Advice on my first character concept

[Masurao]

So I've finally gone and made myself a bit of a character and I was wondering how it would hold up against the scrutiny of you all (especially with Aspects), so without further ado:

No-Names the Concept
(made at Feet in the Water level

High Concept: Hunter of What is Hidden
An archaeologist in his late twenty's, always driven to make the next discovery... (Or perhaps ferret out the enemy?)

Trouble: Afraid to bare my fangs
A bit too modest socially and supernaturally. Think of your typical modest, nice guy.

Background: Can't resist a mystery
Already as a child, he couldn't resist riddles or finding answers to whatever questions he had. This led him to archaeology, the perfect opportunity to find those hidden tidbits of culture, knowledge, etc.

Rising Conflict: Look into the Abys and it looks into you
After finding a strange obsidian mirror in an ancient Aztec ruin (see below), he found out it allowed him to change into a black jaguar, like the aspect of Tezcatlipoca, the Aztec god of night, dreams, sorcery (and much more). However, he has no real knowledge of this artifact, except for its link to the (by him presumed-)dead god. After using it a few times, he noticed that some of the jaguar's senses still worked in his normal form (i.e. Echoes of the Beast) and now he fears that the mirror may be affecting him in some manner. (Which it is, of course, but not as he would expect.)

Story: Am I a dead god's plaything?
For his first 'adventure', I'd imagine him using the powerful jaguar-form to kill some evil-doer, perhaps supernatural. After the fact, he would feel uncertain whether it was his own darker side or the artifact's influence that made him kill. He is kind of in denial about the fact that he might have murdered someone in cold blood, seeing as how he always was such a 'nice guy', in the broadest sense of the word.

Skills:
+4 Scholarship
+3 Investigation
+3 Discipline
+2 Lore
+2 Conviction
+2 Alertness
+1 Athletics
+1 Endurance
+1 Survival
+1 Contacts

Powers and stunts:
Item of Power (the Smokeless Mirror) -4
One-Time Discount (+2) - it's an obsidian mirror
It Is What It Is - it's an obsidian mirror
Unbreakable - it can be broken/shattered, but the pieces reattach when held together. If seperated for more than a scene, or over a larger distance, the fragments would turn into smoke and drift back to the largest remaining part, or so I imagined it.
Imparted Abilities:
   -Beast Change (black jaguar) -1
   -Human Form +1, affecting the following:
   -Inhuman Speed -2
   -Inhuman Strength -2
   -Inhuman Recovery -2
   -Inhuman Toughness -2
   -the Catch: gold +3 (Tezcatlipoca is a god of the night, gold is the 'sun metal' and was quite common in Aztec-times)
   -Claws[/i] -1 (claws and teeth)

Echoes of the Beast -1

Beast Change Skills:
+4 Fists
+4 Stealth
+3 Athletics
+3 Alertness
+2 Endurance
+2 Might
+1 Survival
+1 Intimidation (I know technically social skills shouldn't become higher, but it seemed appropriate, as a kind of physical intimidation)


I'm really interested what you all think about this kinda rough concept.

[Masurao]

*listens to the crickets* Anyone? :0o

[devonapple]

How big is this mirror? It may not qualify for a full +2 if it's easily concealed.

Also, there needs to be an Aspect which more explicitly names/explains the mirror (or rename the Aspect about the Abyss, but that's a good Aspect and I'd recommend you keep it).

[UmbraLux]

I'm really interested what you all think about this kinda rough concept.

Other than the aspect issue devonapple pointed out I don't see any obvious mechanical issues.  However, I would have one question if a PC asked to play it in a game I was running...

What are you doing with the mirror after you've changed shape?

There's probably a few follow up questions based on the answer, but that's the big one. 

[wyvern]

Hm.  Don't know if it's what Masurao intended, but my mental image is a full-length mirror that needs to be present in order to change shapes.  So, not something you can really carry around with you, but you could leave it in the trunk of your car or something.  And heaven help you if somebody closes that trunk before you get back... that'd be well worth the +2, and also subject to fairly frequent compels to boot.

I'd tend to think that the looking into the abyss aspect could be considered to refer to the mirror - but then, I also tend to prefer relatively broad aspects, where the required aspect for an item of power includes not just the item itself, but thematically or symbolically related uses as well.

[devonapple]

Hm.  Don't know if it's what Masurao intended, but my mental image is a full-length mirror that needs to be present in order to change shapes.  So, not something you can really carry around with you, but you could leave it in the trunk of your car or something.  And heaven help you if somebody closes that trunk before you get back... that'd be well worth the +2, and also subject to fairly frequent compels to boot.

It certainly would be!

I'd tend to think that the looking into the abyss aspect could be considered to refer to the mirror - but then, I also tend to prefer relatively broad aspects, where the required aspect for an item of power includes not just the item itself, but thematically or symbolically related uses as well.

