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McAnally's (The Community Pub) => Author Craft => Topic started by: Blitz on June 26, 2006, 07:50:07 PM
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Have you ever had a book suck you in from the very first paragraph? The first sentence? Some people think beginnings are the most important part of a book--the difference between hooking a reader and letting them get away.
I tend to agree with this idea. Many books that I've looked at were set right back down just because I didn't like the starting paragraph or it didn't interest me. But some I've read anyway. A big example for me was Harry Potter, when it first came out. I read the first page and found myself yawning, and as a result didn't pick the book up again until the hype began. Thus, the opposite question: does a poor beginning ruin the reading experience?
I've heard that beginnings are "make or break" for a story, and I just wanted to know what people around here have to say about it. Jim's books usually begin with fantastic first paragraphs, for example. Can you think of any others?
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
"Call me Ishmael."
"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
:)
A good opening sentence can really hook me in as a reader.
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The Dresden books do have killer opening lines, don't they? I think they're the best I've ever seen.
The exact impact of the opening lines depends on the reader, but you capture a bigger percentage of the readers if the opening is catchy for some reason. I don't think anyone has ever said, "The opening of the book was so great, I just had to put it down!" So, it helps more than harms to have a good opening. Which is obvious, I suppose. Anyway.
For me as a reader--I tend to keep on trucking for a while, so if the first line isn't near literally on fire ("The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault.") I'll keep going a bit more to see how it develops within the next few pages, but some people won't.
I don't think openings can ruin an entire story, but it can kill a book. Meaning, if the actual story is good, it will shine despite the opening. IE, Harry Potter (for some people). Kushiel's Dart (first 100 pages is a slog to some.) However, if a person drops a book because of the opening, they'll never get to the story-that-is-good. So an opening can kill the success of a book.
It's like a little town in a valley. They might make some killer jam, or crafts, or folk dancing, or hot rods, or something, but if the sign on the main road is too small, or not appealing, people won't be persuaded to make the trip into the town. They'll pass this great little place by, not ever knowing it was there. And all the jammeries and hot rodders will close up shop and start new careers in accounting. Or something.
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Opening lines are very important hooks...not only to grab the reader, but also to set the tone. Chris Moore and Max Barry have bizzare openings, so you know the book is going to be a bit on the zany side.
Jim's books do indeed have great lines. "It rained toads the day the White Council came to town" is another example.
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
Another board that I read is currently debating the "grammatical correctness" of that first line.
They think that better grammar would be "It was the best and the worst of times."
I think they have too much free time.
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
Another board that I read is currently debating the "grammatical correctness" of that first line.
They think that better grammar would be "It was the best and the worst of times."
I think they have too much free time.
Or, "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times."
Technically it can be broken down into two separate sentences. So to be grammatically correct, you'd need a semi-colon instead of a comma. Or whatever. It's still a good opening.
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
Another board that I read is currently debating the "grammatical correctness" of that first line.
They think that better grammar would be "It was the best and the worst of times."
I think they have too much free time.
The thing that they need to consider, is that grammar is constantly changing. What may have been fine two centuries ago, can easily be incorrect by today's standards.
That being said--there's a distinct reason I opted not to finish my M.A. in English--and Another board that I read is currently debating the "grammatical correctness" of that first line. would be indicative of it.
English grad students and PhD's are far too enamored (as a whole) with debating semi-useless arguments to death.
Case in point: There are whole series of arguments in journals over the tranlation of Two. Freaking. Words. in an old english poem called the Battle of Maldon.
Two. Words.
The mind boggles.
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Hell, there's been many, many deaths attributed to mistranslations of holy books.
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
Another board that I read is currently debating the "grammatical correctness" of that first line.
They think that better grammar would be "It was the best and the worst of times."
I think they have too much free time.
The thing that they need to consider, is that grammar is constantly changing. What may have been fine two centuries ago, can easily be incorrect by today's standards.
That being said--there's a distinct reason I opted not to finnish my M.A. in English--and Another board that I read is currently debating the "grammatical correctness" of that first line. would be indicative of it.
English grad students and PhD's are far too enamored (as a whole) with debating semi-useless arguments to death.
Case in point: There are whole series of arguments in journals over the tranlation of Two. Freaking. Words. in an old english poem called the Battle of Maldon.
Two. Words.
The mind boggles.
