Hello, everyone. My character in my current Dresden Files RPG campaign has encountered a tremendous life crisis that offers one of two possible choices for her. (No, she is not a changeling.) I would like an outsider's perspective on what she should do in this situation, namely because right now, she actually is asking for outsiders' opinions on what she should do. She is at that much of a loss.
Before I describe the situation, there are a few things you should know about our game.
1.) Our game is currently at 42 skill points, a skill cap of Fantastic (+6), and a base refresh rate of 12. We have house ruled pure mortals into becoming just as useful as other characters at this level; a pure mortal who knocks their refresh rate down to 1 with stunts becomes a puissant polymath and factotum of numerous skills, and absolutely terrifying at making assessments, declarations, and maneuvers. Conversely, we have also toned down the ever-scaling power level of spellcasters in this game, with comprehensive fixes for evocation and thaumaturgy. This is not a thread to discuss this; I would just like to use that for context.
2.) My character is the daughter of arguably the richest person in the entire world, has built up a leviathan of an information and diplomacy network around her family, is "graduating high school at age 12" intelligent, and is a supremely, nigh-diplomancer-level speaker. So, in case anyone would like a reference point for how "normal" she is, there is that.
3.) In our game, Wizard's Constitution [-0] can make you live for several centuries. For someone with the potential to be a wizard, it is essentially tied to the Sight [-1]. Once someone who could be a wizard gains the Sight [-1], they gain Wizard's Constitution [-0], end of story.
4.) Our characters have done so much over the course of forty-six sessions, plus countless side sessions (easily about thirty or so by now). We have made the world supernaturally aware, and my character has started up what is now a titanic network of diplomacy and understanding between regular person and not-so-regular person.
5.) My character's boyfriend is a changeling. In our game, the Choice was a fae law-mandated thing rather than something biological, and it was a point that it was causing turmoil. We broke the necessity of it when we brought it up to the fae courts. For that matter, my character's changeling boyfriend also has the gift for wizardhood, and is so loyal to her that he might as well be her fiancee by now.
6.) We have done so much for the White Council that they are willing to train my character, my character's boyfriend, and my character's mother in wizardly abilities, and they do not have to be part of the White Council. No strings attached whatsoever. Also in our game, receiving full training from the White Council requires passing a test called the... "Wiseman's Words"? I do not think my GM ever explained why it was called that, and it definitely does not seem to be in the Dresden Files books.
7.) My character has an insane degree of magical potential. In game terms, what would be her key spellcasting skills are maximized (amongst other things), and in-universe, she has a near-flawless understanding of magical theory and an extremely finely-tuned third eye.
8.) In our game, wards take either magic or an extreme amount of mental concentration and finesse (i.e. Discipline) to break.
9.) In our game, mortal stunts can touch upon the supernatural... as long as they strictly affect supernatural effects that are already there. This can take the form of magic resistance, the ability to deflect or attract psychic assaults with sheer willpower, using existing alchemical potions to "fast-forward" one's attainment of mundane physical advancement, and honing one's third eye to a fine degree (but not to the level of the Sight).
10.) In our game, the "Night Wave" is a coalition of demons (and other assorted bad guys) that has served as the main antagonist group throughout the entire game. A "Nocnamora" is a psychic demonic construct wrought of dreams and doubts. Just as we have gathered allies all throughout the game, so has the Night Wave; they have Kemmlerites, Denarians, true dragons, and more on their side.
So, without further ado, here is my character's current situation.
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Bright Ideals and Cruel Realities
Created by Agata Tatlin
Hello, Many Worlds Movement. Agata Tatlin here.
Today, I would like to give a confession to everyone on this network, and ask for some advice too. Before I continue though, please know that my face and neck are healing just fine.
In any case, I just had a talk with my mother, Anastasiya, and my boyfriend, Florian. During that talk, they brought up something that I had been trying to never ever think about, and I admitted some of my feelings from deep down inside. I think I should tell about it to you too, just to get it off my chest.
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You all know my story. The girl who refused taking a magical artifact to fight the Night Wave, and who got by and did some really big and cool things for the next few months. Helping friends fight demonic constructs, warming the Winter Court, and uniting so many supernatural people under this network too. I feel so proud about it.
