DFRPG Real men, Real roleplayers, Real loonies, and real Munchkins

[BumblingBear]

Ok all,

I made a response like this in another thread, and this joke really appeals to me so I am going to start a thread on it.

I really liked reading these kinds of humor threads about various RPGs, so let's start one about DFRPG


Templates:
Real men:  Play a gunhand
Real roleplayers: Play a wizard but then freak out when they realize they’re the most powerful offensive member of the group.
Real Loonies:  Play a minor talent with the Sight if they cover their eyes with cheese.
Real Munchkins:  Play whatever they can get away with, and attempt asking the GM for more refresh.

The Laws of Magic
Real men:   Avoid magic like the plague or stick to the Laws of Magic like glue.
Real roleplayers:  Enjoy a tarnished past like Harry’s, and play off of that.
Real Loonies:  Use damaging magic on themselves.
Real Munchkins:  “Magic?  Who needs magic when I can throw an 18 wheeler?”

Refresh level.
Real men:  Like to start with a fairly high refresh level so they can protect the innocent better.
Real roleplayers:  Like to start with a low refresh level to (in their mind) give more validity to their character and/or feel superior to min/maxers.
Real Loonies:  Only use a few refresh on stunts or powers and keep the rest free to make declarations about cheese every session.
Real Munchkins:  Want to be a higher refresh level than everyone else at the table.

Weapons:
Real men:   Like powers or stunts that allow them to make a regular weapon more deadly.
Real roleplayers:  Usually get stuck playing the wizard before they realize how powerful they are, and as such don’t really have to worry about weapons.
Real Loonies:  Carry an inherited silver butter knife.
Real Munchkins:  Want a Sword of the Cross as equipment.

If playing a character from canon:
Real men:  Like Kinkaid and Sanya.  For obvious reasons.
Real roleplayers:  Want to play Harry – for the dramz and investigation.
Real Loonies:  Want to play Butters or Toot Toot.
Real Munchkins:  Like Maeve’s style but she is not powerful enough, so probably the Erlking.  But he has to have a jetpack and a more powerful weapon.

Using aspects in combat:
Real men:  Duke it out with the enemy, and lay aspects when they think about it (which isn’t very often).
Real roleplayers:  Use creative aspects that may or may not actually help in a fight, but make them feel more confident in their role playing superiority.
Real Loonies:  Try antagonizing the monster to attack them and then hit it with a giant frozen fish they spent a declaration on.
Real Munchkins:   Don’t usually need aspects, but when they use them, hoard them all for themselves.

When dealing with a malevolent entity:
Real men:  Are very suspicious and contain their rage over the loss of innocents.
Real roleplayers:  Try to understand the entity, and treat it with the respect its station demands.
Real Loonies:  Try to join up.
Real Munchkins:  Try to figure out a way to steal its stuff or power.

Concessions
Real men:  Rarely take them, but can admit defeat when they are outgunned.
Real roleplayers:  Try to concede at the first sign of fighting.  Roleplaying is for role play, not fighting!
Real Loonies:  Never give up, never surrender!
Real Munchkins:  Try to take as many consequences as possible before conceding to get the max amount of fate points for it, but don’t want to give anything up during the concession and stonewall the GM.

Sponsored magic or religion:
Real men:  Work for the White God, and live to kick Denarian ass.
Real roleplayers:  Research world religions and find a cool fit for their character who offers good RP potential.
Real Loonies:  Make up their own god.  Chedor, the  god of cheese.
Real Munchkins:  Choose whatever god will give them the most power or has the most possibility of handing out magic items.

As a shapeshifter:
Real men:  Want to turn into a wolf or a bear.
Real roleplayers:  Want to turn into a fox or a sneaky cat.
Real Loonies:  Want to turn into a homeless person.
Real Munchkins:  Want to turn into the Erlking.

Stacking aspects:
Real men:  Stack aspects when necessary.  It may take a while to figure out that their attacks are not doing anything, but eventually they will do what they have to in order to win.
Real roleplayers:  Hate stacking aspects.  All combat should last 5 hours and nothing should be lethal.  This belief makes them secretly hate their wizard character.
Real Loonies:  Only do social aspects and then invoke for effect to make the monster cry before throwing cheese at it.
Real Munchkins:  Will still be stacking aspects until the monster is dead, and then get pissed they never got to attack.  Will also be pissed that they could not stack more than one aspect at a time.

