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The Dresden Files => DFRPG => Topic started by: bitterpill on February 05, 2011, 11:52:00 PM
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I was trying to stat multiple Homunculus/Artificial Humans (the backstory being that the Homunculuses was created in a Experiment by Kemmler on the Easter Front to prove he could become God and that they were made using the souls and bodies of multiple sacrafices). For a Eastern Front based Horror investigation game.
I was trying to stat the Homunculus similarly to the ones show in the anime in Full Metal Alchemist so they would have near instant regeneration (mythic regeneration with the catch its limited to about hundred full regenerations) and an assortment of other power including shadow manipulation, A Combat Hacked Version of Cassandras Tears , Physical Immunity with Catch of Thamaturgy or Necromancy etc. Each of the Homunculus is meant to provide a party of 5 submerged PC with a hard fight. Does anyone have any ideas?
Here one I made earlier
Greed
+1 (Immunity and claws requires Perfect Shield form)
-7 Physical Immunity (catch things that can reasonably affect a being made out of an indestructible carbon-based substance)
-5 Mythic Regeneration (catch limited to a number of Philospher Stones each containing 20 stress)
-1 Claws
-2 Inhuman Strength
-15 Refresh
Is it too overpowered ?
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I haven't seen the anime. I've read part of the manga. So the following thoughts are not necessarily accurate or reasonable.
Anyway, they all have Supernatural to Mythic Recovery except for maybe Wrath and Sloth. Envy has True Shapehifting and a few points worth of Modular Abilities. Lust has a vastly stronger version of Claws with a bit of range. Greed has Human Form modifying Mythic Toughness (or maybe even Physical Immunity) and Claws. Sloth has Speed, Toughness, and Strength at very high levels. Gluttony has Strength and Human Form modifying a really lethal power that I'm not sure how to stat. Wrath has an unfair custom power and a whole pile of stunts. Pride has incredibly lethal shadow manipulation.
Unfortunately, the Homunculi vary enormously in power and so you'll have to monkey around with them a lot if you want them to each challenge a Submerged party.
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yea thats about right for greed but the shield is the wrong homunculus,the steel body was for a different one.
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A very intersting idea, hehe... Good luck on the full presentation of it... Now here is my little 2 cents...
Where did you pick up the idea that they have something like a Combat Cassandra's Tears? I'm not sure if they showed anything more than a huge number of skills due to being as old and active as they normally are... But I guess I could be wrong on that, hehe...
As far as the regeneration goes, maybe do something along the lines of they can regenerate along the lines of the red stones they used to keep themselves alive... Maybe ever person that is thus "used", turns into a single stone, or maybe every increment of people provide enough to attempt one. Then you also get into the idea of that while they may be creatures made my magic, they are completely unable to use it themselves, thus have to find promising individuals that they may teach some lesser form of Ritual to, in order for them to try to reach some goal they want *shrug* I know I'm ripping horribly from FMA now >.< Feel awkward doing that, hehe...
But it was just as an idea, so you can have an idea of a set amount of times Mythic Regeneration can bring them back "from the dead" and such. Maybe keep track of the total amount of Stones each of your villains has attributed to themselves, and that their total regeneration comes from the stones. So if each stone is worth a mortal life, then each stone then has a total value of about... 20 shifts worth of consequences, maybe more depending... But that would be a good possible place... A little bit more definitive then just 100 lives, and also more manageable for the PC's in general, hehe... Just a bit more difficult on paperwork :P
The only other thing, is while I understand the Catch of Thaumaturgy, I think its a little too difficult of one to be used in combat.. Thaumaturgy similar to the way Ed used Alchemy just really isn't doable, unless the individual has Sponsored Magic, and even then, it would have to be a particular kind of Sponsor in order to get the kind of Thaumaturgy you'd need... Maybe some form of Earth Evocation Catch, where the individual has to basically "make an attack on the very physical make up" of the homonculus, IE place a maneuver on him, that they need to tag the NEXT exchange, before the effects go away. I'd also think of giving him Supernatural Toughness as well, with the same catch. Thus, if I'm getting this right, It'll turn into Inhuman Toughness once the catch is used. I only state this, cause Greed in particular was a bitch to kill, and even after the catch was achieved, he had SOME level of toughness left to him...
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The idea of Combat Cassandra's tears was for Wrath whose 'Ultimate Eye' could predict a persons next action a very short term precognition, actually haveing a limit of about 20 or so lifes to the mythic regeneration in the form of philospher stones is a nice idea, The earth manouvre idea is pretty good idea adding fragile aspect.