Don't forget the biggest gammatic issue of whether it's right or wrong of modern times, "to boldly go where no man has gone before." ;D
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So, simply put, yes. I've definitely read enough first-pages-of-books in the bookstore to know that if a first page is boring, I'm probably going to put it down. Conversely, if a first page reads like, well, a page from the Dresden Files, I'm going to drop what I'm doing and continue reading. A lot.
"Of course, forcing modern speakers of English to not -- whoops, not to split an infinitive because it isn't done in Latin makes about as much sense as forcing modern residents of England to wear laurels and togas. Julius Caesar could not have split an infinitive if he had wanted to. In Latin the infinitive is a single word like facere or dicere, a syntactic atom. English is a different kind of language. It is an "isolating" language, building sentences around many simple words instead of a few complicated ones. The infinitive is composed of two words -- a complementizer, to, and a verb, like go. Words, by definition, are rearrangeable units, and there is no conceivable reason why an adverb should not come between them:
Space -- the final frontier... These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
To go boldly where no man has gone before? Beam me up, Scotty; there's no intelligent life down here." (386)
And Finn is right - the whole killing witches thing? I've always been impressed with that one.
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Hell, there's been many, many deaths attributed to mistranslations of holy books.
Hmm...mistranslations, or "creative interpretation to impose one's own shortcomings/neuroses/psychoses" on the minds of others?
Power. Corruption
Absolute Power. Yada, yada yada. ;)
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Conversely, have you ever been hooked by the first line or page only to be disappointed in the rest of the book? That is, if you took time to finish it.
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I've had that happen with movie previews, does that count?
How's this for an dual opening:
The book sits on my nightstand, innocent in its trappings: a simple diary, encased in a simple cloth, the muted floral print stained and dirty. The small brass lock is jammed in the open position. The whole ensemble gives the impression of a child's diary, lost in the sandbox in school.
It scares the hell out of me.
The mist comes and we dare not separate. That was how we lost Charles.
It's a story within a story, so both opening lines had to grab the reader.
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i don't know about everyone else, but for me I generally don't like books that start out with a brief, tantalizing scene, heavy with the "action" of the story, the meat of the story, and then shift into the real (so to speak) beginning, which switches to something else entirely- usually some boring scene in the past.
I think you have to be a really fine author to pull it off. I think you have to be an unbelievablely fine author to pull it off so well that the reader is so sucked into both parts that they almost don't notice. Except for that very rare latter circumstance, I almost always feel like groaning when I come across a technique like that in a book. Even when it works (i.e. grave peril, wasn't it?)
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Grave Peril worked the second time I read it, but the first time, I kept feeling like I missed a book somewhere along the line, where Michael was introduced.
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Nice! Intriguing opening and you don't tell us the name of the book! ???
The book sits on my nightstand, innocent in its trappings: a simple diary, encased in a simple cloth, the muted floral print stained and dirty. The small brass lock is jammed in the open position. The whole ensemble gives the impression of a child's diary, lost in the sandbox in school.
It scares the hell out of me.
The mist comes and we dare not separate. That was how we lost Charles.
It's a story within a story, so both opening lines had to grab the reader.
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It's not a book, it's the story I won the Fencon contest with ;)
It used to be posted, but not any more...I need to get with Hastur and get it up, plus a few pics I've promised.
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I think that a killer opening line can go a long way toward encouraging me to read the rest of the book, but what follows needs to be good as well. I'll usually give a book the first chapter. If it hasn't hooked me by then, I put it down.
Having said that, I do think that the killer first line is WAY more important to a first novel than it is to later books in a series or from an established author. Good authors build up an account of "good author credit" with me. I'll spot them a slower opening if I've already read several of their books and enjoyed them. But for a freshman author, a boring first chapter is the kiss of death.
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Strangely, I felt that way about Terry Pratchett. My first book of his was Mort, and I couldn't get past the first chapter.
Years later, I picked up Soul Music, and devoured every book of his I could find.
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Grave Peril worked the second time I read it, but the first time, I kept feeling like I missed a book somewhere along the line, where Michael was introduced.
Grave Peril is the one book of Jim's where I just do NOT like the structure. I don't like the whole flashing back and forth thing. It bugs the hell out of me. *grumble*
As for beginnings of books- the opening of Dead Beat has got to be one of my favorite openings EVER. All the way up to the "for freaking caine" line. It's ranked in my mind just slightly above flaming monkey poo. ;)
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For some reason the Dresdon files just flow - each sentence just draws you into the next.
