Poetry Feedback?

[kero319]

Hey guys, I'm a member over here at voicesnet.org and I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind stopping by and giving your two cents. I've recently submitted two poems to different magazines, but before I spend more time doing that, I could use a little extra criticism. So feel free to check out any of my poems here:

http://www.voicesnet.org/allpoemsoneauthor.aspx?memberid=103447

[meg_evonne]

When I attended the Arizona Writer's Conference, I sat in on a wonderful woman, and I mean incredible woman, named Peggy Schmaker (I think? argghh, stupid memory). She's from Pacific Lutheran in seattle so go google her...

Anyway she told the story about an editor who had a standard decline letter that went something like this, "I wouldn't know a good poem if leaped up and bit my arse, therefore I am returning yours." I like that.  Much better than another story she told about a new poet who had her poem returned in torn up, little, tiny pieces.  --  IMHO - If that happens, it isn't your work, the poor ditz is obviously dying of cancer and forgive them.  or they just got canned for not recognizing brilliance!

But truthfully, I haven't the slightest idea when it comes to poetry and my opinion would mean dip-whatever....  You might try posting it on dresdenverse.com and see if you get any comments.  There is a thread where you can post poems that is really cool.

[Tech L. Me]

Poetry isn't really my cup of tea most of the time but "The Wolves" was interesting, I could see so many situations that it could be a metaphor for. I liked it.

[Starbeam]

I didn't read too many, and skimmed a little more than really read em.  But what I've noticed is that you're pretty uniform in line breaks, pretty much always breaking at the end of a phrase/sentences.  Some of the poems I looked at do have a very good seed of an idea, but they look like they're at the point to get nitpicky about line breaks, word choice, and use of white space.  One thing my poetry prof said in the classes that I took, that really stuck with me, is that a poem should have to stories to it.  It should have the obvious one that's right on top, and it should have a secondary story which is what's open to interpretation.  The best example of this off the top of my head is Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."  A quick google search, and the best example of using white space and line breaks is e.e. cummings.  Possibly also Shel Silverstein, though I don't remember exactly the look of his poems.

[kero319]

Thanks for taking the time to look at them, guys, I appreciate it. I never really thought about using white space and my spacing, so I'll be sure to look into all that. I've read the Road Not Taken, its heavily emphasized in schools, so I see where your going. I'll continue to work on my poems, as well as my stories. Thanks guys.

-Alex