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About Greed: the Claws should also be affected by Human Form. And I take issue with your catches. Necromancy seems too restrictive. I'd prefer something more open-ended, like "things that can reasonably affect a being made out of an indestructible carbon-based substance". Sure, it's a mouthful. But it gives non-necromancers a chance to do something. Also, the Physical Immunity could actually be "just" armour 10 or so. After all, that's what Greed's power is: really, really, really good armour. The Catch on Recovery is good, but it ought to be worth at least 1 refresh.
What were you thinking of in terms of skills and stunts?
PS: Wrath's ultimate eye might be best represented as an aspect that can be tagged every turn.
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The idea of Combat Cassandra's tears was for Wrath whose 'Ultimate Eye' could predict a persons next action a very short term precognition, actually haveing a limit of about 20 or so lifes to the mythic regeneration in the form of philospher stones is a nice idea, The earth manouvre idea is pretty good idea adding fragile aspect.
There is a Lore Power/Stunt called 'A Few Seconds Ahead' that uses Lore for dodging because you can see ahead. Abby has it, somewhere in Our World.
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For greed in terms of skill would be a
+6 Endurance
+5 Fists, Presence
+4 Athletics, Conviction, Deceit etc
For Wrath Legendary: Weapons, Alertness (both at a plus 2 due to his eye)
Fantastic : Athletics, Deceit, Presence, Empathy, Rapport, Deceit, Conviction
and a bunch of other high skills.
For Wrath I decided to give him such ridiculous skills instead of powers, his insane weapon skill and alertness is the result of his power and give him also he would have a bunch of social stunts.
I don't know where to start for the others.
Things that can reasonably affect a being made out of an indestructible carbon-based substance, is a good catch for Greed though I can't think of an example of what would fufill it. I will update the claws.
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There is a Lore Power/Stunt called 'A Few Seconds Ahead' that uses Lore for dodging because you can see ahead. Abby has it, somewhere in Our World.
Wrath could use something similar using Alertness rather Lore.
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Wrath really doesn't need such a stunt/power for physical combat. After all, he's got sky-high Weapons and Athletics. But he could certainly use it socially.
I'd actually be pretty keen on taking a crack at Wrath myself. I'd give him far lower skills, but loads of stunts to compensate. Do you mind if I try it?
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sure, I probably should off set the thread as a challenge anyway as some of the Homunculus are really hard to stat, If I was to give Greed Amour 10 as his Physical Immunity would it make to stat it as Physical Immunity (Catch Very High Damage -1) -7 or -10 Ultimate Toughness (+10 stress + 10 Armour)
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Ehh, I would just stick with normal Physical Immunity. Otherwise, you start getting into some really weird things, that aren't really covered in either settings, and once you open the box, it just won't stay shut, until you put everything back in it.
And I was about to suggest the exact same thing for Wrath, a similar version of the power abby has, but using alertness, or some other very appropriate skill instead... Because while Altertness may SEEM to be the best pick, I would ALSO peg Alertness to be what Abby used in the books as well, but that doesn't seem to be the case...
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The idea of Combat Cassandra's tears was for Wrath whose 'Ultimate Eye' could predict a persons next action a very short term precognition, actually haveing a limit of about 20 or so lifes to the mythic regeneration in the form of philospher stones is a nice idea, The earth manouvre idea is pretty good idea adding fragile aspect.
Hehe, I'm glad you liked it... I kinda enjoyed the idea of while the Mythic Recovery can even prevent them from dying, even when they don't "die", it is still taking away from their "Pool" of Red Stone energy... Another simpler way of doing it, is simply saying that lets say, the current Homonculis in question only has 5 fully powered red stones within them... Translate that into an easy 100 shifts worth of recovery, with Mild taking 2 shifts to recover, Moderate 4, and Severe 6... That makes for a monster of a combatant, even with only a true 5 stones worth of energy... The catch, being once the energy is out, the target is about just as mortal as anyone else. And normally, I wouldn't consider allowing a power to recover from being truly dead, but in reality, they were never alive to begin with, just a construct working off of the life energy of the Stones... You wouldn't mind if I maybe used something like this in my own game, would you? ;)
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No I wouldn't mind its a cool idea isn't it?
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And here's Wrath. He was fun to make, since he's got eleven stunts. You'll notice that he doesn't have Contacts or Resources worth spit. That's because I decided that Father was the one with those skills. If need be, Wrath can invoke his Born And Raised To Serve Father aspect to have Father make a Contacts or Resources roll for him.