That is what I look for in the beggining of a book (minus textbooks)
I'm sort of sad right now I started to write a story but I can't get it to flow. no flow = no go :'(
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I am sort of odd...the first lines to things are not as important to me as the last. I have no problem trudging through a slow beginning. I may put it down for good if I get bored and I am still bored a few chapters in....but by that point,you can realize the characters are dull and that there's no spark. Which is different from just lacking a hook.
If I am wavering about a book- trying to decide whether to get it or whether to read (or keep reading) it...I'll often flip to the last page and see how it ends. The last paragraph at the very most. (I'm sure there are many gasps of horror, now). The truth is, if it's a book worth reading, the very very end won't reveal anything, or if it does, I'll have no context for it so it will be just as mysterious. If it's a book that ends in a cliffhanger, I know to wait until the next book is out to read it. Last lines leave a bigger impression on me. A book can have a fantastic beginning, but leave me with 'bad vibes' if it ends poorly. Or pointlessly depressing. Then I know to avoid it.
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A great first line, paragraph, and/or chapter is wonderful, but the rest of the story has to follow through. Jim's books consistently do this. I thought maybe I missed a story at the beginning of Grave Peril as well, but it didn't take long to figure out, "Oh, we're joining a story already in progress".
I have read some books (drawing a blank now) that the first few chapters were great and then somewhere in the middle it's as if the plot went out the window and the writer was just churning out so many pages to fulfill a contract. It's like seeing a trailer of a movie thinking, "That will be so cool! Can't wait till it comes out" then to discover while sitting through it-the trailer had a the best bits. Know what I mean?
Anyway, thanks Jim for being a wonderful storyteller! :D Shelley
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How's this for an dual opening:
The book sits on my nightstand, innocent in its trappings: a simple diary, encased in a simple cloth, the muted floral print stained and dirty. The small brass lock is jammed in the open position. The whole ensemble gives the impression of a child's diary, lost in the sandbox in school.
It scares the hell out of me.
The mist comes and we dare not separate. That was how we lost Charles.
It's a story within a story, so both opening lines had to grab the reader.
Wow, if the rest of the story is as good as that opening it's no wonder you won with it. :o
As a writer I've been very aware of the importance of a killer opening line. A lot of editors and agents brag they can tell if a book is any good in the first 5 pages. (Some just wish they could/ or are fooling themselves ::)) But I've spoken to several editors who say if that first line doesn't grab them, the submission is pretty much toast. They might force themselves through the first few pages but for the most part they're either already turned on or off.
As a reader though, the cover is what makes me pick up an unknown author and/or title.
After the cover I read the back blurb. (I hate hate hate books that don't give blurbs...authors that are so popular the publisher assumes readers will buy whatever they put their name on...true in some cases, but still damn irritating. **cough**Nora**cough** Ahem.)
It's usually not until after I've liked the cover and liked the blurb that I read the first lines/pages to decide...and still I'm a hard sell.
That's just me.
~Paige
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If you haven't grabbed me within the first few pages, you rarely keep me. Because usually, if the writing starts poorly, it's going to be poor all the way to the end. On a few occasions I've kept reading, if it's an author I generally like, but even then, if the book hasn't gotten better after a few chapters, I'm very likely to put it down and never pick it up again. So yes, the beginning of a book needs to be grabs-you-in-a-choker-hold-and-doesn't-let-go good; otherwise, you'll likely be in serious trouble as a writer.
That's why I love the Dresden Files so much. They always start off with a bang.
Sometimes literally. :D
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I sort of disagree. Not all books lacking a hook in the beginning are poorly written. They can't all start with a flash and a bang. I've read several good books in which a careful, quiet, slow beginning was necessary to the book.... books in which it was artfully slow.
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This is why I shouldn't make grand generalizations. :) In my personal experience, I've found that most novels that lack that special something to grab your attention at the start tend to be lacking in other areas as well. It might be the writing, the characterization, the plot, all of the above, etc. Good writers, however, tend to know that the beginning is important to a story, and thus start a novel off right, simply because they are good writers. The beginning doesn't have to be bombs-exploding, ninjas-dueling epic or anything, but it needs to capture your imagination. That's what I mean when I say a book needs to "start off with a bang": it doesn't necessarily have to be an action-packed start; it just needs to have a hook of one kind or another--it has to be interesting.
