Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread

[j3nnee]

Although I live in the South
It's colder than Mab's house
It's icier than Maeve's stare
And frostier than Lea's hair

It's dropped some odd degrees
And everything feels a freeze
I don't want to go forth
in this weather for what it's worth

No snow like the Yanks
But we still shiver and shake
Mab's on the scene
and being mean

[Ms Duck]

when dancing wicca in the snow
i learned things were good to know
frozen toes slipped a splits
icicle up  my naughty bits
cold as witch's teats still will grow

[Blaze]

Buddhist Monks and I
Can chant away the cold
and raise a sort of steam
with brains believing bold
thoughts of hearts afire
whose kindlings unfold
creating credence spire
of radiant degree untold.

[Ms Duck]

On wintery night date
Blaze warmed by a monk
steam from his bald pate
she stoked his firey junk

snow melted round them
the went for ol sixty nine
unwise, I must condemn
yell forth a warning sign

listen now oh young ladies
spare your thighs the burning fits
a monks head hot as hades
keep them from your naughty bits

[Blaze]

coast to coast
warm as toast
existentialisms boast.

Haste is post
molecules roast
balding pates are the most!

[Ms Duck]

our angel relic has bid  goodbye
off he goes in the clouds to fly
wave to our friend,
good wishes we send
now ill waddle off to cry 

[Blaze]

angel relic we will miss
but as ever the choice
to leave was his
I'm hoping for his bliss
his joy and rejoice
at knowing this.

[Ms Duck]

for neuro:

an ode to our dear Marquis
just wanted hisself a piece
cracked his whips
sciscors snips snips
but alas forgot the ky grease

[Ms Duck]

I shall quack forth my command
and draw my land in the dusty sand
bring forth some rhymes
bout moossey sex crimes
and best be grand not bland or canned

[Ms Duck]

of what we once boasted
now has not been posted
cept by duck
so well fuck
post poems or ill see YOU roasted

[Blaze]

Tough luck
Ms Duck
Brains stuck
No rhyme
no time
just grime
and chaff
don't laugh
distaff.

[j3nnee]

roof was leaking
light fixture reeking
as water dripped through
into tupperware below

No one came to look
at my soggy nook
pissed at stupidity
of front staff at apts, see?

Still no contact
wish I had an axe
to hit them on the back
like the reeking sacks
they are :OP

MUUSURU BUGARU

[Chuck Chuck Razool]

Putrid drool-soaked fangs.
A single bite and it's over.
Komodo dragon.

[Ms Duck]

there once was a Duck drank many a flagon
went a huntin dinner, with guns and a wagon
after lickin their pickins
Blaze quip 'was chicken?'
"nope" duck said braggin' "was a komodo dragon"

[Chuck Chuck Razool]

These ones aren't mine, but they're classics and my two favorite limericks.

There once was a man from Madras
whose bollocks were made out of brass.
When he'd bang 'em together
they'd play stormy weather
and lightning'd shoot out his ass.

---------------and

There was an old man with a poker
who covered his face with red ochre.
When they said "You're a guy!"
He made no reply,
but knocked them all down with his poker.

That one was in a book of Edward Lear poems accompanied by a very funny illustration of an old man in a dress with blush on brandishing a fireplace poker.