Anyway, Wrath should be a serious threat to a Submerged party.
King Bradley (In A Submarine)
High Concept: Homunculus Fuhrer Of Amestris
Other Aspects: Getting Old, Loves His Wife, Born And Raised To Serve Father, Ultimate Eye, Cheerful Facade, Invincible Master Of The Sword
Skills:
Fantastic: Weapons, Alertness
Superb: Presence, Athletics
Great: Deceit, Rapport
Good: Endurance, Conviction, Empathy
Fair: Fists, Might, Discipline
Average: Lore, Investigation, Scholarship, Stealth, Intimidation
Stunts:
Secret Homunculus (Deceit): +2 to Deceit when hiding his true nature.
The Weight Of Reputation (Presence): May use Presence to intimidate as long as his identity is known.
Leadership (Presence): Leading a group is at +1 and happens one time increment faster.
At A Glance (Alertness): May use Alertness to perform a visual examination of the sort normally performed with Investigation.
A Few Seconds Ahead (Alertness): May use Alertness to defend against social attacks.
Master Of The Battlefield (Weapons): May use Weapons +1 to make assessments and declarations related to fighting.
Footwork (Weapons): May use Weapons to defend against ranged attacks.
Perfect Parry (Weapons): +2 to Weapons defence when armed with a sword.
Multi-Wielding (Weapons): May wield a second weapon and add half its weapon rating to that of his primary weapon.
Superior Multi-Wielding (Weapons): +1 to hit when wielding multiple weapons.
Master Of The Sword (Weapons): Attacks with swords inflict +2 stress.
Powers:
Marked By Power (Father/Amestris) [-1]
True Aim [-1]
Inhuman Strength [-2]
Inhuman Speed [-2]
Ultimate Eye [-3?] Free tag every exchange in combat.
Total Refresh Cost:
-20
Refresh Total:
1
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Thats genius, ;D You have managed to stat him wonderfully and keep the feel of the character, thanks.
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And here's Wrath. He was fun to make, since he's got eleven stunts. You'll notice that he doesn't have Contacts or Resources worth spit. That's because I decided that Father was the one with those skills. If need be, Wrath can invoke his Born And Raised To Serve Father aspect to have Father make a Contacts or Resources roll for him.
Anyway, Wrath should be a serious threat to a Submerged party.
King Bradley (In A Submarine)
High Concept: Homunculus Fuhrer Of Amestris
Other Aspects: Getting Old, Loves His Wife, Born And Raised To Serve Father, Ultimate Eye, Cheerful Facade, Invincible Master Of The Sword
Skills:
Fantastic: Weapons, Alertness
Superb: Presence, Athletics
Great: Deceit, Rapport
Good: Endurance, Conviction, Empathy
Fair: Fists, Might, Discipline
Average: Lore, Investigation, Scholarship, Stealth, Intimidation
Stunts:
Secret Homunculus (Deceit): +2 to Deceit when hiding his true nature.
The Weight Of Reputation (Presence): May use Presence to intimidate as long as his identity is known.
Leadership (Presence): Leading a group is at +1 and happens one time increment faster.
At A Glance (Alertness): May use Alertness to perform a visual examination of the sort normally performed with Investigation.
A Few Seconds Ahead (Alertness): May use Alertness to defend against social attacks.
Master Of The Battlefield (Weapons): May use Weapons +1 to make assessments and declarations related to fighting.
Footwork (Weapons): May use Weapons to defend against ranged attacks.
Perfect Parry (Weapons): +2 to Weapons defence when armed with a sword.
Multi-Wielding (Weapons): May wield a second weapon and add half its weapon rating to that of his primary weapon.
Superior Multi-Wielding (Weapons): +1 to hit when wielding multiple weapons.
Master Of The Sword (Weapons): Attacks with swords inflict +2 stress.
Powers:
Marked By Power (Father/Amestris) [-1]
True Aim [-1]
Inhuman Strength [-2]
Inhuman Speed [-2]
Ultimate Eye [-3?] Free tag every exchange in combat.
Total Refresh Cost:
-20
Refresh Total:
1
Hehe, cool work on that so far ^^ Just wanted to mention though that the previously mentioned ability Abby had was a Minor Power, with a -1 refresh. It also worked on both Social and Physical events. Was this a new idea you had by chance?
