Awww, puppy. I am sorry you are feeling so poorly but I am hoping you find someone to help you. Depression is sadly very common these days, specially with pandemics, isolating and all the economic losses pandemics brought. About head shrinks, do you know that my country is said to have the highest shrink/population rate on the world? It was even a joke when I was a child. Many people I know are on therapy, at some point it was "cool". I don't know if the ciphers are still sound but even if we were not still in the first place, we still have a lot of psychologists.
I always remember a personal story. Many years ago (not so long after my dad died) I was having some strange feelings in my legs. I began seeing doctors and one of them sent me to a psychiatrist to see if it was all in my head. The man asked me a few questions, learnt about my dad (my mom had died years before and I have no siblings) and he made me a few tests where I was alone with an computer, answering questions. Well, when the results came, the doctor told me "Well, surprisingly, you are not depressed." I actually laughed at that. But seriously, he told me that I was sad but not depressed. (in short, it turned out that my leg feelings were due to an herniated disc which was apparently affecting a nerve or something. It got much better). But most people consulting him were actually depressed (or an early stages on it) so he was surprised I was not.
Now, on lighter things I knew you had internet now and that made me real happy. And now you have a computer too. Have fun on Steam!
