Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread

[Blaze]

I thank thee for concession,
and join thee in procession,
a food thread sounds just keen,
Nutella and ice cream!

[Torvaldr]

There once was a duck from nantucket........

[Blaze]

All sing Hallelujah!
For pasta gianduja,
and for that happy fella
Who invented sweet Nutella.

When chocolate was a ration
during times of dearth
to fill his client's passion
he looked to the good earth.

Hazelnuts a plenty fell
from the trees around
Quoth he, "what the hell
They are easily ground."

So he added them to cocoa
A taste pasty treat
It made the folks go loco
and the profits too, were sweet.

Nutella on a cookie
Nuttella on a cake
Nuttella on some whole wheat,
You sweet tooth for to slake.
 

[Blaze]

*Looks at Torvaldr expectantly*  Go on....  c'mon you can do it!

[Torvaldr]

This was one of those esoteric poems that is meant to inspire others to complete the verse in a way meaningful to them and allow it to flow within to grant them greater awareness and focus within their lives.

[Blaze]

Yeah yeah, and Vikings were peaceful explorers. 

[Blaze]

There once was a duck from nantucket........

There once was a duck from Nantucket
Who carried around a large bucket
With nutella inside,
to spread on the hide
Of a duck fella so she could lickit and suckette,

[Torvaldr]

Yeah yeah, and Vikings were peaceful explorers.  Wink

But we were! Honest!

[Ms Duck]

I fled my cold maiden bed
and dreams of long lost love
not his thighs i missed
or the fair bird nested above

the feel of his hands
the gentle strong grip
memmory of his finger
a provoking firm slip

but he left me for her
the whore ! the slut!
with her barren heart
and teenage boy butt

i had the very tools
to take back whats mine
my ancient studies
art dread and sublime

I reach for favorite toy
hid behind necromatic books
and have to fondly wonder
does she like his metal hooks ?

[Blaze]

Applause!!!!

[Blaze]

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

I had a bad love,
I mean I loved  him, bad...
But he didn't notice.
Man it made me sad.

It was torture.  Torture and more.
To be ignored, by the man you adore.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

He was a senior guy.
I was a freshman.
He made me want to die.
He had red hair

Like the sun did rise.
He was gorgeous, he nearly hurt my eyes.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

Everyday, up the sun came .
Everyday the sun did rise.
Then bus came, just the same.
I was the first pick up, surprise

I had to wait for the sixth stop
Where my heart did drop.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

He had a brother.
They shared a seat
With each other
I looked at my feet.

Every day, just the same.
Ever knowing, he didn't know my name.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

I've  been married.
Since 1982.
Happily married.
So what can I do?

But explain bad love, and how
That bad love, even hurts right now.

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

A year of sorrow, rejection, pain
A year of feeling, like I'd go insane.
A year of trying, to speak and fail,
A year of being wan and pale....

I but  have to say here, there was irony,
Cause the guy I married, felt that way about me....

Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It hurts.  It hurts so
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
Like a slug.  From a chainmail glove.
Bad Love
*guitar rip*
It can make you bleed.  Just from the need.
Bad. Love.
*guitar rip*

[Ms Duck]

bravo !

lets get Tor the Viking to do a drum solo

[Ms Duck]

When I was but a pretty chile
tossed all in frilly pink
my mama came and sat awhile
said with a kiss an wink

she sang

all love is gods love
there aint no shame
shined down from up above
all love is the same

I broke my heart
on my first pretty boy
learned of my part
with a vibratin toy

I heard her sing

all love is gods love
there aint no shame
shined down from up above
all love is the same

ran wild in high school
kissed my first saucy girl
had a drink, lost my cool
danced with two a twirl

 heard her sing

all love is gods love
there aint no shame
shined down from up above
all love is the same

Ive pet a wild beast
starred in my own stag blue
main course at feast
learned poetry an high coup

 heard her sing

all love is gods love
there aint no shame
shined down from up above
all love is the same

Now here i rest
writ on prison page
as teacher i was best
he was underage

 heard her sing

all love is gods love
there aint no shame
shined down from up above
all love is the same

[Blaze]

Brava!  Brava!  *hugs*  that was great. 

[Blaze]

(click to show/hide)

Failed.  I've failed those things I love.  No matter how I tied.
And when you fail the things you love, you shrivel up inside.

I tried, I tried to make her quit all those cigarettes
But nothing worked, I must have shirked and I have regrets.

I hid the packs, I made red lines, halfway down
I labeled them as poison, I badgered with a frown.

But she still died of cancer.  Cancer everywhere.
My efforts were too clumsy to make her care.

Failed.  I've failed those things I love.  No matter how I tied.
And when you fail the things you love, you shrivel up inside.

The turtles up at Kingman Park had nowhere to flee.
Turtles move so very slow, and they relied on me.

But biologists are costly, and environmental causes
Fall on deaf governmental ears, they bull doze without pause.

Now where once stood Kingman Park a highway
Blazes through, the park is gone forever and the turtles too.

Failed.  I've failed those things I love.  No matter how I tied.
And when you fail the things you love, you shrivel up inside.

I've campaigned for mother earth, since I was a child.
Doing all the right things, when other kids ran wild.

Recycling, conserving, unswerving in my quest
Riding on a bicycle or walking, as you've guessed.

Reminding folks our planet is the only one we've got.
The oil and coal are burning still, the environment is shot.

Failed.  I've failed those things I love.  No matter how I tied.
And when you fail the things you love, you shrivel up inside.

I love my sons, my darling ones, and want for them the best
I worked until I could no more, to gather their behest.

I wish to pay for college, for educational trips
For all the things which would give them benefits.

But I barely pay my bills now, and they both have to work
I've saved up no inheritance, and their cousins like to smirk.

Failed.  I've failed those things I love.  No matter how I tied.
And when you fail the things you love, you shrivel up inside.

My love's vision is fading.  He works hard as can be
When he comes home, he has to care for me.

He does it uncomplaining, he does it with a grin,
and yet I can't help feeling I've disappointed him.

It should have been our turn, to have fun at this age,
But my health faltered and my guilt I can't assuage.

Failed.  I've failed those things I love.  No matter how I tied.
And when you fail the things you love, you shrivel up inside.

Edited to add the spoiler tag, not because of spoilers, but because the poem is depressing.