And while I understand the means for trying to stat out The Ultimate Eye, I wouldn't worry too much about a Refresh on it... Once you start statting it out TOO much, you may have players trying to get in on using something similar to it, and honestly, its definatly something that should stay out of player hands >.< But for THIS particular villain, its understandable.. I'd also maybe move to say the free Tag the eye presents is either "limited" to his own aspect of "Ultimate Eye" or it provides one, "The Eye Sees All" or something similar perhaps...
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Thank you and you're welcome.
Anyway, I don't like Abby's power. I like stunts and when powers come along and make them completely useless I get sad. So I chose not to use it. Besides, Wrath has 9 defence with Weapons and 6 with Athletics, so he doesn't need a defence of 6 with Alertness.
jybil's points about the ultimate eye are totally correct, by the way. The tag should be restricted to his Ultimate Eye aspect. Of course, that's a very broadly applicable aspect so it doesn't matter much. And yes, players should be kept away from this. But I wanted Bradley to have exactly 1 refresh in order to represent that he has only a small amount of free will. In order to give him 1 refresh, I had to have a definite cost for everything.
It's very possible that there is more to Bradley than this. I haven't read the whole series. So if anyone has anything to add, I'd appreciate it.
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Shadow Manipulation [-1]
Description: You are able to use your shadow to physically manipulate objects, not only that but your shadow is malleable to your will. You can stretch it across great distances or coalesce it into a small area.
Options: This ability costs 1 refresh to start and has several upgrades to it.
Skills Affected: Fists, Might
Effects:
Shadowy Hand. You can manipulate objects with your shadow. You can lift objects in accordance with your might, and attack using fists. In addition if you possess inhuman strength or greater your shadow gains those benefits as well.
Deeper Shadows [-1]. Increase the weapon rating of attacks made with your shadows by +2.
Lasting Shadows [-1]. Your shadows take longer to dissipate, allowing you to spread your attention across a battlefield. Any aspect placed with Shadow Manipulation automatically becomes sticky.
Wall of Shadows [-1]. Your shadows have become so dense, so impenetrable that creatures without the cloak of shadows ability are almost utterly incapable of seeing past them. You may use your Shadow Manipulation to create a defensive block opposed by alertness.
Shadows Fall [-1]. Your shadow is capable of growing much larger than it should be, allowing you to attack a whole zone with it (at a -2 penalty).
I was thinking of using the above power for Pride with an addition of Mythic Strength a so she would have a +8 weapon attack to everyone in Area is about though not quite as lethal as the source it still pretty potent.
Pride Powers would be
-5 Shadow Manipulation
-6 Mythic Strength
-5 Mythic Regeneration (catch Philospher Stone)
-4 Supernatural Speed
-4 Mimic Abilities
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I don't like that custom power much, but don't let that stop you from using it.
Anyway, Pride should have solid Deceit, Intimidation, and Fists. Not many stunts, maybe just one offering a bonus to Deceit when pretending to be a harmless child. Human Form would also probably be appropriate, perhaps with a limitation about the level of light in the area.
Other than that, your writeup looks good.
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Its hard to stat shadow manipulation the closest thing to it would be a form of channeling but with no mental stress limit? Do you know a good way to stat something that lethal which dosen't require stress?
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What you have there is actually a good start. But there are problems with it, both in the version you have and in the one on the Custom Powers thread. The problems that I see with the one you have there are as follows:
1. The range is unclear.
2. Might be too cheap if compared to Breath Weapon.
3. You should be able to grapple with shadows.
4. Lasting Shadows is weak, and not worth a refresh point.
5. The effects of Wall Of Shadows are unclear. The effect might be better as part of the base power.
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Shadow Manipulation [-3]
You can manipulate your shadow to become a powerful weapon, Shadow manipulation has range of up three zones away and counts as +2 weapon attack, it's attack roll is Discipline or fists and it's Might score is Conviction or Might. It can be used for anything that a normal limb could be used for including Grappling as well as being able to ambush the enemy using disipline as its stealth roll. (This power may be benefited by the Strength Powers)
The shadows have eyes [-2] The Prerequisite Power for this ability is Cloak of Shadow
You do not need to see your opponents to attack them with shadow manipualtion as long as you are within the three zone radius as your shadow can see for you, this also means your shadow can make awareness checks as if you were there in person.
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I more or less like it, but there are still a few quibbles.
First, the base power could be cheaper since it seems to already include several add-ons.
Second, it isn't clear whether this works with Strength powers. If it does, then Razor Shadow and Crushing Shadow might need to be removed.
Third, The Shadows Have Eyes looks too expensive to me. I don't see why it couldn't cost one refresh.
