potential synopsis

[seradhe]

ok, so I've actually managed to get one of my stories to a point where sending it out to publishers is a real possibility. Now comes the part where I realize I have absolutely no clue what to send. Thankfully this forum has helped me a lot with that (after several hours of scrolling through old posts). So I've got a decent letter made, and have worked out a synopsis of the storyline. it reads a lot like the back-of-the-book deal, but it could work.. thoughts...


Dr. Margaret Ross Had it all. She is in charge of one of the top molecular physics labs in the world, considered the authority on atomic structure. And to top it all off her fiance of seven years had finally proposed. Then it all came crashing down with the discovery of the theta particle, a unique Micro-molecule that appeared to respond to human thought patterns.
Now she's a fugitive. Everything Margaret owns has been taken away from her, and even the one man in her life she trusted refuses her calls. Forced to trust a complete stranger, and running away from a government that wants to weaponize her discovery, and a mysterious organization that will kill to keep certain secrets hidden.

[the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh]

Dr. Margaret Ross Had it all. She is in charge of one of the top molecular physics labs in the world, considered the authority on atomic structure. And to top it all off her fiance of seven years had finally proposed. Then it all came crashing down with the discovery of the theta particle, a unique Micro-molecule that appeared to respond to human thought patterns.
Now she's a fugitive. Everything Margaret owns has been taken away from her, and even the one man in her life she trusted refuses her calls. Forced to trust a complete stranger, and running away from a government that wants to weaponize her discovery, and a mysterious organization that will kill to keep certain secrets hidden.

That's not a synopsis, that's a blurb.

What publishers want from a synopsis, sfaict, is a summary of the plot that indicates that it holds together all the way through and has a decent ending. In other words, don't hint at secrets, show how cool they really are.  Fewer of the adjectives, more straight description.

[ Publishers have people to write blurbs.  I'm not aware of any published authors who get to write their own. ]

Also, calling your theta particle a micro-molecule suggests heavy-duty handwaving and not knowing much physics; there are SF editors for whom this may well be a disadvantage.

Also also, you hop back and forth between past, present and pluperfect tense in this para; the recommendations I have had suggest doing synopses entirely in present.

[seradhe]

Thanks.

after re-reading it I am inclined to agree with you, I should not work on such things when sleep-deprived (take note the time I posted that).

I was trying too hard for the "pick me up and read me to find out what's happening!" style, way too needy from my standpoint.

As for the Physics and science fact regarding the story, I'm still juggling between a particle or an energy wave for the final draft. the initial concept was inspired by the Dust from the "His Dark Materials" trilogy. As I'm writing, I'm consistently picking at my Fathers mind (aerospace engineer and true renaissance man of sci-fi), as well as my collection of decade-old college physics books for terms and definitions.

[myrdinemries]

How close to reality are you trying to make this?

If you're trying to get as close as you can, I'd make your Oh-my-God Particle a type of Boson. They are the "force particles"; ie. light (photons), strong nuclear force (gluons), gravity (the theorised graviton), etc. A fundamental  force that responds to human thought would be plenty for a government to freak out over, and seems to fit what your blurb has shown about your story.

Also, to discover any new particles you really need a particle accelerator. Preferably a really big one. You may want to model your lab around CERN's Large Hadron Collider.

[the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh]

If you're trying to get as close as you can, I'd make your Oh-my-God Particle a type of Boson. They are the "force particles"; ie. light (photons), strong nuclear force (gluons), gravity (the theorised graviton), etc. A fundamental  force that responds to human thought would be plenty for a government to freak out over, and seems to fit what your blurb has shown about your story.

If I wanted to do this, I'd go from some of the spookier stuff about observer effects in quantum mechanics, though if you do that, the standard you're likely to be compared against is Greg Egan's Quarantine, which might be worth having read.  [ And which is a good book and worth reading anyway, though not Egan's best. ]

[Shecky]

Have some sleep-deprived, wacky scientist in your story dub it the "menton".

[myrdinemries]

If I wanted to do this, I'd go from some of the spookier stuff about observer effects in quantum mechanics, though if you do that, the standard you're likely to be compared against is Greg Egan's Quarantine, which might be worth having read.  [ And which is a good book and worth reading anyway, though not Egan's best. ]

My only real problem with that is that "observer effect" is used to refer to several different things. You could definately create a good storyline from several of them though...

I suggested a new form of boson since that is a feasible idea, and could be included with a minimum of technobabble. 

Have some sleep-deprived, wacky scientist in your story dub it the "menton".

*wince*

[Shecky]

What? In Heinlein's fictional World-as-Myth philosophy, they called the elements of reality created by powerful fiction "fictons". It could work.

[myrdinemries]

*re-wince*

It could work...

...yeah. 

[seradhe]

*slaps forehead* I shoulda just asked for help on the science fact for this story... In fact I am running out of sources for advise. here's a quickie on what I got.

The laboratory in the novel contains a micro-<insert scanning-type apparatus here>, which produces a flat beam of light with a thickness of 1/10,000,000 of a millimeter across a set pane. photo-sensors underneath the light emitter record the light, magnifying and displaying the subatomic universe well within standard visual range. Dr. Ross Notices during one scan a particle that shows as tiny even under the intense magnification, and appears to be present in every element. Further inspection finds that the particles generate a type of gravitational field and appear to be holding the larger molecules in order. A failure to follow procedure in the lab results in the realization that the particles respond to human thought waves, in fact actually realigning molecules to a persons will given enough focus and base matter.

I gave them the surname 'Theta' because of the correlation to Theta waves in the brain. so far Particle seems to work as the rest of the name, though I have no real classification for it aside from the name. The working name for the scanner is Micro-photon Projection Relay, or MPPR.

any ideas/input on this will be helpful. I'm purposefully working to avoid the "Star Trek" sort of terminology.

[ballplayer72]

you might actually try delta, since it means change, or sigma, since it means sum of.   Both work pretty good.  But theta is cool 2

[the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh]

you might actually try delta, since it means change, or sigma, since it means sum of.   Both work pretty good.  But theta is cool 2

Thing is, pretty much all the Greek letters already mean something in physics; find an actual atomic physicist to run whatever you come up with by and make sure it doesn't sound drastically wrong, is my advice.