At first, I was just scared of the artifacts. Some of them had addictive powers... and I had a family that fought off a Nocnamora anyway. Safer to not risk it, right? But then it slowly became clear that there was something special about me too.
I got to help out so much with my own skills and the people I knew. I was just a regular girl, but I was doing just as much to help win the fight against the Night Wave and help change the world. I felt really proud for being so good at knowing about magic that I could figure out stuff nobody did before. I felt awesome for being able to convince the whole Winter Court and other supernatural groups.
I fought off a Nocnamora inside my mind. I broke a ward with just my willpower. I triggered my body becoming really mundanely tough with some trials and an alchemical recipe. I learned techniques that dealt with magical stuff, like psychic attacks and sensing magic with a really sharp third eye. But even so, I was still human. When I crossed the threshold of someone's house, or a salt circle, I did not get affected.
I felt cool and unique for being the odd one out. The regular human in the middle of so many magical people, yet doing great things all the same. I avoided gaining magic. Even when I passed the Wiseman's Words test and the White Council said I would make a great wizard, I did not want it. It would not make me special any more, because then I would just be a supernatural person who got to do cool, big things just because of her powers.
That is right. I could have become a wizard, something so many people in the world want to be. My trainer in the White Council, Karen Lupin, even told me that I was just inches away from mastering everything. My magical potential and knowledge were huge. If I wanted to, I could just reach out and get it all: evocation, thaumaturgy, and the Sight. Especially the Sight, because my third eye had grown pretty strong. But I said no, because I was proud of what I was.
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My boyfriend got me to admit that I was magical at first, and I went along with it. Then some more stuff came to light. Eventually, my boyfriend got to calling me the "prototype for the evolution of humanity." I was living proof that the natural state of humanity was being magically aware, and that regular humans could survive and thrive in this world by just knowing about the supernatural and applying all their talents. It made me feel so proud and special.
Then, when the Merlin looked at me with the Sight and a soulgaze, he said that I walked the edge between regular human and magical human. That made me feel even more unique. I was a regular human, but I was being a really, really good example of the best of what a regular human could be. Magically aware, really skilled, really able to help out and make a difference in the world, and with cool ways of dealing with magic. I was a regular human and an edgewalker!
It got to me even more while I was making this network. It was not really my main objective, but I thought that I would be an example for regular humans. I would show everyone that regular humans and magical humans could live together, and that regular people did not need any magic to be happy, live a good life with friends and family, and make a huge impact. Regular people could look up to me and think, "Being a regular human is not so bad. Look at Agata!"
I was trying to help the world before anything else. But at the same time, I was feeling so proud for being so special in my own way. Just for being a regular human and an "edgewalker" who could be a super cool example for people without magic.
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Florian, my boyfriend, has been training to be a wizard for a while now. All he needs left is the Sight. I knew that when he finally got that, he would start to age really, really slowly because of that "Blessing of Body" wizard stuff. Slowly even for a changeling. I knew that he would live longer than me, but I tried to forget all about it and focus on other stuff. It pushed it all really, really far back in my mind.
Then... just today, my mother passed the Wiseman's Words test and started her training with becoming a wizard too. She would get the Sight too. And she would outlive me. And my brother, Fyodor, could also find his own way to become immortal, especially with that fae bow that is boosting his body and mind. (Link to the thread on Fyodor's new bow.) I tried not to think about it then, but my mother and my boyfriend went to me and talked to me about it.
It was really painful for me. I argued with them for half an hour. They reminded me of everything. How my family and my one true love were all going to outlive me. How even all of my friends would outlive me. Even Sasha, the one with just the hero's blade, would live longer than me. Florian saw a prophecy of me dying in my bed at age 110, with me forgetting everyone's names. He asked me what would happen to all of my work with this network once I died.
My mother explained to me my potential as a wizard. How the White Council believed I could become as strong as a Warden really, super fast if I just wanted to. (Edit one day after thread creation: When I asked the White Council directly, they said I could get the Sight in just a few hours, and evocation and thaumaturgy by training for 3.5 hours each day for five days.) My mother gave me some theories about why I kept on refusing magic, and she was kind of right. They all fit with everything you see above.
My brother, who was listening all the while, tried to convince me that I would not be letting anyone down. That even if I became magical, lived longer, and casted spells, I would still be the same girl I always was before, helping everyone with networking and diplomacy and stuff. But I did not think that could possibly be true. I would not be the regular girl surviving and doing so well. I would be magical. I would get thresholded. Totally different nature. Different me.
