For guys and clever women.... help

[OZ]

I am sure. This is not an everyday occurence (or of course I not fall for it). It is more of an "Oh I forgot to get new razors so I used yours. Hope you don't mind."

[MonaLS]

I am sure. This is not an everyday occurence (or of course I not fall for it). It is more of an "Oh I forgot to get new razors so I used yours. Hope you don't mind."

How does it make a difference? Hair is hair, isn't it?

[Murphy's Stunt Double]

Mostly, but different hair has different texture, coarse, fine, etc, which wear a blade differently. And a razor blade can only be used so many times before it gets dulled to where it's painful to use.

[OZ]

And in most cases a razor that has been used even once for shaving someone's legs is no longer sharp enough to shave someone's face. It is not only a matter of coarseness but also of the total area shaved. Most people have more surface area on their legs than on their face. It's the surprise factor that makes it annoying though. I was just trying to think of things that are a petty annoyance but not deadly to a relationship. The expectation that the man should be able to read his girlfriend/spouse's mind is probably the one I find most annoying. Yes this works both ways but I find the expectation much more common among females.

[DragonFire]

Yeah I used to hate that one.
Especially because she would be upset, and I'd be trying to find out what's wrong, but she wouldn't tell, yet was upset cuase I didn't know.

Confusing as hell.

[meg_evonne]

Men should come with a tag attached when they begin to co-habitate with a female.  Women are ALWAYS behind the learning curve on this until they've lived with a man.  A man doesn't understand that a woman doesn't have a clue about this problem.  A woman can use the same blasted razor for a week or two and if she forgets to shop when she runs out, she can make that same razor go a month.  We have no concept of the pain this causes a man, after even one secretive leg shaving.

So, we aren't doing it to be mean.  We just don't understand until we see your red, scraped face and then we feel awful.  I'm divorced and I still would say I was sorry for doing that to the X.... 

[JustinGD]

I think that this should be filed under the, first year of marriage syndrome, I think that if you are really learning about a partner you work through the removal of hair issue.  I bought a safety razor...the old fashioned kind that you have to put a straight razor blade into.  My wife never borrowed it, it takes a lot more control use one of those on your legs.  I also usually have a bag of disposable razors around the house for emergencies, now of course I use an electric razor, so she could use it and I would never know.  I think that setting your partner up for success is the best way to deal with it.  if you can accept who they are and apply that to every thing not just razors, you can deal with a scraped up face every now and again

[DragonFire]

Men should come with a tag attached when they begin to co-habitate with a female.  Women are ALWAYS behind the learning curve on this until they've lived with a man.  A man doesn't understand that a woman doesn't have a clue about this problem.  A woman can use the same blasted razor for a week or two and if she forgets to shop when she runs out, she can make that same razor go a month.  We have no concept of the pain this causes a man, after even one secretive leg shaving.

So, we aren't doing it to be mean.  We just don't understand until we see your red, scraped face and then we feel awful.  I'm divorced and I still would say I was sorry for doing that to the X.... 

Ah but they don't, that's the problem!!

When my ex did it, if I got upset, she'd just say 'I only used it once, what's the problem' or 'Just use a new one'.
Not once did she say 'oh sorry, I didn't know' or 'jeez, that looks really painful.'

[JustinGD]

One thing my wife has taught me, is that when a woman says something, it usually means that the words are not as important as the situation that they are said in and the body language that she is using while saying them...I have also learned not to get my feelings hurt so easily

[MonaLS]

The expectation that the man should be able to read his girlfriend/spouse's mind is probably the one I find most annoying. Yes this works both ways but I find the expectation much more common among females.

The problem with this is that my boyfriend says: "You should have said something" or "You should have mentioned it before." AND I HAVE. I don't expect mind reading but I do expect consideration when I HAVE said something.

The razor thing is something else, he doesn't shave and I don't shave, so I never understood the "borrowed my razor" thing.

[JustinGD]

I don't think it comes down to mind reading...just different communication styles.

[DragonFire]

One thing my wife has taught me, is that when a woman says something, it usually means that the words are not as important as the situation that they are said in and the body language that she is using while saying them...I have also learned not to get my feelings hurt so easily

Yes, but it would be nice if it worked both ways.
I've found with my ex's (and I'm not saying all women do this, or that men don't. I sure men do do this, I've just never dated any), that most arguments come from her point of view, and anything that doesn't agree, like my point of view, is irrelevant.

Hence, it leaves me, often, feeling like my feelings and thoughts have no validity, and that tends to make me angry and arguments escalate.

I honestly don't see how it's that difficult to say 'sorry I did a thoughtless thing, caused by my own forgetfullness, and it caused you some minor pain and irratiation'.

Again, I'm not saying all women do this, or that men don't.

[meg_evonne]

*okay, I started this thread and I (and many authors) have gotten a lot of great material.  Please keep it coming.  I do think though that a side-by-side thread would be a good idea at this point for writers as well...  Check out--Back from the edge, turning on your partner. 

[THETA]

Well, i'll just be severe on my own sex.  I see so many girls do this it's insane. 

-Getting too personal too quick.  Guys really don't want to hear about how your sister's having problems with your mom's new boyfriend who she recently found out has been in a gay relationship. 

Man, i can't stand when other girls whine to me and i'm sure most guys don't either unless you get one of those "need to be needed" guys.

[the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh]

-Getting too personal too quick.  Guys really don't want to hear about how your sister's having problems with your mom's new boyfriend who she recently found out has been in a gay relationship. 

This is not a gender thing, IME; some people open up fast, others slowly, pretty much regardless. 

Oh, and tell your sister to stop being silly.