I have some nitpicks, please humor me:
As for Eldest Gruff i was under the impression that hes sorta summers version of the leansidshe and is only so powerful because he totally loyal to Titania.
She is his "counterpart" only in the sense that they are both very powerful and very close to their respective queens. They are wildly different in most ways and not any sort of literal Balance to each other (not like teh Knights or ladies or whatever). The biggest difference to my mind being that we have it confirmed that Gruff (as an "Eldest") is a Mantled immortal, while Lea is not.
Its been established that Titania refuses to help harry in any way even when Apocalypse is the result.
Not really, and this is a very important distinction. She refused to get involved for a bunch of reasons that were mostly about Harry and Aurora. But her lack of action didnt actually threaten an Apocalypse, at least not how Harry feared it did, because Mab herself was not actually Crazy. But Titiania's whole Purpose is still to guard against that very thing, and she did not actually Refuse that Duty. Doing so, even being capable, would require and indicate an Nemfection or similar outside Taint.
Ok, Nitpicks done. Thanks for humoring me.
as for Ramirez to join the Grey Council requires extreme trust that your not a traitor or infected and hes only really been active as a wizard for a decade or so which isn't nearly enough time to build up that trust.
I generally agree with this, but as a mark in his favor Carlos
was the only Warden that McCoy trusted to help investigate Peabody's rooms during that highly charged political time.
if Lucio is in Chandler is a good option because Lucio seems to trust him completely and may have a good reason for that trust that we don't know about that could convince Ebeneezer to add him
Hmmm, maaaaybe? All indications in the books seemed to be that She trusted the crap out of him personally. But the WOJ on him is that part of it for him is that they dont entirely trust him because his magic involves Temporal Manipulation, which makes them nervous. The WOJ said he's a Warden so they can keep an eye on him.
Also id say the gatekeeper is a near certainty. We can assume Ebeneezer knows of his job at the outer gates and thats about close to 100% proof as you can get that hes clean as he could have let the outsiders in to destroy the world long ago.
I really dont think so. McCoy very clearly didnt trust him as of PG, said so himself very directly. But he also said that it was a recent (wartime) development, so even if it wasnt just Peabody pushing him to distrust it might be something he's gotten over in the time since. Especially given how often Rashid has kicked in on Harry's side, which I believe carries a lot of weight with Eb.