I have to say, I find myself feeling that way alot. "Why am
I trying to write?", "Who do I think I am?", or just "This is garbage".
I have been an avid reader since before I can remember. In elementary school I'd sit and read Star Trek books under my desk instead of listen (I got all the school info eventually
).
The last few years I've had a number of ideas but I find myself procrastinating; I realized recently that all of the 'method' books I've been reading about characters, dialog, plot, genre, etc have been excuses not to write.
I had gone back to school to finish my Computer Science degree and had to take an english course. It was creative writing, and we just wrote short stories and discussed them with each other, critiquing our work to improve it.
The one thing that has finally given me a clue about my own writing ability, apart from my innate disbelief in said ability, was when it was my day (we each got a class period) and the teacher started off with "well, I expect this will be a fairly short session".
It wasn't, but it was all fine tweaking, and I walked out with a sense of accomplishment and
possibility that I had never had before.
I still procrastinate, but I have a little extra core of confidence that says 'maybe I can' now. I think that, for many people, is the first and greatest gift you will get from a good writing group.