For guys and clever women.... help

[Shadocat]

I believe it was Jeff Foxworthy who said;

"Women don't want to hear a man's opinion.  They want to hear THEIR opinion in a deeper voice."

[fizzy]

Bad communication is not a gender-specific thing.

The ways in which people are socially taught that bad communication is appropriate definitely differ, sure.  (See Murphy pointing out the stupidity of the whole Harry and Thomas not communicating because it's a guy thing in PG.)

Doesn't mean you can;t legitimately expect people who really care to make the effort to really communicate.

Its not really about bad communication. Not saying we had good communication, just that choosing the color of the furniture was (or should be) an important part of our relationship. For my part, I felt she didn't really value my opinion as much as she wanted to reason out the pros and cons by talking to someone instead of in her head.   I thought of it more as a joke, but it was one of the most annoying things she did (which is to say, not that important to me). It wasn't a problem unless she was stressed then she took it personal if I didn't pay immediate attention. I just mentioned it because its a common theme between men and women and could provide for some funny dialoge that wouldn't make a reader dislike a character, just seem kinda quirky. If its the man not listening to the woman, its not so funny.  Women not listening to men, funny. Go figure.

Also pointing to something out the window while one person is driving and saying "look at that!". Or pointing to a map while driving through the middle of Atlanta and saying "We're should be here. I think if we keep going in this direction..." Like I can see the map in the dark while I'm trying to not commit vehicular homicide. (My dad did that to me last week). It might actually be funny if we were driving through a zombie infested landscape ala I am Legend or Resident Evil, etc.. He'd totally do that to me to.

"Ohh no don't take this road Ricky. Its a toll road" (from TN where there aren't any and we consider them an abomination)
"we've got a human corpse on the hood. well, half a human corpse. I'm pretty sure they'll let us through the smart tag section with that"
"Ok, but I'm not sure I've got exact change if your wrong"
"I've got an idea, lets ask Stumpy if hes got any. Oh wait, he doesn't have pockets.. or legs."

Ok no more caffeine for me tonight. 

[the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh]

I just mentioned it because its a common theme between men and women and could provide for some funny dialoge that wouldn't make a reader dislike a character, just seem kinda quirky. If its the man not listening to the woman, its not so funny.  Women not listening to men, funny. Go figure.

Cliches about what "men" and "women" are like in place of characterising them as individuals won't make me dislike a character, necessarily, but it will make me dislike the author and most likely never read anything else of theirs again.

[JustinGD]

my wife always makes up something that she wanted to happen (putting the laundry in the dryer)...sets the event at a time that I would not have a clear memory of it...waking up or perhaps post coitally and then sets up an ambush.  The upshot is I feel used and dirty and she gets out of some house hold task she hates

[fizzy]

Cliches about what "men" and "women" are like in place of characterising them as individuals won't make me dislike a character, necessarily, but it will make me dislike the author and most likely never read anything else of theirs again.

I wasn't suggesting not developing characters... chill out. I could walk up to nearly any man and tell him that story about my wife and, unless he was psychotic or had never dated in his life, chanced are that he would laugh. He wouldn't laugh because he knows me as an individual but because he's probably been through the same thing to some degree. Notice the Jeff Foxworthy quote above. Theres a reason its funny. Theres a reason Foxworthy can deliver that line with a crowd of men and women and get a laugh. Because the audience can relate it to their lives and experiences.

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with cliches so long as they're interesting. Without the magic and monsters Harry would be just another gumshoe. Its boring work (my dad's a PI so I know). A down on his luck gumshoe, can't get much more cliche than that. Through in the magic, its gets more interesting. A few character faults, a series of events, a vampire or two, next thing you know I can't put the book down.

[fizzy]

my wife always makes up something that she wanted to happen (putting the laundry in the dryer)...sets the event at a time that I would not have a clear memory of it...waking up or perhaps post coitally and then sets up an ambush.  The upshot is I feel used and dirty and she gets out of some house hold task she hates

I hear ya. I suggest a voice recorder. It won't help (will probably make her madder, women hate facts  ), but you'll feel better deep down knowing you were right. Even if you're right, sleeping on the couch. 

[JustinGD]

After

I hear ya. I suggest a voice recorder. It won't help (will probably make her madder, women hate facts  ), but you'll feel better deep down knowing you were right. Even if you're right, sleeping on the couch. 

10 years of marriage has taught me that their are very few things it is critical to feel right about on the couch

[the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh]

I wasn't suggesting not developing characters... chill out. I could walk up to nearly any man and tell him that story about my wife and, unless he was psychotic or had never dated in his life, chanced are that he would laugh. He wouldn't laugh because he knows me as an individual but because he's probably been through the same thing to some degree. Notice the Jeff Foxworthy quote above. Theres a reason its funny. Theres a reason Foxworthy can deliver that line with a crowd of men and women and get a laugh. Because the audience can relate it to their lives and experiences.

Try it in Ireland, in Germany and in Indonesia and it won't get the same response.  Social consturcts, nothing more, and social constructs are our choices and therefore our responsibilities, which is why I get a bit hot under the collar to see the ones we happen to have now reinforced as if they were a) unalterable and b) positive.

[Murphy's Stunt Double]

women hate facts That don't serve their side of the argument  ),

Fixed it for ya.

[Lisa™]

Who doesn't hate that, on some level, when they're having an argument?

I know I do.  *Shrug*

[Murphy's Stunt Double]

True, Lisa...I'z jus workin' inside the confines of the comment...

[fizzy]

Try it in Ireland, in Germany and in Indonesia and it won't get the same response.  Social consturcts, nothing more, and social constructs are our choices and therefore our responsibilities, which is why I get a bit hot under the collar to see the ones we happen to have now reinforced as if they were a) unalterable and b) positive.

Theres a joke in Chinese about a man who goes to a noodle shop in a neighboring province and asks for a bowl of soup. The words for sex and soup sound alike in Cantonise and Mandarin so Chinese people laugh when they hear it. I didn't laugh because I don't speak Chinese (till it was translated for me anyway). Thats ok because the audience at the time did speak Chinese (one or the other). You could get upset because the woman was working as a waitress instead of being a CEO somewhere else. You can get upset because the guy wasn't sensitive enough to know what he was asking was inappropiate. Or, like us, you could just laugh because life is short and the point of the story wasn't the predefined roles (if there are any left) that we find ourselves in, but how misunderstanding or lack of good communication can in fact be funny.
I hope you find something to laugh about in life, but I'm beginning to think you don't.

[OZ]

Another fun but annoying trick that is gender related is when your wife or girlfriend uses your razor on her legs and doesn't tell you until she hears you screaming as the whiskers are being pulled out of your face one at a time by the mysteriously dull blade.

[CarolM]

Another fun but annoying trick that is gender related is when your wife or girlfriend uses your razor on her legs and doesn't tell you until she hears you screaming as the whiskers are being pulled out of your face one at a time by the mysteriously dull blade.

I like most women have my own razor. Are you sure you didn't just pick up the wrong one? Or forget to change the blade?

[JustinGD]

Yeah I use and electric dude and my wife has her own trimmer...that is kinda wierd