I figured it obliquely referred to the mirror, but I feel that the IoP-linked Aspect would need to be more explicit about it, like:

Bearer of the Obsidian Mirror
The Abyss Looks Back Through This Obsidian Mirror
The Obsidian Mirror Shows the Beast Beneath
The Beast Behind the Obsidian Mirror
The Obsidian Mirror A Beast Me Makes
Refracted in Tezcatlipoca's Mirror
Reflected in Tezcatlipoca's Mirror
The Cat in Tezcatlipoca's Mirror
The Beast in Tezcatlipoca's Mirror

[UmbraLux]

Hm.  Don't know if it's what Masurao intended, but my mental image is a full-length mirror that needs to be present in order to change shapes.  So, not something you can really carry around with you, but you could leave it in the trunk of your car or something.  And heaven help you if somebody closes that trunk before you get back... that'd be well worth the +2, and also subject to fairly frequent compels to boot.

Sure, I agree that would be worth the +2.  I'd also point out that such a mirror left in the wrong place is almost certain to be stolen.  And, since it's necessary to change shape, you'd be stuck until you recover it.  Yes it's a compel and you'd get a fate point...but it is going to happen unless you can arrange to change in a safe location each time. 

I prefer to warn players of potential downsides...it's fun!   

[wyvern]

I'd also point out that such a mirror left in the wrong place is almost certain to be stolen.  And, since it's necessary to change shape, you'd be stuck until you recover it.  Yes it's a compel and you'd get a fate point...but it is going to happen unless you can arrange to change in a safe location each time.

Oh, certainly.  That's rather the point, actually - the whole game is designed for the players to torment their characters with compels, after all.  And, well, if you really need it to not get stolen this particular time, you can always buy off the compel, or perhaps negotiate it down to "Ok, so I miss the next scene because I'm busy tracking down the mirror... again."  Which - depending on what that next scene is - could still easily be worth a fate point.

[Becq]

First off, good character; looks like it will be fun to play!

A few thoughts:

First of all, I understand that you are building your own template here, but it's probably a good idea to have something of an idea as to what that template is, because your powers and High Concept must tie in with that template, which in term helps define your character.  In your case, your powers all derive from an artifact, which appears to be imparting some traits of a dead(?) god from Aztech mythology to you.  This sounds a bit like a Scion (though Were-Form and Emissary of Power are clearly related), though by adoption, rather than bloodline.  So how about 'Adopted Scion' or 'Scion by Inheritance' as a template?

If that feels like a match, then perhaps you might want to go with a High Concept like "Adopted Child of the God of Night" or "Heir Trainee of the Jaguar God" or some variation on that?  This brings a couple of things to the table:
1) It allows you to invoke whenever a test involves a power you gained from your sponsor
2) It allows you to take compels when your sponsor gets you into trouble
3) It allows you to grow your character in interesting ways -- perhaps in time you might find that you don't even need the mirror any more... (I.e., you might buy off the IoP discount and make the powers inherent.)  Or you might buy other powers, representing the expanding conection to your power source.  Perhaps you might find yourself having to make a 'Choice' not too unlike the one Changelings must make.

If you did this, then "Hunter of what is hidden" would probably become one of your aspects.

[sinker]

Yeah, that's one issue I see. "Hunter of what's hidden" is incredibly vague and could be used to describe literally anything. It's not a bad aspect (in fact it's a pretty good aspect), but it may not be the greatest High Concept as it doesn't really tell us who you are.

Something else to consider. Depending on the game you might want to switch your trouble and your story. "Am I a dead god's plaything" would make a great trouble in a more supernaturally charged action game, whereas "Afraid to bare my fangs" would be great in a more hidden supernatural socially inclined game. Both are great aspects of note.

[Sanctaphrax]

If the mirror is stolen/broken/whatever while you are in jaguar form, what happens?

PS: The Spare Character Concepts thread would appreciate your contribution.

[Masurao]

Thanks for all the response, people! I'll try to answer the questions and suggestions, but this already helped me a lot!

How big is this mirror? It may not qualify for a full +2 if it's easily concealed.

Also, there needs to be an Aspect which more explicitly names/explains the mirror (or rename the Aspect about the Abyss, but that's a good Aspect and I'd recommend you keep it).

I always had the mirror envisioned to be somewhat egg-shaped and the size of a man's chest + abdomen (about a foot tall, slightly less wide). You could carry it in a bag, but I did not think that counted as easily concealed. (I mean, Michael carried his sword Sword in a gym bag) It would be rather flat, looking fragile, and might have some sharp edges. (I mean, it is obsidian!)

Other than the aspect issue devonapple pointed out I don't see any obvious mechanical issues.  However, I would have one question if a PC asked to play it in a game I was running...

What are you doing with the mirror after you've changed shape?