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They gave me some time to think for a while. During that time, I realized and admitted to myself everything you are reading above. I finally accepted that I would be the first to die if I stayed on this path. My ego and my stupid fear of not being the special, regular human any more, they would kill me centuries before my family and friends. Why does it have to be this way? All of my hard work, and something this unfair appears. Not fair.
Basically, I understand that they really want me to become a wizard too. Or at least just gain the Sight. That way, I would gain that "Blessing of Body" thing and start to age really, really slowly... to make me live just as long as my family and my future husband.
But that would make me not a regular human any more. I would be turning my back on those beliefs I spread. That regular people did not need magic to live happy lives with their friends and family. I would not be that regular girl who was an inspiration for non-magical people all over the world, by doing so much stuff and making big, good changes to the world, all without special powers of my own. All for immortality. I feel like I would be a hypocrite.
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I do not know what to do. I do not want to let everyone down by turning my back on the beliefs I have spread here. But I do not want to make my family feel so frustrated with me, because I did not want to become magical and join them with long lifespans. This is so painful for me, and I just do not know what to do. There is just no way to be a regular human and immortal. There are only two options here: be regular and die before them, or become magical and live long.
What should I do, everyone? I broke the Choice for changelings all over the world, and now, I have to make a Choice of my own...
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Poetic that she breaks the necessity of the Choice for her love, but she now has to make a Choice of her own, is it not?
On one hand, if she chooses to gain magic, when people look back at her story, they still see that that Agata's finish was becoming more than just a regular mortal. No matter what her family and her boyfriend says, it betrays the ideal. "Even with all that, you should be magical and live longer."
If she chooses to gain magic, despite all of the actions she has taken, people will look back at it and go, "In the end, she figured that it was better to be magical after all."
Six hundred years in the future, people could look at living Agata and go, "This is the person who helped change the world." Or, six hundred years in the future, people could read about dead Agata in the history books and go, "This is the person who helped change the world, and stood by their word and beliefs to the very end."
Who knows what could happen to her when she dies? She must have quite the afterlife waiting for her, and who would want to deny her that?
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... And now, it is time to defend gaining magic. (I have more written for this, but personally, I do not support it any more or less than refusing magic.)
"This is the person who helped change the world, and stood by their word and beliefs to the very end. And what a fool she was."
Sticking to one's beliefs diehard is not always a good idea. In fact, it leads to the downfall of many, because there is no guarantee whatsoever that those beliefs are sound. People develop, change, and realize, well, realities.
There is also the part where her beliefs are essentially, "You can live a good, happy life as a regular person." Note the "can." It does not take into account any of the special circumstances that one can encounter in their lives.
It is true that regular people can live good, happy lives, even without any supernatural powers. However, let us face it: supernatural powers are, in-universe, more or less a strict upgrade. They are not guaranteed to make you happier. But they can.
Do you know what that sounds like? Money.
It is like this. You can live as a good, happy life as a member of the lower class. Heck, you can even feel proud for setting that example. Suppose you win the lottery though, because you found a winning ticket off the street. Are you seriously, seriously going to go, "No, I will not take this money! I need to set an example for the lower class!"?
Another example, from ye olden times. Suppose a farmer leads a ragtag bunch of peasants against an attacking force, and manages to be a leader inspiring and awesome enough to actually win, proving that random peasants can be as charismatic as any noble. Then, he is offered nobility and the land he defended.
The above ye olden times scenario is like... why not, when it makes doing the same thing so much easier? It is not like he would turn his back on the common folk, as long as he remembered not to be a typical malicious noble. Not that hard. Same thing here; it is not as though she will have difficulty relating to normal people, given the current state of the supernaturally-aware world.
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For me, this is something that clearly has no right or wrong answer. Some group of people will be disappointed one way or another. But what would you, as an outsider, think of Agata's current situation here? What would you advise her to do, as someone who just read her tale?
I have spoken to five of my online acquaintances regarding this so far. Two went for "refuse magic" at first, another two decided on "accept magic," and the fifth could not decide. Four out of five eventually reached a point of "no right or wrong decision" after some discussion on the other side of the choice though.
What do you think, personally?