Physical Immunity
Real men:  Take a mild Toughness power to better survive the battles they fight for others.
Real Roleplayers:  Don't take a toughness power at all, and mutter that those who do are min maxers.
Real Loonies:  Take Physical Immunity to Cheese.
Real Munchkins:  Take Physical Immunity with the catch being cheese, a toughness power on top of that (in case the enemy coats their weapons with cheese) and wants invisible IOP armor that specifically protects against cheese, probably made by sacrificing the Loony.

The White Council
Real Men:  The White Council is a bastion of hope against the forces of darkness.
Real Roleplayers:  The Council is good but misguided, and can be an interesting backdrop or occasional resource or conflict starter.
Real Loonies:  Attempt to gain membership into the Council through gratuitous usage of cheese.
Real Munchkins:  Pick off the Wardens and Senior Council one at a time.

Playing a Game in Canon with the books
Real Men:  Respect the GM's wishes, but don't let it interfere with gameplay.
Real Roleplayers:  THIS GAME MUST BE IN SEAMLESS CONTINUITY OF THE DRESDEN FILES AS PRESENTED BY THE ALL-FATHER, HIS HOLINESS JIM BUTCHER AND HIS PROPHETESS PRISCELLIE.
Real Loonies:  Will take every opportunity to break the canon... whilst using cheese.
Real Munchkins:  Will twist the GM's arm by keeping canon... only if they are the one that killed Simon Pietrovich.... or Kemmler.

When Offered Food in the NeverNever
Real Men:  Don't take it.
Real Roleplayers:  Would consider taking it, if it progresses the mission or story.
Real Loonies:  Will eat it only if it is cheese, or switch the fae food with cheese then act enthralled.
Real Munchkins:  Will only eat fruit from the Garden of Eden that will allow them to replace the White God.

Feeding Dependency
Real men: Don't make a big deal about it.
Real Roleplayers: Take Feeding Dependency (Blood) and angst constantly about it.
Real Loonies: Take Feeding Dependency (Cheese) and angst constantly about it.
Real Munchkins: Take Feeding Dependency (Water) and attach it to two Refinements or to Lawbreaker.

In the Nevernever...
Real Men bring an iron sword, that's all they'll need.
Real Roleplayers bring a silver dagger, parchment, wax, and their seal...all to sign the next set of Accords.
Real Loonies bring a fishing net, a bottle of wine, and some cheese, after all fishing in the Nevernever may net you a mermaid!
Real Munchkins bring an M1 Abrams.
[/quote]

"Playing a pure mortal":
Real men: Will play himself, only a little lot more buff.
Real roleplayers: He will do a lot of research to finally play a character that is as different from himself as possible to create a roleplaying challenge for himself.
Real Loonies: Plays a cheese salesman. Or a pure mortal cheese.
Real Munchkins: Somehow plays the only pure mortal that can shift into a wolf and throw a weapon:8 fireball with each paw.
[/quote]

City Generation
Real men: Built the city with their bare hands.
Real Roleplayers: Design intricate webs between all the faces.
Real Loonies: Build the city on Rock & Roll
Real Munchkins: Nuke the city...with their pure mortal throwing fireballs while shapeshifted into a Tarrasq.

Rituals
Real Men : Avoid them like the plague
Real Roleplayers: Use them for plot expediency
Real Loonies: Summon the god of Cheese
Real Munchkins: Sacrafise[sic] 100 npcs and become God.

[NicholasQuinn]

Fun read, neat.

Real roleplayers:  Usually get stuck playing the wizard before they realize how powerful they are, and as such don’t really have to worry about weapons.

Ah, but you still try to kick or punch someone in a fight with your fists of fair (tm), and use a .44 magnum with low guns skill because well, they're awesome.

[ways and means]

Ok all,


Stacking aspects:[/color]
Real men:  Stack aspects when necessary.  It may take a while to figure out that their attacks are not doing anything, but eventually they will do what they have to in order to win.
Real roleplayers:  Hate stacking aspects.  All combat should last 5 hours and nothing should be lethal.  This belief makes them secretly hate their wizard character.
Real Loonies:  Only do social aspects and then invoke for effect to make the monster cry before throwing cheese at it.
Real Munchkins:  Will still be stacking aspects until the monster is dead, and then get pissed they never got to attack.  Will also be pissed that they could not stack more than one aspect at a time.

Real Munchkins will realise that with sponsored magic and enchanted items means they can stack three aspects at once and never look back.

[BumblingBear]

Real Munchkins will realise that with sponsored magic and enchanted items means they can stack three aspects at once and never look back.

Eh?