The book sits on my nightstand, innocent in its trappings: a simple diary, encased in a simple cloth, the muted floral print stained and dirty. The small brass lock is jammed in the open position. The whole ensemble gives the impression of a child's diary, lost in the sandbox in school.
It scares the hell out of me.
The mist comes and we dare not separate. That was how we lost Charles.
^This, right here, is exactly what I'm talking about. :) It's not a fight to the death or "a flash and a bang" kind of start, but this opening grabs your attention and makes you want to read more to find out what's going on. That's what I meant by an interesting opening. An opening can be both artful and still hook you like a fish. :)
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In a day and age of short attention spans and eyes set for sparkly, flashy things, I can imagine books without strong openings one way or another would be hard pressed to do very well. Of course, they'd have to have flashy cover art before any of that matters. But there has to be some sort of intriguing element to open a book, whether it's all bombs-exploding or just "that's so weird I have to keep going." I have a real problem with openings myself, wanting to make the perfect first impression and just trying too hard. Some chapters I've written start out better than the book or story itself. I suppose I should practice that, as those with short attention spans or who are a bit more discerning than the average person may not give me a second glance. :D
Anyway. Now that I've accomplished adding absolutely no new points to the discussion, I shall take my leave for the moment.
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I typically decide whether or not to buy a book based on its opening paragraph, but I've read good books with bad (or mediocre) openings. Sometimes the story needs to start slow.
If anyone cares, the current opening lines to my NIPP (Novel In Perpetual Progress) are:
Hammer-shaped warships tore across the throbbing crimson sky, louder than thunder.
Almost loud enough to drown out the screams.
I like it because it establishes two things right off the bat.
1.) I'm a fan of overwrought adjective use and have no qualms whatsoever about being corny as hell.
2.) I'm willing to use incomplete sentences in a third-person narrative, goddammit! And I'm willing to use them right off the bat.
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If anyone cares, the current opening lines to my NIPP (Novel In Perpetual Progress) are:
Hammer-shaped warships tore across the throbbing crimson sky, louder than thunder.
Almost loud enough to drown out the screams.
I usually read a few pages in order to judge whether or not I'll give it a chance, but if the first few lines/paragraphs absolutely captivate me, it's likely the rest of the story will too.
Terroja- I am captivably curious! What's your NIPP (mines the same way) about?
(Okay, so captivably is probably invented by moi, but is it not an amazing word?)
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Since someone just posted the opening lines from a NIPP (mine are only in perpetual progress cause I keep getting ideas for other bloody stories), here's the opening from one of mine.
A town burned.
It had been a quaint little place, just a small town out in the middle of nowhere. Everyone there had known each other by sight if not by name and there was little crime. They’d been content in their lives.
Now they were all dead. And their killers stalked the streets where they had once walked.
That's my story involving Heaven, Hell, a demon/angel friendship (wherein the angel drinks far too much alcohol), and a 12 year-old girl who's inhabited by a disembodied devil assassin.
Then there's the story I've been working on for...oh, since 2001 or so. I created a whole thing of vampires, slayer, witches, werewolves, and etc that run around NYC and create havoc. It's gone under three rewrites as of now (at least the first story has) and has a role-playing message board that's slowly dying a second death except for me and two friends just continuing on with our characters storylines. Here's the new opening, written from the main character Darien O'Connell's (a 300+ year-old vampire) point of view.
Remember when you were young and your mother always told you a bedtime story? Princes, castles, dragons, valiant knights, damsels in distress – the general pish and posh.
Or maybe you were one of those rare children who wanted the scary tales; the ones your mother never wanted to tell you and your father wanted to but couldn’t tell a story to save his life. Y’know – the boogeyman, werewolves, Freddie Krueger, Jason. The regular scare-the-piss-out-of-you stuff.
You might right now be asking yourself if there’s a point to all of this clatter. Yeah, there is. A sharp point lies at the end of this railway tunnel, so get a tighter grip on the rail of the caboose.
That was written after I started reading Dresden.
But back to topic...I suppose the opening line is usually what snags me in a story. Though its usually the first few paragraphs or so - that's what grabbed me about Fool Moon, first Dresden book I picked up...well, that and it was about werewolves and I LOVE werewolf stories. But nice catchy opening lines are good.
