Next time I see Mavra, I will not walk with my legs stiff and arms out in front of me. "BRAAAAAIIINNSS!!"
- I will quit having Butters try to send Cowl bootlegs of the "Thriller" video.
- I will not keep trying to convince the DMV that the Blue Beetle needs a handicapped tag for ITSELF because of permanent damage from fungus demons.
- I will stop attempting to teach Mister to spray Thomas' Hummer.
- This is definitely the last year I send the Nickelheads Christmas cards that say "PWNED!" out loud when opened.
- I will no longer pretend "Vaarsuvius" is Latin for "Harry Dresden" at Council shindigs.
- I will stop telling the female Alphas that Mouse is hot for them.
- You'd think I would've learned my lesson by now about pointing my blasting rod at Marcone and saying, "Say hallo to my li'l fren'!"
- Catnip is NOT a fun diversion while trying to speak to Mab through Puss-in-Boots.
- Trying to make my sword-cane look like a lightsaber is just asking for trouble.
- I promise to stop showing around the voodoo doll of Merlin that's kissing its own ass.
a. And the one of Morgan with a giant stick up his.
b. And the one of Luccio with the...
- Playing dolls with Ivy is just wrong. Especially for the people she made them to resemble.
- Explaining my rune-covered duster followed by saying, "You oughta see the matching codpiece," will never get me anywhere.
a. Except deeper into the rumors about Thomas and me.
b. And except on Fire Island.
1. On second thought, it won't even work there.
- Telling Molly her next homework is to learn how to turn her clothes invisible will get me killed so hard, I'll never have been born.
- Hexing traffic lights never works out right. Never.
- Though it break my heart, telling Murphy that my source of information is WZRD Radio is now a no-go.