It is well documented in the present and in the past and the past is what we are interested in here. There are court ordered virginity tests in Iraq, google it.
The whole virginity thing is a misogynistic patriarchal tool to control young women and their sexuality so they can be traded with other families. Part of it is the fear of men, they have all the resources and they don’t want to spend them on other men’s children.
Because it is so old and ingrained in culture it is the stuff of myth and legend and because it is inevitable and everywhere it is reinterpreted, sanitized and dusted off but it is toxic.
The morals of old tales are not the morals of our time and place but it is not far away at all.
Yes, and one can Google "honor killings" they still happen.. Officially the law may now be against it, but the cultural element in families still runs very deep, and yes, the law often looks the other way. There is a real reason why women get their hymen sewed back together, it isn't because she enjoys the pain on her wedding night. Simply put, no hymen, ergo not a virgin, her family, her husband's family all dishonored, least could happen to her is to become an outcast, the worst, she could die for
it.. And yes, as Arjan points out, it is still happening today, not as often perhaps, but in some cultures it does.
Molly's Mantle reacted violently to Carlos because her physical virginity was being compromised. Now eventually she might find a way around that or to control that as Harry did the sexual urges of the Winter Knight's Mantle, but at the time she was too new, and it sounds from the story that that was one aspect of being Winter Lady that Mab neglected to explain to her. Who knows what Mab's motives were, maybe thinking the best way to learn is the hard way... Or maybe she thought that Molly and Harry were already lovers and a little rough sex wouldn't really hurt either of them.. Or the Fae Courts are really old school as far as virginity goes. Forget Molly for a moment, one of the things that really affected Maeve's mental health and gave Nemesis an opening was her sexual frustration. That is why she surrounded herself with the likes of Ginny Greenteeth, even Slate, she became a voyeur, if she could not have sex herself, she'd live it through others, and it got more twisted as the centuries rolled on.
Foreshadowing of all of this happened at the end of Proven Guilty, the famous scene where Harry dumped a bucket of ice water over Molly's head and told her on no on certain terms that as long as she was his apprentice, no sex. At the time we all thought it was a rather mean way to keep their relationship professional, but now we know that act made her suitable to become Winter Lady. Just another thorn in Harry's hide, the consequences of doing what he thought was right at the time, backfiring.
Oh and one more thing, there is a sexual double standard in the Winter Court, while the Winter Lady is supposed to remain a virgin, her mantle reacts violently to a sexual encounter.. The Winter Knight sees women as an object to dominate, thus the violent almost overpowering urge to rape.. One more little point, sexually frustrated Maeve chose Slate to be the Winter Knight, if I remember correctly he was a rapist as well as a drug addict before he became Knight. No doubt Maeve got her jollies watching him sexually assault the female members of her Court in the Underground of Chicago.