And what about this opening line?
In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. :)
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What's your NIPP (mines the same way) about?
Two people have used NIPP now. I wonder if that will become a popular term among writers on the internet and I'll know for the rest of my life that I created it. If that does transpire, I hope it's not the most significant achievement in my life!
*inhales*
Anyway, to answer your question, my book is entitled The Plague Of Meaning and is the story of a young thief of galactic renown on a quest to uncover the truth behind the destruction of his entire species at the hands of the human race. All the evidence points to the metacorporation, Sradkur Mediations Inc. and their president, The Exalted--a being of supposedly flawless rationality--being responsible, but if he is, then the question becomes: is one person's revenge worth the probable economic collapse and social upheaval that the death of such an important person would trigger?
The parallel story is that of a homeless beggar with little recollection of his past who discovers, after an attempt on his life by local authorities, that he has both an unquenchable hatred for all living things and the power to do something about it. He goes on a killing spree, murdering indiscriminately with his nearly endless powers.
Allow me a lame tageline:
That which ties their destinies together, may tear their souls apart.
Then, I throw in a giant sentient lizard with a penchant for eating people whole, a samurai, numerous implausibly large-breasted girls and women, a black fog made of pure despair that sucks the ife out of anyone it touches, a faceless creature with an elastic body and fingers sharper than a razorblade, psychics, bounty hunters, cannibals, an array of neat gadgets and drawn out descriptions of the most gruesome deaths my mind can imagine.
And hopefully the whole thing's got heart. I hate reading books without heart.
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Personally I love NIPPs. I plan to add it to my vocabulary and throw it at any writing class or group in hopes to be a part creating a new term.
As long as we're on the topic of NIPP openings, I'll throw mine into the mix:
Living on the third floor made life a little more interesting once Jake decided never to use the front door. A back door would have been convenient, even a fire escape.
The next line, as written, I don't like and currently re-writing.
I would like to read more opening NIPPs. Post 'em.
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I wouldn't say this is a NIPP. More like a NIRP.
First paragraph:
I thought getting fired twelve times in two years had prepared me for losing my job. (I had once even managed to get canned twice in less than twenty-four hours.) No one, however, is really prepared to have their place of work blown down and lit on fire by an angry witch. Maybe I was better able to handle it than most - at least she wasn’t angry with me.
It is, essentially, "a book I wanted to read, about things I wanted to read about, that nobody has written yet, and which I hope others will likewise enjoy".
--fje
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I wouldn't say this is a NIPP. More like a NIRP.
First paragraph:
I thought getting fired twelve times in two years had prepared me for losing my job. (I had once even managed to get canned twice in less than twenty-four hours.) No one, however, is really prepared to have their place of work blown down and lit on fire by an angry witch. Maybe I was better able to handle it than most - at least she wasn’t angry with me.
It is, essentially, "a book I wanted to read, about things I wanted to read about, that nobody has written yet, and which I hope others will likewise enjoy".
--fje
Sounds like a Dresdenish opening! I'm intruiged... ;D
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Ok, everyone write an opening line.. Now. Come on, you wanna.
If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that waking up in a body bag just plain sucks…but the first time is the worst.
Yes, that's the opening line for a novel I'm working on.
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Oh... all right...
They say waking up in a familiar place is a good thing. What they don’t say, is that when you do it, but have no idea how you got there, it is still just as unnerving. They also don’t mention how bloody annoying the alarm clock is.
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Some of these are really great. I wanna play too, but reading what's been posted here, I'm gonna have to try harder from now on.
::sigh:: :-\
One of these is published the other isn't. Not saying which is which...
“He’s one of the fallen,” Father Papous said, his thick arms crossed over the belly he’d wedged against the small wrought-iron café table. He looked pinched in the middle like a balloon animal.
“You think they’ll try to kill me?”
“Yes.” Zade wouldn’t look at her. His gaze fixed on the street lamp across from Isabel’s bedroom window. The light’s honey glow was a safer sight, by far, than the little witch drifting toward sleep behind him in the dark.
;D
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*searches out one*
The oddest things always seem to happen in the most normal of settings. For some reason, Fate or whatever – or whoever, if you want – controls the metaphorical strings of humanity seems to enjoy the chaos that incidents like these cause.