Fourth, it might be better to let people use either their Fists/Might or their Discipline/Conviction as they choose.
This might sound negative, but I promise that I don't mean it that way.
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Third, The Shadows Have Eyes looks too expensive to me. I don't see why it couldn't cost one refresh.
For one Refresh, one could purchase the Supernatural Sense power, which, I believe, would allow one to see in the dark.
The shadows have eyes [-3]
You do not need to see your opponents to attack them with shadow manipualtion as long as you are within the three zone radius as your shadow can see for you, this also means your shadow can make awareness checks as if you were there in person.
That said, this seems quite a bit more powerful than Supernatural Sense to me. It would probably be a low-Complexity Thaumaturgy effect (maybe 13-16 shifts), but an at-will three-zone-long Darkvision with the implied Remote Sensing effect (some of those Zones may have perception borders) is certainly worth at least 2 Refresh. 3 may even be too low.
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Really? How often will seeing three zones away be useful enough to justify that cost?
Maybe -2. I can understand why it would cost -2. But -3 is a lot, equal to Evocation, Thaumaturgy, or a dozen ordinary supernatural senses.
By the way, as written that power doesn't let you see in the dark. I think that maybe Cloak Of Shadows ought to be a prerequisite for this power.
Regardless, I think that Pride should have Cloak Of Shadows.
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Really? How often will seeing three zones away be useful enough to justify that cost?
Maybe -2. I can understand why it would cost -2. But -3 is a lot, equal to Evocation, Thaumaturgy, or a dozen ordinary supernatural senses.
By the way, as written that power doesn't let you see in the dark. I think that maybe Cloak Of Shadows ought to be a prerequisite for this power.
Regardless, I think that Pride should have Cloak Of Shadows.
When it says that the Shadow can make awareness checks for you, three zones away, in the dark, I infer (perhaps wrongly so) that it imparts the equivalent of seeing three zones away in the dark. Which is very handy when you're three zones away from danger you ordinarily wouldn't be able to see. Also, from the lack of a direct reference to intervening perception barriers, I infer that it is akin to Remote Viewing.
Bitterpill, would someone with this ability be able to see around corners three zones away because they are seeing through the shadows? Or is it really just darkvision, and a physical barrier could still block perception?
Regardless, I think that Pride should have Cloak Of Shadows.
Always a good ability!
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I repeat: as written, it doesn't let you see in the dark. But even if it did, it would still only be the equivalent of three supernatural senses: one to see in the dark, one to see around corners (I also think that it can do that), and one to see from up to three zones away. Three senses together is worth 2 refresh.
Of course, it's weaker if Cloak of Shadows is made a prerequisite the way that I'm starting to think it should.
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The reason I made the base power -3 was because Breath Weapon another weapon 2 long range attack had a lower range than shadow manipulation and also did not have the Ambushing Benefit which can be looked at as like a stunt swapping a stealth roll for a fists or discipline roll which accounts for the additional plus 1 refresh over Breath Weapon.
The reason the shadows have eyes is so expensive is because it allows a player 3 zones away in hiding to attack the enemy freely at 'safe' distance which means that he will probably be able to attack the enemy several times before they even find him. This is a very big advantage and one that might even be worth four refresh. It is akin to remote viewing as your shadow can move round corners etc and relay what it see's directly to you it would be able to see in the dark being a shadow, think of it as being able to see through the eyes of a familiar with an effective range of 3 zones.
I will add the fact that shadow manipulation can be used with both discipline or fists and might or conviction thanks that is good advice, the fact the power could be used with conviction was the main reason I included crushing Shadow to give it some of the bonuses it could not get through the strength powers.
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Of course, it's weaker if Cloak of Shadows is made a prerequisite the way that I'm starting to think it should.
Taking into account bitterpill's update, I could possibly justify a 1-Refresh discount for already having Cloak of Shadows.
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Making Cloak of Shadow a prerequisite makes sense and also benefits some of the abilities of shadow manipulation and is the same kind of power giving the shadows have eyes a -1 rebate for Cloak of Shadows makes sense as it comes with the dark-vision of Cloak of Shadow and as to some degree a natural extension of that power.
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I meant that it could be a refresh point cheaper with no weapon rating or with no range. Or two points cheaper with both.
Then again, it might not be a good idea. The addition of the different usable skills and the ambushing benefit might be too cheap for one refresh. So feel free to disregard that.
So, does it work with Strength now?
And I suppose 2 refresh for a character with Cloak of Shadows is reasonable.
