Uh...you and I have not been reading the same urban fantasy. And most of mine's been written by female writers, too. So, uh, I disagree? Would you like some recommendations?
Bah just ignore me, as I am exaggerating a bit (hmm admiting that probably breaks an internet law). Just saying that ever since Hamilton's Anita Blake Vampire Slayer series came out the market has exploded, which is good, however it's mostly a hit or miss on if a book/series is worth reading. It's common to see a lack in setting design, consistency, and character development. It goes back to the question if you can easily tell if the writers are in love with, or wish they where their characters. I get the feeling this is more the case from some of the female writers I have read over male ones *shrugs*. (Note: This is all just mostly a feeling, I haven't started making lists or anything like that)
But sure send me a list, am always open to reading things others recommend.