bandages made from the remains of an equally ragged shirt is not the brightest idea. But when you’ve been captured by pirates that you know for certain kill anyone they take captive from a ship they’ve raided after they ply them for information…jumping into the ocean doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

A Magical Burden

Paper rustled and dark leather gloves carefully held the wanted poster as frightened hazel eyes stared at it.  There was a rustle of claws then and a rough voice growled, “Looks like they’ve upped the bounty.”

Unnamed

The world isn’t as nice as some might think.

Drabble: Eyesight to the Blind

“Mistletoe,” murmured the woman as she crouched next to the corpse, using a pencil to lift his hand.  The green springs and red berries stared back at her and she cursed, dropping her head into her non-gloved hand.  “Shit, he was a practitioner.”

Drabble: Hit the Ground

“Just make sure you hit the ground on your feet,” my Dad used to say.  “So long as you land upright, you’ll do fine.  Land on your back and there’ll be trouble coming to you.”

Drabble: Meant to Live

So, thought Terrence as he glanced around, this is it.  Death.

Drabble: People Are Strange

“You are strange,” commented Varin as he gave Ziggy a sideways glance.  He was still trying to figure out just why she was called that as nothing about her zigged.  Or zagged.  Or anything else with a ‘z’.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: bleet08 on April 22, 2008, 01:40:35 AM
That was a lot of reading!!  I was intrigued to see that the first line was a hook for some, and others it didn't even phase them.  I guess it depends on the type of book your picking up to read.  Like someone had said, I give it to the first 100 pages, and then go from there.  As always, my opener remains locked up.  ;D
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Spectacular Sameth on April 22, 2008, 06:14:55 PM
Stone the Apprentice
Quote
I rolled over onto my side, groaning.

Stone the Summoner
Quote
I gritted my teeth as the sludgy water drew up around my mid thighs.

Both of them are narrated by the girl in my avatar.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: LogicMouse on April 23, 2008, 03:32:44 AM
From Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash: No one I've ever handed this book to has been able to read the first paragraph and then set it down. 

Quote
      The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory.  He's got esprit up to here.  Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night.  His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air.  A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest.  Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.


From a short story I wrote a few months ago and will never publish (Can't, it's the dreaded fanfic):

     "I awoke from an old dream of my teeth meeting in a man's throat, and for a moment my mouth was again filled with the taste of hot blood and lingering darkness." 
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Hoodooed on April 24, 2008, 03:13:37 AM
Back in the day, when I bought my books in a brick and mortar store, I had a rather consistent pattern for deciding if a book of fiction was worth buying.

A novel I bought had to a) have a catchy title that stuck out on the shelf, b) have a back cover description that actually presented an idea of what the story was about, c) pass the reading of page 1 test where checked to see if the author’s writing and style caught my interest, and d) have a page count justifying the price.

The bookstore had a policy preventing people from standing at the rack reading magazines or books in any detail. They were of the opinion that if you wanted to read it buy it so I was limited in what I could do.

How important was the first sentence alone? Sometimes very, sometimes not, but something had to catch my interest rather than leaving me feeling like I should buy another book instead. Why not give your best shot at catching a reader’s interest at the first opportunity if you can?  It’s a bit different with me now that I buy most all of my books online.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on April 24, 2008, 04:09:02 PM
How important was the first sentence alone? Sometimes very, sometimes not, but something had to catch my interest rather than leaving me feeling like I should buy another book instead. Why not give your best shot at catching a reader’s interest at the first opportunity if you can?

Because not all stories work that way.  Forcing a hook on a story that wants a slow, measured opening does nobody any favours.
Title: Re: The first line
Post by: Hoodooed on April 24, 2008, 05:19:21 PM
I noted "if you can."  :P

 ;)