In light of tOOt-tOOt's shirt, and MSD's warning, I felt inspired to write a Dresdenized version of the song "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo
COMPLETELY RE-WRITTEN LYRICS
Singing the blues when the Good Guys lose, it's like finding all your clothes damp
On the run 'cause all your girlfriends are cops, Wardens or vamps
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Making your way as a P.I. today takes everything you've got;
Not making enough to fix your car, or re-fluff an Army cot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
All those nights when you've got no lights, the check is in the mail;
And your cat broke your dinnerplates when he chose to chase his tail;
And your third paying client didn't show;
Sometimes you want to go where nobody knows True Names,
And they're always throwing flame;
You want to be where you can see, everyone's treated the same;
You want to be where nobody knows True Names.
Climbing the walls when no one calls, is a job for Spider-Man
And the more you're down and 5 yards out, the crazier your plan
When your boss/girlfriend's 1,000 years old...
Roll out of bed, your alarm is dead; so turns the hand of Fate;
And your bro ran off to Europe, and your apprentice is jailbait;
And Bob wants a new bodice-ripper he can read without shame;
Be glad there's one place in the world where nobody knows True Names,
And couldn't care less that you came;
You want to go where people know, people are dealt the same;
You want to go where nobody knows True Names.
