Favorite joke lines of the series

[TrueMonk]

Because it was an excellent idea here we are: What are your favorite joke lines and conversations in the series?

...Maybe there should be a separate thread for what are our favorite joke lines and conversations in the Dresden Files, because there are certainly a good number of those.

I dont know when I will type my own in because I only have the audio books.

[Mira]

Because it was an excellent idea here we are: What are your favorite joke lines and conversations in the series?

I dont know when I will type my own in because I only have the audio books.

  The funniest thing I can remember, but cannot remember exactly what was written or the book, was a tee-shirt Harry wore to some crisis.. It said something about Easter I believe...

[BugBear]

Too many to name, I can't choose. The door is ajar. The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault. The problem is that Harry reflexively snarks when frightened or stressed, so I feel like a solid 5-10% of the dialogue could quality.

So by that fact, it has to be "For my next trick, anvils"/"I told you bastards! Next time, anvils!"

A 17 year set-up/payoff isn't bad at all. But what puts it over the top is imagining The (Mad) Wizard of Chicago gaining a myth/rep for following through on threats, no matter how petty. Harry's been leveraging that nervous tic in fights for over a decade in-universe. In my headcanon, somewhere there's a group of nasties trying to remember which appendages and who's orifices he was talking about. Just in case.

[g33k]

Because it was an excellent idea here we are: What are your favorite joke lines and conversations in the series?

I dont know when I will type my own in because I only have the audio books.

Not any specific line, but the running gag where Harry would leverage his long legs to always get to the door and open it for Murphy... who was totally capable of opening her own damned doors, thankyouverymuch (and probably began considering the merits of using Harry's head to do so).

[MoroccoMole]

Summer Knight:  "Meep! Meep!" 
Laughed so hard/loud I scared my wife in the other room.

[KurtinStGeorge]

The entire “chicks are into chocolate, Harry” conversation, Bob and Harry had in Storm Front when Harry made the love potion.  I especially like this part:

Bob - "Now, just a teaspoon of powdered diamond, and we're done."
Harry -  "Diamond. I don't have any diamonds, Bob."
Bob - "I figured. You're cheap, that's why women don't like you. Look, just tear up a fifty into real little pieces and put that in there."
Harry - "A fifty-dollar bill?" I demanded.
Bob - "Money," Bob opined, "Very sexy."

It’s not just funny.  It’s a great character introduction as well.