There is no longer a Touchy Topics subforum, so I can't advise to move it there, and simply moving it behind a spoiler tag doesn't change it from being in the Touchy Topics field. It might have been better to make the opening post broader, such as "Make sure the character's dialogue and internal monologue are consistent with his/her situation", without referring to broad stereotypes. But the moment for that is past, so all that's left is either 1) to drop the subject entirely or 2) be very, very careful with how it develops. You have to admit that stating openly that character X is poorly written because "I've never heard a man/woman talk that way" looks and quacks a lot like sexism. I can't think that it was your intent, but since gender roles are a hot-button issue for a number of forumgoers here (not to mention people in general), that button can get inadvertently pressed awfully easily.
... which is part of the reason Touchy Topics were defined and placed off-limits here in the first place: too often, those hot buttons got pressed and people had powerful emotional reactions that led to completely avoidable dust-ups. Deliberate or otherwise, it really doesn't matter in the end—we've placed maintaining the peace in here in everyone's hands. So, you can certainly proceed if you wish, but please do be careful in guiding this thread's direction.
For what it's worth, words fundamentally do still mean what they mean once you strip a lot of stereotyped "conventions" from them. I'm a straight male, happy and completely at ease with it, yet I can see a guy like Matt Bomer and feel perfectly accurate and appropriate in describing him as "beautiful". Because, dammit, the jerk is. Makes me bullfrog-green with jealousy that some other guy can be that damned gorgeous while I got not one gene in that direction. XD In fact, the lingo you're describing as "not done" may simply belong to the also-stereotyped group of self-proclaimed "man's men", which is a fairly sexist direction to take right out of the gate, anyway.
So, to repeat, if you want to continue with this thread, it's certainly okay; just be aware how close the subject matter and the direction of the conversation are to the borders with TT, and self-monitor accordingly. Sound good?