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Your right I may as well ditch those powers and just allow strength bonuses thanks that simplifies the Power. It dosen't make sense to give a rebate to only using shadow attacks as using shadows is more effective with a three zone range and the posibilities of multiple attacks before the enemy can respond. For Pride I would solve this by saying that his powers were give human form limitation.
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Are you saying that Strength powers don't apply if you are using Conviction/Discipline? Because that seems a bit over-complex.
Why not just ditch Razor Shadow and Crushing Shadow and make Strength apply to all uses of this power? It seems to accomplish what you want in a more simple way.
Another power option that returns one refresh in exchange for limiting your Strength to apply only to your shadow might be appropriate. But I'm worried that it might not be a meaningful drawback.
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Do any of you know how I can get the party to find a small kid hiding three zones away (city scape so no clear views) before they all die, I was thinking of allowing them to roll lore (arcane senses) or Survival or Alertness vs the Prides stealth skill for hiding as a supplemental action. Should I modify thier rolls for the distance and the cover but would that make it impossible for them to find Pride who already would have the benefit of Veil of Shadows.
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If Pride ambushes your players, they should probably die. He's very powerful.
Maybe you could have him ambush another character that the players are travelling with. That would give them some time to find him.
By the way, can you make a spray attack with shadow control?
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Spray attacks makes thematic sense for the power (well you have read the manga he seems able to hit multiple people at once), the only reason I thought pride should ambush them is because in the manga mosts of his battles are ambushes whilst he is somewhere else. Getting pride to kill the guide makes sense which will give the party the opportunity to figure out where he is. Actually it would be quite a good scene them are travelling through an ‘abandoned’ City in Russia and suddenly there guide has a blade of shadow poking out of his midriff.
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Yeah, that sounds like a good image.
I hope your players will be alright. Pride is the homunculus that other homunculi are afraid of, after all.
Could you post the final version of Shadow Manipulation that you'll be using for him?
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Shadow Manipulation [-3]
You can manipulate your shadow to become a powerful weapon, Shadow manipulation has range of up three zones away and counts as +2 weapon attack, which can be used as a spray attack. Your shadows attack roll is Discipline or fists and its Might roll is Conviction or Might. It can be used for anything that a normal limb could be used for including Grappling and is also able to ambush your enemies using discipline or fists instead of stealth as its stealth roll. In addition if you possess inhuman strength or greater your shadow gains those benefits as well.
Requires Veil of Shadow -1
The shadows have eyes [-2]
You do not need to see your opponents directly to attack them with your shadow manipulation as long as you are within the three zone radius your shadow can see them for you. Your shadow receives all the benefits of veil of shadows (night vision and +2 to stealth checks); your vision ignores all border penalties as your vision is being relayed to you directly by your shadow.
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Name: Pride (In a Submarine)
High Concept: Shadow Controlling Homunculus
Trouble: Bound to Central
Other Aspect: Oldest of the Homunculus, Strongest of the Homunculus, Fuhrer President's Fake Son
Powers
Veil of Shadows -1
Shadow Manipulation -3
The Shadows have Eyes -2
Mythic Strength -6
Human Form +2 (can only use above powers when it is not totally dark)
Mythic Regeneration -5 (catch Philosophers Stone +1)
Mimic Abilities -4
Shadow Hammer [-1] you can attack an entire area with your shadow at -2 to your attack roll.
True Strike [-1]
Stunts
Shadow Master +1 to attack rolls using shadow
Shadow Guard +2 to defence attempts using shadow manipulation
Harmless Kid Defence: +2 to Deceit rolls for pretending your harmless
Total Refresh Cost -24
Refresh Total: -3
Skills
+6 Discipline
+5 Deceit, Conviction
+4 Lore, Stealth, Intimidation
=3 Rapport, Scholarship, Presence
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What happened to the zone-wide attack option? I liked that.
Pride's Human Form ought to be +2.
What sort of skills are you planning to give him?
And finally, I'm actually concerned that he might not be powerful enough. As written, Wrath could probably take him. Putting him into negative refresh might help with this. Of course, you still want him to be beatable. So be careful, etc.
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Is that any better I edited it
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Yeah, it looks better now. Wrath is still too much of a threat, but mostly because
a) I overstatted him a bit
and
b) the Ultimate Eye is hax.
So yeah, that looks solid. Add some skills and you're done.
PS: Are you sure about the balance of using mental stress for Shadow Hammer? It worries me slightly.
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I was not sure about the mental stress but I know some people think all area of effects should require some, but I will probably go with the -2.