A Martian Wouldn't Say That!! compiled by Leonard B. Stern and Diane L. Robison is a wonderful little book about memorable memo's that those in the TV and movie industry have gotten from the Censors and Network Executives.
It seriously makes you wonder how anything good ever gets on TV or stays there.
The following are some excerpts from real memos sent to different TV shows.
Although Connie is a sociopath, make sure she's not without warmth.I think you're making a mistake having so many French involved in the production
of Les Miserables.TO L.S.Unfortunately, we are forced to put your program on hiatus. Is has elements of quality for
which we can't find an audience.Is it possible to improve the caliber of writing without doing a disservice to the show's
popularity and excellent demographics?TO: The Producers
FROM: VP. Current Programming
RE: My Favorite Martian____________________________________
Please change the dialogue on Page 14. A Martian wouldn't say that.Please do not sensationalize the dead gopher.NOTESHow committed are you to this Oscar Wilde fellow? If you want him to do the first draft, it's
all right with me.We're concerned about the uniforms on Star Trek. They look like the whole crew is wearing Dr. Dentons.URGENTI know this is short notice but the network wants to see the script for the pilot very badly and very quickly.Is there any way you could write the script now and do the research later?If you're intrigued or just wondering WTF - you can find the book on Amazon. It's a hoot and a half.
A friend who teaches script writing at AFI uses it in her classes.
