ParanetOnline

McAnally's (The Community Pub) => Author Craft => Topic started by: LizW65 on March 11, 2009, 02:33:09 PM

Title: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: LizW65 on March 11, 2009, 02:33:09 PM
Click here:
http://vandonovan.livejournal.com/1088311.html
for one of the most hilariously purple passages I've ever read!
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Shecky on March 11, 2009, 02:35:13 PM
That's just... gleefully awful.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Starbeam on March 11, 2009, 02:42:21 PM
Brain go smush.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: LizW65 on March 11, 2009, 04:38:17 PM
FWIW, the author, Ron Miller, is described on Amazon as "unfairly talented" by none other than Sir Arthur C. Clarke.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Lash Dresden on March 11, 2009, 05:11:16 PM
This totally needs a NSFW tag. Because, seriously, how do you explain laughing until you cry when you should be working? 
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Delarith on March 11, 2009, 08:30:40 PM
Oh my, that is the very same book I picked up once in the bookstore and put back after reading a few paragraphs.  I'm glad I wasn't those particular pages but the names are vaguely familiar.  As is the sentiment.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Aine on March 11, 2009, 08:37:51 PM
You broke my brain.  Why you break my brain? 
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: JRBobC on March 12, 2009, 05:08:30 PM
Owww!.  Just damn, and OWWWW!.  What the heck.  If you want bad porn go rent it, sheesh.  That stuff will give you a disease just reading it.  Ack.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Shecky on March 12, 2009, 05:17:08 PM
Yeah. An asocial disease. :D
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Quantus on March 12, 2009, 11:12:10 PM
I work at a cologne and perfume factory, so I have to ask:  How exactly does one have the "fragrance of a Gibbous moon"?
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: belial.1980 on March 13, 2009, 01:22:36 AM
I work at a cologne and perfume factory, so I have to ask:  How exactly does one have the "fragrance of a Gibbous moon"?

Maybe she smells like green cheese? Not exactly a turn on if you ask me.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: PapaBear on March 13, 2009, 12:50:11 PM
Oh man, you know what that reminded me of? The Eye of Argon.

Now excuse me while I go bleach my brain.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: LizW65 on March 13, 2009, 05:18:59 PM
I work at a cologne and perfume factory, so I have to ask:  How exactly does one have the "fragrance of a Gibbous moon"?

Maybe the folks who are making those "Eau de Star Trek" fragrances could do something with that.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: JRBobC on March 14, 2009, 03:55:29 AM
I work at a cologne and perfume factory, so I have to ask:  How exactly does one have the "fragrance of a Gibbous moon"?

Why do I have visions of tuna swimming by....

 ::)
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: thausgt on March 21, 2009, 02:02:35 AM
I work at a cologne and perfume factory, so I have to ask:  How exactly does one have the "fragrance of a Gibbous moon"?

Perhaps synesthesia? "A neurological condition in which the brain interprets one set of sensory input in terms of a different one; i.e., 'smelling' shapes, 'tasting' sounds, 'seeing' scents, etc."

It would certainly explain the... florid... prose of the rest of the exerpt. However, given that many cases of the phenomenon are almost as unique as handwriting, we still don't know what a "Gibbous moon" would smell like. Though a highly unpleasant image involving a man named Gibb is fighting its way into my conscious thoughts, despite my fervent resistance... :D
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: belial.1980 on March 23, 2009, 11:31:48 PM
Perhaps synesthesia? "A neurological condition in which the brain interprets one set of sensory input in terms of a different one; i.e., 'smelling' shapes, 'tasting' sounds, 'seeing' scents, etc."

Can't certain narcotics produce a similar effect? Maybe he was just trippin' b@llz...
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Quantus on March 24, 2009, 09:12:37 PM
Well, not my preferred literary mode, but hey it worked for Lewis Carrol  :P
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Lorenstone on April 01, 2009, 06:09:51 PM
Well, not my preferred literary mode, but hey it worked for Lewis Carrol  :P

Nonsense.  Everything Carrol wrote was quite meaningful.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Quantus on April 02, 2009, 03:26:38 AM
Nonsense.  Everything Carrol wrote was quite meaningful.
Im sure it was (though i feel much of what people that meaning was is pure hogwash), but that doesnt exclude much of it from being drug induced influenced. 
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: THETA on April 08, 2009, 07:42:59 PM
*gags*
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: The Dread Pharaoh Roberts on April 10, 2009, 02:01:48 AM
Oh dear God...
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Rick James on April 10, 2009, 04:56:03 AM
Hurk~!
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: SWChaos on April 21, 2009, 10:32:49 PM
I work at a cologne and perfume factory, so I have to ask:  How exactly does one have the "fragrance of a Gibbous moon"?

Initially I thought it said "Gibbons Moon". Wow, she smells like a monkey house?

And he actually describes "Her Pubes"? Contact Harlequin we got us a romantic over here.

HAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: Starbeam on April 21, 2009, 11:18:19 PM
There are links on there to drawings of what she would look like with the descriptions.  It was something like 3 or 4 drawings to even try to get all of em.
Title: Re: How Not To Do, Part Deux
Post by: intergal on April 21, 2009, 11:40:25 PM
Oh how I lol'd.

By the way, I saw this thread and thought some of you would appreciate "How to write slash like a kid!"/ Please let me know if I've posted this in the wrong place though.

**Mini-warning: I think it's about the same level of NSFW as the previous link, but the author intended to be very tongue-in-cheek**

 How to Write Slash Fiction like a Kid! (http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2633106/1/How_To_Write_Slash_Like_A_Kid)