I have a question. Maybe I'm too much of a bloody n00b to post this, or haven't made enough posts for a while, or maybe this is just a strange mood talking.
I just finished reading Small Favor (no, I'm not going to spoil anything) and talking to a local published author. I have a pretty decent friend editing team, and a great english prof. I have encouragement on all fronts.
I have no idea what the hell right I have to write.
Okay, that makes no sense, so maybe I should clarify how I think about writing... When I write, I don't think of it as creating, really, I think about it as... I'm a scribe for the loonatics residing in my skull. But after reading Jim and a number of other books, some ameteur fanfiction that is just amazing when the writer doesn't even have english as a first language, I feel like a bumbling fool. I'm utterly inarticulate. It's like I have the same paints as the good authors do, but I'm trying to freaking fingerpaint when I need a millimeter fine brush. I have no idea how the heck to improve. I give myself assignments, I try to work out characters, and none of it seems to do much. I'm an English/Psych major. I already had to let go of one of my favorite sciences, chemistry, because the kind I like is outdated, all done by computer now. I'm just wondering if in writing I'm going to have the same problem.
If I try to write romance, all people seem to want is smut, and a certain amount of jaded-ness seems to have killed my ability to construct gossamer webs of romance. I fail utterly at constructing other worlds, sci-fi and fantasy is out. Urban fantasy is my niche, and yet I can't come up with decent characters.
I'm not going to ramble anymore, I don't even know what the hell I'm saying... Just looking for anyone in similar positions, or if anyone knows what on earth I'm rambling about. *head/desk*