There's probably a few follow up questions based on the answer, but that's the big one. 

Good question, forgot to mention it and it could reasonably affect the pricing of the item. In my imagination the mirror would become part of the changed shape, with a nice visual effect of it turning into smoke or some tar-like substance covering the character's body as it changed. Hence the color black for the jaguar. So, should that change the cost of the Item of Power?

It certainly would be!

I figured it obliquely referred to the mirror, but I feel that the IoP-linked Aspect would need to be more explicit about it, like:

suggestions redacted

How's When you stare into the Abyss, you look into the mirror (of Tezcatlipoca)?

Yeah, that's one issue I see. "Hunter of what's hidden" is incredibly vague and could be used to describe literally anything. It's not a bad aspect (in fact it's a pretty good aspect), but it may not be the greatest High Concept as it doesn't really tell us who you are.

Something else to consider. Depending on the game you might want to switch your trouble and your story. "Am I a dead god's plaything" would make a great trouble in a more supernaturally charged action game, whereas "Afraid to bare my fangs" would be great in a more hidden supernatural socially inclined game. Both are great aspects of note.

&

First off, good character; looks like it will be fun to play!

A few thoughts:

First of all, I understand that you are building your own template here, but it's probably a good idea to have something of an idea as to what that template is, because your powers and High Concept must tie in with that template, which in term helps define your character.  In your case, your powers all derive from an artifact, which appears to be imparting some traits of a dead(?) god from Aztech mythology to you.  This sounds a bit like a Scion (though Were-Form and Emissary of Power are clearly related), though by adoption, rather than bloodline.  So how about 'Adopted Scion' or 'Scion by Inheritance' as a template?

If that feels like a match, then perhaps you might want to go with a High Concept like "Adopted Child of the God of Night" or "Heir Trainee of the Jaguar God" or some variation on that?  This brings a couple of things to the table:
1) It allows you to invoke whenever a test involves a power you gained from your sponsor
2) It allows you to take compels when your sponsor gets you into trouble
3) It allows you to grow your character in interesting ways -- perhaps in time you might find that you don't even need the mirror any more... (I.e., you might buy off the IoP discount and make the powers inherent.)  Or you might buy other powers, representing the expanding conection to your power source.  Perhaps you might find yourself having to make a 'Choice' not too unlike the one Changelings must make.

If you did this, then "Hunter of what is hidden" would probably become one of your aspects.

Okay, so I get what you're saying about my High Concept, as well as how it ties into my template. I was thinking along the lines of a Were-form or Emissary of Power, but Scion fits better, plus I didn't envision him as being 'Marked by Power' off the bat. How would Tezcatlipoca's Adopted Cub work as a High Concept? Also, I was thinking along the lines of the mirror being an item that allowed the God of Night to transform people to become his hunters. For this the mirror accepts a hunter in the broadest sense, as this guy hunts for knowledge, but it could have as easily been a hunter in a social sense or, y'know, an actual hunter.

If the mirror is stolen/broken/whatever while you are in jaguar form, what happens?

PS: The Spare Character Concepts thread would appreciate your contribution.

As I said before, I quite frankly didn't think about the mirror as being 'left behind', but that's because I didn't yet think of the character in a group setting. In a team, someone could hold the mirror for him, after he has changed, which makes more sense. As envisioned the mirror is somewhat broken, power-wise Any suggestions about this are welcome.

[Michael Sandy]

If he needs the mirror to change BACK to human, yes, it is worth the +2.

Assuming, of course, that panthers don't have hands.  Don't have POCKETS.  And definitely don't have keys.

So. Where does he leave the mirror?  And will it still be there when he wants to become human again?

To use it, he likely needs to have someone he trusts hold on to the mirror.  But if the mirror has the agenda that he STAY in panther or jaguar form, it is likely to cause him to distrust leaving the mirror in someone else's hands.

[Michael Sandy]

One thing you might do:

Keep the mirror concept for an Item of power, but don't link it to the change, but to some other interesting power.

And go with Rare or involuntary change, where he either needs the mirror to change or has to perform a long and involved ritual to do so.

[Masurao]

One thing you might do:

Keep the mirror concept for an Item of power, but don't link it to the change, but to some other interesting power.

And go with Rare or involuntary change, where he either needs the mirror to change or has to perform a long and involved ritual to do so.

Wouldn't that just be a 'a rose by any other name' kind of thing? With the IoP he needs the mirror, make it his own power and require him per Rare change to use the mirror, it's still effectively the same. And story-wise almost the same, except that if the shapeshifting powers are really his own, he might, every now and then, circumvent the mirror requirement, but with the IoP, he really, really needs that mirror.

However, your posts did raise this question: if he the mirror doesn't somehow become one with the character as he shapeshifts, would it still work? I mean, he changes into the jaguar-form, but then can't hold the mirror on his person. Or is this just a minor snag?