Guess everybody needs some kind of entertainment, right?
Opening lines from a werewolf short story I wrote for my creative writing class and am working on expanding into a novel.
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Well, this has already shown up elsewhere as an example, but here it is again:
There's a place in rural Illinois in the cornfields between Chicago and Champaign where if you asked the locals if they believed in the supernatural, they would tell you that they knew a Satanist that made devil's food cake that was positively demonic. And they'd grin a little when saying it.
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I rarely make a definite decision on whether or not I'm going to read a book by it's first line. That being said, when I do read a book that has an awesome introduction, I often give a little 'hmph', shift my position, look away from the book for a second, and then dive in. When I'm actually writing, I always take a ridiculously long time deciding on the first sentence and it usually ends up being something really simple, like 'It was raining again."
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I have no idea how I never noticed this topic. Beginnings that hook me are sooo important, especially now that I have stacks and stacks of books on my list. I've also had beginnings hammered into me in all sorts of writing classes. I honestly think Succubus Blues getting an agent was delayed by 6 months because I had a clunky opening chapter. I cleaned it up and got an agent shortly thereafter.
Jim's books are outstanding in this regard. Part of what hooked me was when I looked Stormfront up on Amazon and read those first few lines. I IM'd a friend immediately and demanded, "Why are we not reading this guy?"
Here are the first few lines of SB for those who are interested:
Statistics show that most mortals sell their souls for five reasons: sex, money, power, revenge, and love. In that order.
I suppose I should have been reassured, then, that I was out here assisting with numero uno, but the whole situation just made me feel…well, sleazy. And coming from me, that was something.
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I'm another one that rarely pays attention to first lines, with the possible exception of Watership Down. It's not often I remember them and if I decide to give up on a book (rarely happens), it'll be because the first 30 or so pages didn't hook me, not the opening line.
That said, here's one of mine:
It looked like a suicide, right down to the bottle of imp poison on the floor and the suicide note on the coffee table. But the buzzing behind my eyes was telling me different.
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I don't know that I have stellar opening lines. Some people say yes, others say "ehh." :D But here they are, in succession:
Nick's Tavern is in the worst part of town. The front door opens onto a back alley and the back door dead-ends inside another building. The Fire Code wasn't in effect when the building was built---Nick's has been there that long.
The scent of snow on the wind raised the hairs on my skin like distant lightning.
The sweet stench of rotting flesh on the breeze assaulted Antoine's nose, even before the buzzing of flies reached his ears.
I like to set a mood . . . a tone in the opening line that gives you the here and now of the character's moment in time. Sometimes I achieve it, and sometimes not. ;)
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I have a poor memory, or rather one that seems bent on remembering tons of trivia instead of the poems I love and useful data, lol So when I do remember a line from anything (or its title!), it means something.
In this case it has been years since I touched the book, and yet the moment I saw this topic, among the hundred books I've read, it came right back to me that THIS one had an opening paragraph worth looking around my dusty bookshelves.
Imagine opening the book and coming across the first paragraph, like this.
"Once a thing is known it can never be unknown. It can only be forgotten. And, in a way that bends time, so long as it is remembered, it will indicate the future. It is wiser, in every circumstance, to forget, to cultivate the art of forgetting. To remember is to face the enemy. The truth lies in remembering.
My name is Frances Hinston and I do not like to be called Fanny. I work in the reference library of ...."
Anita Brookner - "Look at me"
A. Brookner is one of these incredible British writers who excel at studying people (I'm not British but I'm biased in their favour, lol. Don't mind me, I like others too :) ). Here in a few sentences one has the gist of the book: a ordinary story on unrequited love, a study in character, and a few times across the book, a sudden plunge into something much deeper where the main character's suffering is never directly expressed but reaches to you in a very quiet and composed voice.
Not only that, but you know from the start not to be fooled, because this seemingly innocuous story on ordinary people is written by someone with a very sharp eye and mind.
Can you tell I was entirely hooked by that beginning? :)
Athanasia
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Since someone just posted the opening lines from a NIPP (mine are only in perpetual progress cause I keep getting ideas for other bloody stories), here's the opening from one of mine.
A town burned.
Awesome, awesome opening line.
One my all time favorite opening lines, one which sent a chill down my spine the first time I read it, and continues to as it periodically echoes in my head, is the first line of Stephen King's The Gunslinger;
The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.
