Author Topic: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread  (Read 103868 times)

Offline Bob

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 8869
  • The Snark Knight
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2008, 11:44:32 PM »
<Gives Purpura a hand>
Solve a man's problem with violence, help him for a day.  Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime!

Offline Ms Duck

  • Needs A Life
  • ***
  • Posts: 26818
  • Duck of The Black Court
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2008, 02:31:08 AM »
In WOW tonite someone regaled me with a seranade ...

" I like to go swimmin
with bowlegged wimmin.."

etc..

therefore, I composed a rejoinder:

Id be ever quite so glad
to swim with a bonny lad
were in not the day
my clock gave way
hand me that damn pad
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

  • Cloak maker to Wizards.
  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13513
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2008, 04:56:20 AM »
Ode to a Hysterectomy:

I reached the point in my life
Where female organs
Gave me strife.
Gave me pain.
Made me slow.

It was time for them to go.

I had upon my gut a scar,
from navel to pubic arch
pretty far,
didn't like it much.
wished it wasn't done.

But each time I got a son.

Now I have not one but two
Gristled scars, long ones too.
From hip to hip
from stem to stern
an "X" outcome

Marks the spot on my tum.

Yet all three times what came out
Brought forth a happy shout.
One dark blond
One blue eyed
one with tumors

Out helped my humors.

Now no moon hut
do I need.
I don't bloat
I don't bleed
Happier I couldn't be
Unless they had
thought to
zipper me.













Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Blaze

  • Cloak maker to Wizards.
  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13513
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #18 on: December 20, 2008, 06:30:28 AM »
Gawd, here I am double posting, and I hope others will post as well.  This thred needed to be reawakened.

This is a poem I wrote for Yessungee when he was in a bridge battle -- but not for very long.  He hurt himself on the way down.

Anyway it is by me:

The corpse’s lament

The displeasure of dysplasia
When someone comes and slays ya
Then carelessly displays ya
on the field.

When the Marshals, at their leisure
come, much to your displeasure,
To drag you for good measure
on your shield.

To them you are just slaughter
The will dump you in the water
Without the respect they oughta
feel.

After brief inspection
They’ll deny you resurrection
Due to your pallid complexion
Or your body’s misdirection
(plus there’s no appeal.)

Just because you’re dead
they will cart yu off like lead
Not caring how they tread,
or how you’ll deal.

The humiliation does not stop
While you’re the grim reaper’s crop
So just lie there, do not flop
It’s tough luck you had to drop
Just be grateful it’s not real

~Alayne

Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Ms Duck

  • Needs A Life
  • ***
  • Posts: 26818
  • Duck of The Black Court
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2008, 03:12:16 PM »
there once was a duck out of her luck
bill needed a tuck her feathers all pluck
on  corrupt a wish
asked for a delish
a brawny buck but got a shut the f_ck.
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

  • Cloak maker to Wizards.
  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13513
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #20 on: December 23, 2008, 03:14:54 PM »
Poor little quack,
give the granter
the sack
let him/her
bags pack
tell em never come back.

S.W.A.K.
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Wizwad

  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13978
  • Shall we dance?
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #21 on: December 23, 2008, 03:53:47 PM »
:'(
Sniffle....
sniffle...
Wahhhhhhhhhhh.

Agreed!

 :'(
Life  isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~  Unknown

Offline Lady Silver: Serenity

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 1690
  • Muahahahaha
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #22 on: December 23, 2008, 05:09:16 PM »
wow...um...well...um...um...gotta go! good bye!
Tiger Tiger burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

Offline Ms Duck

  • Needs A Life
  • ***
  • Posts: 26818
  • Duck of The Black Court
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #23 on: December 24, 2008, 04:52:51 AM »
A poet and an avain marine
were critiqued by a lady serene
she said she had to flee
the end its plain to see
...
...
um..

what the f_ck rimes with silver, anyaway ???
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

  • Cloak maker to Wizards.
  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13513
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #24 on: December 24, 2008, 06:47:26 AM »
The 47th element
is too hard to rhyme,
had you used argentite
twould be an easier time.

Your poetry would
gain momentum
had you called her
say... Argentum.

The meter could
be in fine fettle
adding epithets
like white metal.

Somewhere between
Gold and copper,
is the name of Lady
Serenity, proper.

Allusion in the place of fact
Keeps the rhyming scheme intact.



Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Wizwad

  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13978
  • Shall we dance?
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #25 on: December 24, 2008, 10:33:20 AM »
*applauds, cheers*
Life  isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~  Unknown

Da-wild-gerbil

  • Guest
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #26 on: December 24, 2008, 02:57:26 PM »
My cat...
...I have no cat
Cats go *meow*
Or *fart*
But I hear no sound
For I have no cat
Catty catty meow meow
Any cat that has worms is not nice
Woe is me

Written by Da-wild-gerbil sometime before dawn 25/12/08

*Ta-dah*

Offline Ms Duck

  • Needs A Life
  • ***
  • Posts: 26818
  • Duck of The Black Court
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2009, 01:58:11 AM »


this thread
full of awe and wonder
of poems
so bad and blunder
of moose
parts under yunder
their bowels
sound and thunder
to life



Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky

Offline Blaze

  • Cloak maker to Wizards.
  • Seriously?
  • ***
  • Posts: 13513
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2009, 03:57:56 AM »
Time and tide for men don't wait.
But a cougar wants to mate
So for the male she will spend
A little while her trap to tend.

The feminine feline longs
To frolic in romantic throngs
To revel as with catnip's high
Pounce then ravage some young guy.

A sated cougar well will sleep
Contented her mate she'll keep
While satisfying every whim,
She'll still manage to  pleasure him.
Chi pò, non vò; chi vò, non pò; chi sà, non fà; chi fà, non sà; e così, male il mondo va.

Offline Ms Duck

  • Needs A Life
  • ***
  • Posts: 26818
  • Duck of The Black Court
    • View Profile
Re: Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2009, 02:31:46 PM »
that ridiculous thang
up in thread with a dash
quite the challenge
far too much too flash

i have to wonder
bout that bonny boy
dont really wanna ride
can i pet the toy ?
Yeah, but Germans and Hungarians don't pull people's theories out of their sockets when they're challenged.  Ducks are known to do that.


That's been disabled. But I can still CALL you Fup Duck. -Shecky