Author Topic: the use of proper gramer to tell a story  (Read 2781 times)

Offline pcpoet

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 837
  • life is a dream
    • View Profile
the use of proper gramer to tell a story
« on: June 28, 2015, 08:21:44 AM »
got a question to put out in the either,   today I went to a writer meetup where we read and commented on others works. My grammar is not the best and needs work and I value the criticism I get, I feel that I am strong in the area of story telling knowing how much description to put in and how to mix action with thought with description. one of the writers  was putting one word  in italics at the end of the sentence. I had figured out that the words were thoughts but I felt that for the average reader it was confusing and that the author needed a stronger  indicator to the reader that that the one word was mental thought .or to even remove it all together. All three writers at the table told me that it was oK.   because the word was italicized and according to rules on grammar everything was all right. I feel that a true story teller uses proper grammar but try's to go beyond having proper grammar to tell the story. am I right to feel that just because  it is technically correct does not mean that it should be used.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2015, 12:43:46 PM by pcpoet »
I am who I am that's all that I am from my head to my toe that's all that I am.

Offline Farmerbob1

  • Participant
  • *
  • Posts: 70
    • View Profile
Re: the use of proper gramrt to rell a story
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2015, 10:09:46 AM »
I've actually bought a book on dialog because dialog is very important, and I'm not learning much new on my own.  I haven't finished it though, and don't know what they have to say about internal thought, if anything.

I have developed my own rules for italics based on what I've seen and what feels right to me.  As a general rule, If I have a very short, one word internal thought, it either leads a line of text, or stands completely alone.

If I mix a single italicized word into a paragraph, it is narrative emphasis.

This might change if the author of the book I am reading is very convincing, and disagrees with me.

Offline Quantus

  • Special Collections Division
  • Needs A Life
  • ****
  • Posts: 25216
  • He Who Lurks Around
    • View Profile
Re: the use of proper gramer to tell a story
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2015, 05:30:05 PM »
Ive seen the italics used a decent bit, but usually its purely as a substitution for actual quotes, and otherwise follows the form and structure of dialogue, simply to indicate that it's Internal, either internal monologue or telepathy and whatnot.  Otherwise Im with FarmerBob, Single Words come across as narrative emphasis, or verbal emphasis if it's in dialogue.
<(o)> <(o)>
        / \
      (o o)
   \==-==/


“We’re all imaginary friends to one another."

"An entire life, an entire personality, can be permanently altered by just one sentence." -An Accidental Villain

Offline Shecky

  • Bartender
  • O. M. G.
  • ****
  • Posts: 34672
  • Feh.
    • View Profile
Re: the use of proper gramer to tell a story
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2015, 11:56:38 AM »
Italics are used for emphasis but also as an (very long-standing and widespread) option for internal monologue, telepathy or words as words (e.g., "She really dislikes the word no."). If context does not supply an obvious indication as to which function it's fulfilling, the sentence needs to be adjusted.
Official forum rules and precepts; please read: http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/index.php/topic,23096.0.html

Quote from: Stanton Infeld
Well, if you couldn't do that with your bulls***, Leonard, I suspect the lad's impervious.

Offline trboturtle

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 384
    • View Profile
    • Trboturtle's writing pad
Re: the use of proper gramer to tell a story
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2015, 11:06:46 PM »
I've also see Italics when a foreign word is inserted into dialogue:

"Ja, I see it."

"You are my gost --- er, guest."

"Buenos tardes, how can I help you?"

Also, ships names --- HMS Titanic, USS Enterprise,. battleship Bismark.

Craig
Author of 25+ stories for Battlecorps.com, the official website for Battletech canon stories.
Co-author of "Outcasts Ops: African Firestorm," "Outcast Ops: Red Ice," & "Outcast Ops: Watchlist"
http://thebattletechstate.blogspot.com

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: the use of proper gramer to tell a story
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2015, 12:44:35 AM »
Were the sentences quoted as spoken text, followed by a non-quoted italicized word as thought?  Or was it just a paragraph of text followed by a thought?

i.e.
   "So you'll consider it?" he asked.
   "Of course." I replied. Never.

i.e.
   I eyed him as he did his little dance.  And despite the result being
exactly what I'd hoped, the celebration was inappropriate. Tasteless.