That's from memory, and I bet it's to the letter if you looked it up. You know it's good if you can read it once and remember it like it was your own. I read that book probably 2 years ago, and haven't looked at that line since.
Openings are my favorite parts to write. It's the Swampy Middle that discourages me.
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Actually, this is an opening line for a novel that would be third in a seriesI'm planning (Right now, only the first one is 60% plotted)
The mind is a funny thing. My thoughts as I was flung backwards was not 'this is going to hurt,' or 'how did this happen?'. No, it was 'when I get my hands on that Elf, I am going to have fun bouncing his head off the floor.'
Craig
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The tale of two cities begging just confused me to the point that I wont ever read it again
I was like just make up your mind already and show me some plot
seriously i think that charlse dickons was on p*t
(no not poot)
trboturtle - thats an awesome first line - send me the rough draft please
ps also like your username - my turtles are proud
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I do not, in general, like hook beginnings. Some stories want a hook, and some want a net. Mind you, I'm OCDish enough that I have only once that I can remember since 1990 not finished a novel that I started. Your milage may vary - and probably does, because I think in kilometres.
Three opening paragraph(ish)s of mine:
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To tell a tale should be a simple thing. They are not little deeds, these
of which I write. To set down heroic acts as they occurred, one after the other
in order from beginning to end, should be enough to bring into being a romance
fit to fire a dead man's heart. And yet it is not. Before quill touch scroll
or spell of remembrance mark the world, there are a thousand thousand decisions
to be made. I have cursed my tale and consigned it to perdition in yonder fire
more times than you would well credit, and yet. And yet. The story must be
told. I do not doubt that some wretched poxy half-telling of those times has
made its way to your ear - minstrels will earn their drink on it until all
worlds' end, and with no more of truth in their recitals than in any other
tawdry ballad told over a fire. I wish my tale to shine forth true and bright
as steel, and find myself at once perplexed.
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There had been thirty thousand humans on the Cyrano de Bergerac when it arrived in this system; thirty thousand individuals of that extroverted, fascinating, endlessly strange species had come to live on the planet which they named Elysium, a hundred and fifty Earth years and nearly two hundred of the planet's own in the past. DeepSight had no idea how many more lives thirty thousand humans might bring into being over that span of time, with a whole planet to fill, but the number would not be small.
According to the signals there were twenty-eight of them left alive in the Elysium system.
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They think they understand it, now, this Secretary of State Linebarger and his bleedin' shadow soldiers. They give me these books to read and take my notes and comments as if it mattered. They think they know where it began and why it came out this way and why the rats are here in the Big Apple after my hide, after so long. And maybe they do. But they weren't there at the beginning, and I was, before anyone knew who Onkel Adolf was, before the Iron Moons and Mosley and the Bomb and everything. To listen to them, you'd think it was that poor mad bastard in Serbia who set the course of the twentieth century, but I was there ten years later when the shot came that really changed history, shivering in the rain on Upper Mount Street in ratty old pants and boots way too big for me, in O'Sullivan's squad that had made a bollocks of things as usual, waiting for word from the Big Fella to tell us what to do next. Seemed so little at the time, just another street fight in a city full of street fighting, but I remember it, oh yes; March 22nd in the year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and twenty-eight, at half-past ten in the morning. I was there the day Jack Kennedy died.
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I remember reading in some how to write mysteries book that one of the authors in it thought that almost any rough draft worked better with the first sentence/paragraph removed, making the first line have more impact.
"The car slowed down as it pulled in front of me, the driver rolling down his window as he leaned out. The gunmetal glinted in the light as the barrel focused in on me." Would this work as an introductory paragraph of Chapter 5? Sure. But cut that first sentence out and the opening line looks a lot stronger without the description in front of it.
The Abstruse One
Darryl Mott Jr.
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I remember reading in some how to write mysteries book that one of the authors in it thought that almost any rough draft worked better with the first sentence/paragraph removed, making the first line have more impact.
"The car slowed down as it pulled in front of me, the driver rolling down his window as he leaned out. The gunmetal glinted in the light as the barrel focused in on me." Would this work as an introductory paragraph of Chapter 5? Sure. But cut that first sentence out and the opening line looks a lot stronger without the description in front of it.
The Abstruse One
Darryl Mott Jr.
Interesting. I think I like this technique. I might try it with my current project.