I will not claim to be a patron of the "saint of floor waxers"
I will stop teasing the girl scouts.
I will not teach people 'how to get their groove back'
I will not give tours of the field museum stating "This is where I reanimated Sue" nor will I give tours of the Nevernever, claiming it to be a 'really psychodelic experience'
I will stop arming the fae with iron, the other sidhe are starting to complain
I will not start narrating Murphy's life as if it were a wild kingdom special on short people.
I will not make a play-dough golem the same size as me, nor will I make Bob a body out of the same.
I will not have Toot hide inside of my duster, just so I can say "Meet my little friend"