Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do

[Archangel62]

The funny thing about the jokes concerning Batman and Robin is that historically, it was a common thing to happen, not the gay parts.  Craftsmen for centuries took boys into their homes as apprentices, to train them up in their own speciality, so all Bruce Wayne did was find a boy whose need for Revenge was as great as his own and train him.

IIRC, Robin was not supposed to be so brilliantly costumed but in something closer to the Batman's own outfit but a combination of factors over-ruled this, including Kane's refusal to have Batman and mini-batman, thus the bolder costume.

Most of the gay jokes about Batman seem to have come about because of the television series and to be quite honest, they were just short of flaming in that.  In the books themselves, Bruce Wayne had an active sexual life, as much as the times would allow and when he was older, so did Dick Greyson.  My impression of the books did not show Bruce Wayne as the sort of date which a willing woman could not score with or be assured that no matter how willing she might become, her virtue would be safe.

IIRC, he had a sexual relationship with Catwoman in the books and they had a daughter.  Now it's not that gays can't have sex and babies but I never saw Catwoman as the type that could accept sharing.


Finally, you could say much the same about Eb's taking Harry into his home.  It is not as if the robes of a White Council Wizard are that macho to begin with.  He sure as hell put Harry into as many dangerous scrapes as Batman did with Robin.  All Robin could do was die, Harry could have lost his soul.

Yes, however Superdickery.com has some rather amusing bits involving the running gag.

[LordDresden]

The funny thing about the jokes concerning Batman and Robin is that historically, it was a common thing to happen, not the gay parts.  Craftsmen for centuries took boys into their homes as apprentices, to train them up in their own speciality, so all Bruce Wayne did was find a boy whose need for Revenge was as great as his own and train him.

IIRC, Robin was not supposed to be so brilliantly costumed but in something closer to the Batman's own outfit but a combination of factors over-ruled this, including Kane's refusal to have Batman and mini-batman, thus the bolder costume.

Most of the gay jokes about Batman seem to have come about because of the television series and to be quite honest, they were just short of flaming in that. 

Actually, the main source seems to have been a crusading type who came up with the notion that comic books were a root cause of juvenile delinquency, named of Fredric Wertham.  He appears to have been a trifle...overwrought.

[Raestlin]

I am not allowed to let Bob go out free-ranging with Mister, at least not without having Mister fixed....I dont want Bob being the cause of a cat-demic...

[Gallowglass]

I am not allowed to get Mister fixed.  In fact I am not allowed to get anything that has nice sharp claws that can return the favor, fixed.  Unfortunately that includes Mab, Maeve, Lara and others too numerous to mention.

To think it over, maybe I should just stop hanging around with females with claws, just in case.

[Denise11]

Most of the gay jokes about Batman seem to have come about because of the television series and to be quite honest, they were just short of flaming in that.

Yeah I still remember Adam West shaking his moneymaker doing the Batusi (sp?) at the disco....sigh, those were the days.

[One Duck]

the Batusi looked fun!

[Half man-half amazing]

I am not allowed to declaw mister....Mister already made his point last time I tried.

[General Disarray]

When showing people my apartment, I must never utter the words "and this is where the magic happens."

[Murphy's Stunt Double]

Hah!  That was good, GD!

[LordDresden]

When showing people my apartment, I must never utter the words "and this is where the magic happens."

However, I am allowed to smile knowingly when Stacy says the same thing... 

[AdamC]

I will not tell Thomas that Ralwins needs urgent protecting at oh..around 2am.

I will not put a foodbowl in my apartment that say Billy, no mater how much fun it would be to see his reaction.

I will not write ntoes to Ivy during council meetings asking her for Latin translaitons, no mater how great that would be.

I will stop referring to Marcone as my best frenemy.
a- Nor will I ask him to watch Mister when I go out of town. He almost said yes last time.

I will let Murphy and Michael decide the flow of the conversation. EVER.

I will not tell Bob about

(click to show/hide)

Luccio

period.

I will not call up Morgan and ask him for advice on women.

I will not go back to Thomas' apartment and make another scene with Mouse simply becuase I'm bored.

I will not answer any phone calls form Maeve after midnght, period.

I will not use forzare to remove Larry Fowler's wig at inopportune moments.

I will not ask Michael if I can borrow a shovel because I "lost some change".

I will not attend council meetings with a shirt that say

(click to show/hide)

"sleepin' with the boss"

[Half man-half amazing]

I will not ask Nic if he was a cradle robber.

I wont let Bob use the LC for his personal asmument

I will not let Butters talk me into bringing back Sue to crush his bosses Jaguar...Larry Fowler is a different story.

I will not slip Morgan and the Merlin some viagra in their drinks....again.

[Jamamma]

I am not allowed to give Murphy a pair of elevator shoes for Christmas....I do not want to have a broken leg over the holidays...

However disco platformers with the lil goldfish may go over decently well. ..  I think.

I will not enchant said shoes to continue to dance an irish jig ... murphy may still be able to kick my ass, or she may chop off her legs and then come after me.

I will not make my potions for mass market retail

I will not enchant any sexual item and give it to thomas as a gift, even as a gag gift.

I will not help new trainees by telling them their wands have phoenix feathers in them and unicorn hair

Nor will I saunter around the training camp with a lightening bolt scar on my forehead complaining about stupid british writers getting the story all wrong.

Nor will I call Cowl 'Voldemort' from now on.

I will not ask the Merlin which house he was trained in, nor will I imply it was Slitherin.

I will not go to any Dungeons and Dragons conventions and show off my 'leet skillz' of wizarding.

If LARPing as a wizard I will not cast real spells. No matter how much the others would try making me their king.

I will not go to Vegas to try my hand at controling the dice, or at cards, or using my murphyonic field to win at the video poker/slots. Larry Fowler was bad enough, I do not need more of Marcone's 'friends' mad at me.

Even though I have so much issues with knew fearie and beasty types cropping up, I will not ask Bob to create a pokedex, and even if he did, I must refrain from uttering 'gotta catch em all' ... But if Thomas ever gets a STD I will not hold back, even though he may kill me.

I will not create a throwable binding spell... wait, why am I not doing this? Ah right, they sometimes break free, and carrying one on my hip would not be good.

If I ever become high again, I will not trick out my staff with 'rad stickers' and paint any warrior women onto the Blue Beetle.

Setting a hight requirement to enter my bedroom may give people the wrong idea, so I must not do that. Not only would it tick off Murphy, but the little folk I have watching my place would be really confused.

I may not gather a small army of remote controlled cars and chopsticks to have backyard jousting matches between the fearie folk, even if the prize is Pizza.

I will not act like Gargamel, and the feary folk are not Smurfs, so I will not try to eat them, or turn them into gold. Which ever was his original intention, it changed episode to episode.

I will not enchant my car so that Bob can occupy it. No matter how much I like knight rider.

[Jamamma]

I will not slip Morgan and the Merlin some viagra in their drinks....again.

Would it not be funny if he only spiked one drink with Viagra but both of them suddenly had the effects?

[Wolfeyes]

If I ever feel the need to jerrybuster during the White Council meeting to stall time for my plan to work/calvalry to arrive/ to piss off Merlin I will not pull out the Phonebook and read all the names and numbers from start to finish.
a) If I do feel the need to jerrybuster, it will be with copies of the Harry Potter series, complete with commentary.