Regardless of build, one can go into a fight with pre-prepared aspects (NGMs, assessments, declarations, and even thaumatergical boosts), but one cannot get more than one aspect per 1 roll per 1 exchange.

I am curious what you mean.

[Khalis231]

I believe Evocation can create more than one aspect with one action, by spending three shifts of power per fragile aspect or four shifts of power per sticky aspect. Doing so becomes expensive rather quickly, hence the use of sponsored magic or an enchanted item.

Edit: That's just based on what I've read in my few months of lurking here, though. I'm fuzzier on spellcasting than I am on the rest of the rules.

Aaand Edit Again: Scratch that. It's Thaumaturgy that does that trick.

[ways and means]

Thamaturgy allows you to create multiple aspects in one spell. With Sponsored Magic you can do thamaturgy at the speed of evocation so for 9 shifts you can give yourself 3 aspects. Enchanted items also can store thamaturgy and then use it when needed.  

[BumblingBear]

Thamaturgy allows you to create multiple aspects in one spell. With Sponsored Magic you can do thamaturgy at the speed of evocation so for 9 shifts you can give yourself 3 aspects. Enchanted items also can store thamaturgy and then use it when needed.  

I completely forgot about that.

LOL!

There's a reason I don't play sponsored magic anymore.  I am too tempted to destroy everything... and it feels so /good/.

[UmbraLux]

Regardless of build, one can go into a fight with pre-prepared aspects (NGMs, assessments, declarations, and even thaumatergical boosts), but one cannot get more than one aspect per 1 roll per 1 exchange.

Two aspects per exchange is available to anyone via skills alone, three (or possibly more) with sponsored magic.

Back on track...
In the Nevernever...
Real Men bring an iron sword, that's all they'll need.
Real Roleplayers bring a silver dagger, parchment, wax, and their seal...all to sign the next set of Accords.
Real Loonies bring a fishing net, a bottle of wine, and some cheese, after all fishing in the Nevernever may net you a mermaid!
Real Munchkins bring an M1 Abrams.

[Haru]

Real Loonies:  Take Physical Immunity to Cheese.

Aaaand I have a Buffy flashback.
"These will not protect you!" (for those who don't know: Clicky)
My favourite random nonsense whatsoever  

As for the rest, I like lists like that  

How about "Playing a pure mortal":
Real men: Will play himself, only a little lot more buff.
Real roleplayers: He will do a lot of research to finally play a character that is as different from himself as possible to create a roleplaying challenge for himself.
Real Loonies: Plays a cheese salesman. Or a pure mortal cheese.
Real Munchkins: Somehow plays the only pure mortal that can shift into a wolf and throw a weapon:8 fireball with each paw.

[ery13]

Aaaand I have a Buffy flashback.
"These will not protect you!" (for those who don't know: Clicky)
My favourite random nonsense whatsoever  

As for the rest, I like lists like that  

How about "Playing a pure mortal":
Real men: Will play himself, only a little lot more buff.
Real roleplayers: He will do a lot of research to finally play a character that is as different from himself as possible to create a roleplaying challenge for himself.
Real Loonies: Plays a cheese salesman. Or a pure mortal cheese.
Real Munchkins: Somehow plays the only pure mortal that can shift into a wolf and throw a weapon:8 fireball with each paw.

I Lol'd

[Sanctaphrax]

Feeding Dependency

Real men: Don't make a big deal about it.

Real Roleplayers: Take Feeding Dependency (Blood) and angst constantly about it.

Real Loonies: Take Feeding Dependency (Cheese) and angst constantly about it.

Real Munchkins: Take Feeding Dependency (Water) and attach it to two Refinements or to Lawbreaker.

[EldritchFire]

City Generation
Real men: Built the city with their bare hands.
Real Roleplayers: Design intricate webs between all the faces.
Real Loonies: Build the city on Rock & Roll
Real Munchkins: Nuke the city...with their pure mortal throwing fireballs while shapeshifted into a Tarrasq.

-EF

[ways and means]

Rituals
Real Men : Avoid them like the plague
Real Roleplayers: Use them for plot expediency
Real Loonies: Summon the god of Cheese
Real Munchkins: Sacrafise 100 npcs and become God.

[Haru]

Real Munchkins: Nuke the city...with their pure mortal throwing fireballs while shapeshifted into a Tarrasq.

So they throw fireballs that throw pure mortals? That's nasty

[Ala Alba]

So they throw fireballs that throw pure mortals? That's nasty

I lol'd more than I should have.